Brasel
08-07-2008, 03:37 AM
Just so everyone knows, things are going much better. I had a bit of a break down a week or so ago, and then again on Sunday this week. Things have been really weird around here, busy as shit one moment, boring as hell the next. I've been working on my leadership shit the last week or so with my buddy and I've been keeping myself busy and trying to deal with soldier issues as well. This job can be very stressful, even though I'm not under direct line of fire all the time. I manage a network with more than 200 computers. The network isn't very stable because of the means we use to connect to higher. Its kind of hard to keep a network connected to the real world when you're in the middle of butt fuck nowhere in the desert. You have massive power issues with generators, dust storms that degrade signal to the point where you can't send shit out, and don't forget the fact that the equipment we use is made by the lowest bidder and the civilian "expert" support we get is sub-par. On top of that, the users on this network are primarily infantrymen. There are only one or two jobs that require less intellegence for a person to successfully do them in the Army than infantry. If you've ever seen the commercial for Ask.com where the guy walks into an internet cafe to see a bunch of chimps banging on computers with rocks and such...thats my userbase. I have some really dumb issues to fix on a daily basis. Thankfully, since the beginning of the deployment, I've had two new guys show up. They deal with most of the userbase, but I'm still directly responsible. Thats another big focal point of stress. In a normal civilian environment, your subordinates are only your subordinates at work. I have two guys that are both older than me that I have to make sure they wake up on time, exercise each day, bathe, dress properly, keep their rooms clean, act respectfully to other NCO's, eat chow, and sleep as well as train them up after the crappy Army school that doesn't teach you shit about your job and make sure they do a good and efficient job every time I task them out. Its almost like I'm a babysitter or a parent to these two. I'm very fortunate in the fact that they are both, for the most part, good soldiers who do everything they're supposed to, but I'm still under fire from my superiors if they step out of line or forget to do something. Thats just the way the army is. After all this, I'm away from my best friend and wife, Tera, every single day for 15 months save the 18 day break I got back in April, I hear about issues with my siblings and parents where I just feel like I should be there, my Grandpa has prostate cancer (he's fine though, and he'll make a full recovery), my other Grandpa I'm worried I won't get to see him ever again since he's not in the best of health, and who could forget financial issues. I'm getting out of the Army when I get back and I still don't have a job lined up and I'm supposed to be saving for a new house when I move back to Illinois. I'm not buying right away mind you, I'm smarter than that. All this is on one guy who has mental problems and is taking meds for it. I went to the unit mental health guy the other day, and while he didn't help out much right then, he has an interesting approach to my issues that I'm actually kind of excited to try. That, and he adopted a dog over here and I got to play with it for a good long time. That really made my night. :)
Now, I'm doing a lot better. My wife is doing GREAT with the finances and everything, on top of being my pillar of support. I couldn't ask for a better friend, lover, and ally. My buddy, Austin, is helping me out with some leadership issues that I've had. I never really had a mentor like he did or any of the other good NCO's around here did, I just had to wing it for the most part. He's giving me some good ideas and suggestions to keep my guys motivated and disciplined for the rest of the deployment, as well as some good issue tracking systems and such. Things are going much better. I just need to remember that I'm a damn good IT guy who has awesome delegating and decision making skills, and getting a good job will require a bit of work on my part, but I've got damn good experience and all I really need to work on is a couple of certs that I'm sure I'll have no problem obtaining. I've only got 6 or 7 months left of the Army and I'll be back in Illinois and worrying about normal things like everyone else, not worrying about what that explosion was or who's firing those gunshots when I'm trying to sleep at night. That should be a job skill: Sleeps through explosions and gunshots like it was some normal neighborhood nighly ambiance. :)
Now, I'm doing a lot better. My wife is doing GREAT with the finances and everything, on top of being my pillar of support. I couldn't ask for a better friend, lover, and ally. My buddy, Austin, is helping me out with some leadership issues that I've had. I never really had a mentor like he did or any of the other good NCO's around here did, I just had to wing it for the most part. He's giving me some good ideas and suggestions to keep my guys motivated and disciplined for the rest of the deployment, as well as some good issue tracking systems and such. Things are going much better. I just need to remember that I'm a damn good IT guy who has awesome delegating and decision making skills, and getting a good job will require a bit of work on my part, but I've got damn good experience and all I really need to work on is a couple of certs that I'm sure I'll have no problem obtaining. I've only got 6 or 7 months left of the Army and I'll be back in Illinois and worrying about normal things like everyone else, not worrying about what that explosion was or who's firing those gunshots when I'm trying to sleep at night. That should be a job skill: Sleeps through explosions and gunshots like it was some normal neighborhood nighly ambiance. :)