Cows of Death

[ZTC]

An expansive, yet simple contiune the story game.
While walking down the street, I noticed someone being attacked by a killer cow. I go up to see who's beeing stomped on, and I am surprised that it is...

[mrz84]

Kefka of FF6 infamy. I then readied Mallet-Sama to strike down this bully of the bovine kind when...

[Russ]

A bull comes up and steps on you. I run out to try to stop it when...

[ZTC]

Kefka makes the bull explode into a steak buffet for 40. I happily go to eat the food, but Kefka is pissed and...

[mrz84]

Kefka then pisses in the river where the citizens of Doma get their water. As the "poison" takes effect someone approaches Kefka.....

(fyi: there was a FF6 patch where the text was changed so that the above happened at Doma instead of just regular poison. When Cyan asks one of the dying Doma soldiers what happened the reply is:"Kefka...pee peed everyone...." Disgusting, but somehow fits into Kefka's character IMHO)

[ZTC]

And notices that he is being approached by a pack of Something Awful goons instead and is soundly beaten for ripping off of Awful Fantasy. They sit down to eat the buffet when they notice...

[Russ]

Their food is still moving. They attempt to pin it down with a fork when...

[ZTC]

Vampire clowns of death appear out of nowhere. The goons quickly dispaches them and then goes back to eating. Before they could leave the carnage...

[mrz84]

A wave of zerglings smell the fresh meat and decide to fight for the food. They horribly outnumber the goons. Death is sure for them when suddenly...

[ZTC]

Someone divided by zero and sucked everything in, leaving an empty bufet and a bloody Kefka. He gets up, laughs, and tries to summon Bahamut, but...

[chiefbigcalf]

realizes a googleplex of dinkleberry-sucking vampire mites is closing in on his ...

[mrz84]

treasure trove of hideous clown make-up. He readies to lay the smack down on the would-be clown-makeup thieves when...

[sps999]

a group of mole men come put from underground and attack. Kefka then realizes the mole men are too much and...

[chiefbigcalf]

using his cunning wile, attempts to bribe them with the allure of 1000 virgin mole women who have been injected with....

[odinson]

personal lubricant, and the rapex anti rape device that fits inside them invisibly

[chiefbigcalf]

As the mole men mount, Kefka must act quickly before they realize they have been duped. He summons ....

[sps999]

Bahamut, but...

[odinson]

Bahamut is very hung over from last night when..

[chiefbigcalf]

the dinkleberry-sucking vampire mites turn their attack on the copulating mole men and virgen mole women. Kefka , remnants of hideous clown makeup in tow, makes a beeline for the vortex that.....

[odinson]

leads to his private stash of Jagger and ruffies..