The Oppression of Big Sex

[Beldaran]

Big Sex has expelled smart new stork ideas from the classroom.
But what they forgot, was that every generation has its REBEL.
Ben blows the horn on suppression! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ThQQuHtzHM)

I really think it's a tragedy that Stork Theory doesn't get taught in school, along with Sex Theory. It's unfair! How can they just silence a vocal group just for being different?

Why Sex Theory is clearly wrong:

- Sex Theory is just a THEORY! No one has actually observed a baby appearing during sex!
- The stork is NOT just a theory! We know that it exists!
- It is highly improbable that a baby can be created from the random collision between a sperm and an egg cell
- Do you really want to believe that you are the result of dumb, blind chance, rather than a loving and nurturing stork?
- I have never observed a so-called sperm cell or egg cell. Have you?
- It's an insult to my value as a human being to think that I am a random accident, caused by nasty things people only do in their bedrooms
- Sex violates the second law of thermodynamics. There is no way a perfect baby can be made from a random, gooey mess
- Where are all the transitional forms? If it is true that sperm cells turn into babies, we should see stuff like sperm with arms and legs or babies with a large tail to swim around
- How was the first sperm created? Sex Theory proponents can't answer this question, which is but one of many holes in their Sex Theory religion

[ShadowTiger]

They should also consider how wounds heal. It's close enough of a process that they'd need some sort of lesser faerie deity to account for that.

"The fairy of battle."

[Beldaran]

I concur with your Fairy Theory.

[AtmaWeapon]

Oh I get it, it's like the creation of the universe theories! Big Sex is kind of like the Big Bang and Stork Theory is kind of like religion. You're so funny Beldaran!

(Expelled is a stupid movie BTW it's just this kind of hyperbole just kind of fuels the flame.)

[Breaker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGCxbhGaVfE&NR=1

this is the first time I've heard of this.

[ShadowTiger]

Water gods become displeased when large amounts of human refuse gather in one general location within a canal, whereas refuse thrown into oceans often disappears rather shortly.

But there is only one god. Must be spirits then. But those are only in Asian religions. Faerie tales, sure. Must be the faeries. I wonder what would happen if someone made a religion out of them. They'd probably have to retract that theory.

But then they would say that they had been wrong about that eventually, and would paint themselves in a corner in saying that they can be wrong. Can't modify your religion; can only mistranslate the holy text, or spread rumors.


I enjoy expanding on weird logic, though I do need to post a bit faster to keep the thoughts within their proper place within the stream.

[Breaker]

you are borderline incoherent, shadowtiger.. is something going on?

[Aegix Drakan]

You know...I never got the whole stork thing. Why would a random stork just drop off a kid at your place? I mean...you do it via mail order, or what?

Also, where do the storks get the kids? ?_? Who the heck came up with this story, anyway? It's kinda silly.



you are borderline incoherent, shadowtiger.. is something going on?

:P oh, don't mind ST. He's probably high on Okami right about now. XD

[AtmaWeapon]

You know...I never got the whole stork thing. Why would a random stork just drop off a kid at your place? I mean...you do it via mail order, or what?

Also, where do the storks get the kids? ?_? Who the heck came up with this story, anyway? It's kinda silly.Basically America is really stupid when it comes to teaching kids about sex. We figure that if we don't introduce it honestly to them at an early age, they won't learn about it until they're married and the parents have an awkward conversation the day of the wedding. Meanwhile dismemberment and decapitation are OK things to let your kids see.

So, we came up with stupid stories that kids will believe to protect them from the horrors of sex.

[DarkDragoonX]

Also, where do the storks get the kids?

Babies 'r' Us (http://www.toysrus.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=2255957), I would assume.

[Yoshiman]

You know...I never got the whole stork thing. Why would a random stork just drop off a kid at your place? I mean...you do it via mail order, or what?
Nope, they just drop it off at a random person's house, whether they want a kid or not. Why do teens become parents? Because storks are complete assholes. Duh.

[Aegix Drakan]

Nope, they just drop it off at a random person's house, whether they want a kid or not. Why do teens become parents? Because storks are complete assholes. Duh.

:D I guess that explains all the single parent families too...

[Smokin' D. Grass]

- It's an insult to my value as a human being to think that I am a random accident, caused by nasty things people only do in their bedrooms


Speak for yourself. And as far as the stork goes, I have a shotgun by the door incase of emergency. ;)

[DarkDragoonX]

The misspelling in your signature image causes me great pain.

[Smokin' D. Grass]

Watch Frisky Dingo, they explain it quite well.