Share your wisdom with me

[Ich]

Post a tidbit or two of knowledge that you feel has the potential to make other people's everyday lives better.

Undercover male cops generally don't have very long hair.
Never introduce somebody to drinking with shots.
Generics usually taste the same, and are sometimes made in the same factory. CVS-brand Airborne tablets taste better than the real stuff.
If a "friend" holds up something dubious and asks you to smell it, wave the fumes towards you instead of putting your face near it. Or, conversely, don't smell it at all.
You're wasting money if you buy premium liquor and mix it with soda/orange juice etc.
If you can get Lionshead in your area (PA, mostly), it's cheaper and better than most beers advertised on TV.
The only things dumber than not wearing a seatbelt is getting fined for not wearing a seatbelt.

[Beldaran]

Never pet a burning dog.

[phattonez]

Using a laptop in the literal sense will decrease your sperm count.

[rock_nog]

Never respond to an awkward, embarrassing question with a drink.
Never send a second drink down to check on the status of the first. If you play Beeblebrox's Gambit, you will lose every time.
Never, under any circumstances, drink pumpkin liqueur. No amount of drunkenness and no amount of mixers will make it any more tolerable.
Never attempt to see how much alcohol it takes to make you no longer be able to play Super Mario Bros.
What goes down red, comes up red.
If you're gonna use a phone for drunk dialing, make sure the only numbers in the phone are direct links to your potential victims. All it takes is one wrong move to go from a hilarious prank on a good friend to a horribly awkward conversation with said friend's parents.
Never use "Ronald Reagan" as a safeword. It might come up in the course of normal sexual activity.

[Archibaldo]

-Jager bombs are made with redbull and Jagermeister, not Beer and Jagermeister.
-If you're making out with a chick at the bar and your friend advises you not to, take the advice 'cause you're probably too drunk to make decisions for your self.
-The extra $0.10 to upgrade from no-name Mac and Cheese to KD is always worth it.
-Best Before dates are there for a reason.

[The_Amaster]

-If you see a group of people huddled together looking serious determine who's talking. If it's a chick walk up and say "He's a bastard". If it's a guy: "She's a whore".
90% of the time, it will be relavent.

-In a lecture, focus on what the teacher actually means, not just blindly copying down what their saying. It means that you can adapt and apply, not just parrot.

[MasterSwordUltima]

Don't get on the plane.

[Pineconn]

24) Don't worry, Pineconn Popsicles come in many flavors.

25) If you say something stupid in front of a crowd, don't worry, they'll forget it quickly. After they're done making fun of you.

26) If "con" is the opposite of "pro", wouldn't the opposite of "progress" be "Congress"?

[Prrkitty]

26) If "con" is the opposite of "pro", wouldn't the opposite of "progress" be "Congress"?


Hmmm... that specific comparison is just SO oxymoronish.

[Dechipher]

Don't get on the plane.

Thank you Angel Wearing Denim!

[phattonez]

-Best Before dates are there for a reason.

I disagree, milk is usually good for a few days after the expiration date.

[Beldaran]

Milk is never good. Yuck.

[Yoshiman]

-Best Before dates are there for a reason.
But the meaning of the best before differs if you're a man or a woman:

- If you're a woman, the date that appears on a package means it has to be in the garbage by that time, period.

- If you're a man, the date on the package just means it not quite as tasty afterwards.

[biggiy05]

-Best Before dates are there for a reason.

The dates are for the stores. Milk and most other stuff is always good for a few days after said "expiration date"

-Streaking is never a good idea when the temperature is below freezing.

[Beldaran]

-Size does matter

[Lilith]

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[ShadowTiger]

- Tact. Tact is one of the most useful skills to have. Even if you generally lack charisma of one type, you can turn the sides of whatever situation you're in by adding that extra little oomph to what you say.
- On that note, never make an enemy. It's -always- better to have a friend than a foe. If you still hate 'em, use 'em. If you use tact, they'll never know. :p People are a resource in more ways than one.

[Mitsukara]

The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing. ^.-

Oh, that and

Milk is never good. Yuck.
The above statement is false unless you're lactose intolerant. Sorry :X Though if we're talking about skim or 1% milk it's 100% true.

[Beldaran]

Milk literally makes me want to barf. For the most part, same with cheese, sour cream, cream cheese, cottage cheese, and all forms of dairy. I just HATE dairy. It gives me gas too.

It's just so gross! It's white slime from a cow's boob. It taskes like liquid snot. If you were to look at milk in a microscope it would be a clear liquid with giant gelatinous chunks of fat floating around like little heart attack pills.

It just grosses me the fuck out.

[Shyvus]

Milk literally makes me want to barf. For the most part, same with cheese, sour cream, cream cheese, cottage cheese, and all forms of dairy. I just HATE dairy. It gives me gas too.

It's just so gross! It's white slime from a cow's boob. It taskes like liquid snot. If you were to look at milk in a microscope it would be a clear liquid with giant gelatinous chunks of fat floating around like little heart attack pills.

It just grosses me the fuck out.

I agree so very very much.

Also, don't throw puppies off of cliffs and post it on youtube.

[Mitsukara]

That sounds like mild lactose intolerance in regards to the gassiness.

Different people have different tastes, though, too. There are people who don't like chocolate at all and such too. *shrugs* To each their own.

Myself, I find eating much of anything kind of gross when I think about it. I wish eating weren't necessary. If that were the case, I might eat purely artificial good-tasting stuff for the experience now and then, but not with any sort of regularity. Hunger sucks and consuming stuff sucks. Killing animals or using their bodily products or painstakingly farming plants- if you want to get really lofty, possibly also considered killing a form of life to harvest them- sucks. Stuffing gobs of crap inside a disgusting, germ-filled oriface in your face with horrific exposed bones and a freaky protruding muscle and mashing it around and swallowing it... and then it getting squished around and dissolved and other fun stuff before the leftovers are ejected in a grotesque and unrecognizeable form as refuse.... it's all just disgusting. Natural, but disgusting.

But given that I have to do it, I go with foods I enjoy and can get ahold of easily and try to avoid destroying my health by never eating anything healthy or going too overboard with bad stuff... cheese happens to be one of the things I enjoy more, but that's just me.

Sorry to derail the conversation XD

[Daarkseid]

It's just so gross! It's white slime from a cow's boob. It taskes like liquid snot. If you were to look at milk in a microscope it would be a clear liquid with giant gelatinous chunks of fat floating around like little heart attack pills.


And if some anti-dairy propaganda is to be believed, theres also cow pus mixed in that milk.

Then again its said alot of the grain and produce that goes into the foods we eat is similarly contaminated with biological agents, such as ground up insects and traces of animal feces.

[Mitsukara]

Then it could be said:

- Cleanliness is an illusion
- What you don't know won't hurt you (unless it's bad for you)

^.^

[Aegix Drakan]

- If you have no clue what the discussion is about and someone asks you for your opinion, ask them to repeat the question. Answering blindly will often screw you over.

- Know when to keep your trap shut.

- ...When it's winter, ALWAYS carry a hat. If there's a sudden cold snap, your ears will thank you.

- NEVER brush your teeth right before you eat something tasty. It will taste like crap.

- Do not go on a certain game's board jsut to flame the game. You will get attacked. (Sonic boards are the only exception, apparently)

[Pineconn]

When tickets are spewing out of an arcade game and no one is there to claim them, calmly walk over there and act excited. No one will be suspicious. (Actually happened to me.)

[Zaphod Q. IX]

Never drink more than a six-pack at work.

There is no finer entertainment than the show COPS. Poor people getting beaten by the man is some high class shit.

You want to impress a woman? Lick the alphabet.

drugs are bad. mmmkay?

Go away kid...you bother me.

I'm stoned and I can still spell, so what's your excuse?

[Aegix Drakan]

if watching internet videos in class, ALWAYS wear headphones, and make damn sure that the headphones are plugged into the correct jack. (I made that mistake once)

1337 5933k 15 64D
(leet speak is bad)

if you jump in front of a subway, have the decency to do it AFTER rush hour! Twice, I was trying to get home from high school, and the metro sytem was effed up because someone jumped in front of a subway car in the middle of rush hour. Seriously. Don't do that. You'll just make everyone hate your dead, splattered guts.

[Lilith]

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[Mitsukara]

Life is better when you imagine YTMND meme music starts playing during appropriate situations. Like epic maneuver (http://epicgeordi.ytmnd.com/) music.

[MasterSwordUltima]

If you get about a gazillion other people who like Star Wolf and post about your desires for him to be a playable character in the upcoming Super Smash Bros. game, it will happen.

Not so much if you're big on Geno though.

Also, once in your lifetime, you need to dress up in full BDUs and go to a laser tag arena. I do it all time, and let me tell you, the amount of authority and respect you gain is incredibly satisfying, even if you don't know shit about laser tag.

[Feasul]

If you were to look at milk in a microscope it would be a clear liquid with giant gelatinous chunks of fat floating around like little heart attack pills.

It's a good thing I don't care what my food looks like under a microscope, cause milk is awesome. I only like skim and 1%, though, and sometimes 2%.


Also, don't throw puppies off of cliffs and post it on youtube.
That should be "If you throw a puppy off a cliff, don't post it on youtube."