Drinking stories that put yours to shame

[Prrkitty]

http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/wayoflife/10/26/mf.drinking.storries/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Quote: # Story Highlights
# History full of drinking stories that are hard to swallow
# Bartenders in canoe dipped drinks from alcohol fountain
# Brew-nami of 1.3 million gallons of beer killed 9 people
# Sailors drank vat of rum preserving dead body of Adm. Nelson

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My only drinking story (if I remember right it was 1977/1978/1979) involves what was called "Purple Jesus" (created in a bathtub with so many bottles of alcohol I can't remember what all was used, fruit (grapes, water melon, cantaloupe, cherries, etc) and stirred with a wooden boat paddle. I think the guys started making this concoction a week ahead of time.

I remember that mostly all I was given was the fruit... with very little liquid. I didn't drink much at all at that time and didn't know what the guys (including my husband (1st one) were doing to me. When it was time to go home it took several of the guys to help get me out to the truck to go home. After that night everyone called me a "happy comical drunk".

I don't remember much of that night or the next day for that matter. Which is probably a good thing.

Now it's y'alls turn ;)

[Archibaldo]

With great drinking stories comes great hangovers.

I don't really have a single great drinking story but a collection of small legen.. wait for it... dary nights. Most of them involve playing the best drinking game ever, the christmas tree game*. It also includes preventing McDonalds** from closing for 20 min and smoking so much weed that you can't remember how I managed to spend 30$ in one night with out ever buying a drink at the bar.

*The christmas tree game goes as follows. You mix together any amount of decks of playing cards, minimun of 2. YOu then lay the cards face down in the form of a christmas tree. Bottom row has 10 cards and so forth. Then you deal out the remaining cards to the players. The player's hands are revealed. The first row is drink 1, the second is give 2, the thrid is drink 3, and so forth. And no matter haow many rows you have the minimum number of sips you have to take on the last card at the top is always 10+. So you reaveal the cards one at a time, if any body has the revealed card, they perform the required action. If they have doubles, triples, etc, they multiply that action by that number. At first it doesn't seem so bad, but when you're up to row 5-6, and its all give 12 sips or take 15, it gets pretty bad. Cause when we play, 10 sips=Chug a beer. So when you accumulate like 30 sips, you have to chug 3 beers.


**Btw, McDonald's tastes like heaven when you're drunk.

[ShadowTiger]

Eh, I really don't drink, much less like to. However, since I'm Jewish, I have to. Yeah. Certain holidays require it. I remember one year on the holiday of Passover, (AKA "Jewish Housewives all over the world run rampant and start screaming your head off due to how much you have to clean and set up" week.) the family got so drunk off of just "going with tradition" of the four cups of wine that we just kinda started sleeping at the table, without regard to the rest of the night's proceedings. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and then going back to the table to continue sleeping instead of going up to my room.

That's actually my worst. :p

[Dechipher]

I'm still not sure how I didn't win biggest drunk...

1. August 25, 2007. My friends and I did a power hour with vodka, in which every ten minutes you take a shot. However, apparently we were using a double shot each time, moving our total from 6 in an hour to 12, 100 proof. Around #7/8 we realized this but by then we didn't really care. I don't remember a whole lot except vomiting and a crazy girl who had an agenda. I remember being naked in a bed, but I woke up facedown on the floor, fully clothed, next to a condom.
*shrug*
2. Freshman year of college, 2nd week. Not really familiar with how to drink yet, I get fully wasted on straight bacardi (that's how I rolled back then, and my friends kept telling me I hadn't drank enough. so I kept drinking more.) I don't remember much of this night either, just little snippets, but eyewitness reports confirm that I ran from the apartments to the dorms with no pants on, proceeded to attack my friend with a pool stick in the lobby, went upstairs, tried to jump off the balcony, and then went inside my room and proceeded to vomit 4 times, at which point my roommate cleaned it up and moved into the fraternity house for the remainder of the year.
3. End of Freshman year, April 2007. My friends and I did the gallon challenge, in which you attempt to drink an entire gallon of milk in underneath an hour. I'd never done this but had already resigned myself to vomiting. Within 20 minutes I had drank roughly 2/3rds of the gallon, at which point I started to shiver a lot and hate everyone and everything. At about a half hour I said "fuck this" and went over to the storm drain and just drank and drank until I vomited. It was tight. No alcohol involved but it was still an awesome experience.
4. There are a lot of random drinking stories in which various things have happened to me at parties. One night I dressed as a french maid (it was for halloween party last year, actually a year ago tonight.) and ran around barefoot all night, belligerent as anything. Another time they got me on camera talking for about ten minutes about how small my penis is (which is totally not true, by the way, I'm mega average.) I almost got in a fight with a polish dude a few months back because apparently I thought it was a good idea to say "Fuck you woman, make my dinner" to him in polish, at his apartment. But we're cool now. You know, those Polish. They're FN crazy.

[Lilith]

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[Anarchy_Balsac]

Well, I did get my BAC to .41 once. Imagine phasing in and out of consciousness from second to second. Yeah, that's what it was like. I could name numerous others but they all pale in comparison to that one, not that they aren't still wild and crazy though.

[Lilith]

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[Dechipher]

I'm drunk tonight and was dressed as a banana the whole fucking night. I helped a drunk bitch not die and I stared at stars. Now I'm naked and wishing I didn't have a girlfriend that stayed with her parents.

[Ich]

Fastnacht is a celebration of the approximate end of winter; it is German mardi gras. "Schmotzigen Dunnschtig", or "Dirty Thursday", is the drunkest night of the year.

0600: Asleep.
0615: People, including a marching band, in white sheets, pass through the streets outside the apartment. This is to scare away the spirits of winter or something.
0630: I make breakfast for Alex, and eat. All the food in my stomach bothers me. We get ready for school. I feel sick. We put on costumes; I'm a cowboy, like my president.
0725: We take the number 1 bus to school.
0750: "Classes" start. This amounts to hanging around in the gym, watching each class present something, usually making fun of the teachers. They take this in stride.
0840: The city marching band (dressed as fools) shows up and sets us free; a traditional end to school for the coming week. Fastnacht break commences. Some kids from my grade give me a beer. I feel kind of sick.
0913: I take the train back to my host family's house. I feel better.
1010: I arrive back in Liggeringen. The town hall is giving away free sparkling wine and beer. I make a very poor decision and stick around for two hours, getting hammered. As the party is winding down at the town hall, I meet up with a group of half a dozen men, aged around 50-65, and am invited back to a house with the group to eat food and drink apple cider.
12XX: I am offered a fourth glass of hard apple cider. Hard cider? Oh shit. We then consume a shot of apple schnapps (the guy made it himself from his apple orchard) to aid in digestion. You've got to digest food properly, y'know?
13XX: I make a toast: "When I read about the dangers of drinking, I stopped... reading." I black out.
1800: Asleep.
1813: Woken by host father who has brought the telephone into my room. Alex is on the other end and asks me where I am. A good question. I don't remember going to bed, but it was probably sometime about 3 hours ago. I feel sick. I tell Alex I'm going to take the next bus.
1829: Got out of bed. Quickly cleaned up vomit next to bed and grabbed a half a case of Tannenzäpfle; put them into a tote bag, ran to the bus.
1843: On the bus. I feel sick.
1859: The Regional Express leaves, and I have to wait for the Seehas. I feel somewhat better, and buy a Fanta.
1938: Arrival in Konstanz. The number 5 bus takes a detour by way of Brüelstraße, and I get out.
1945: In Alex's apartment, Rebecca, Steve, and Jay are there, along with a German, Oskar. They've already finished off the rest of the Jacky, possibly already having started on Jay's voddy. They are thrilled about the arrival of new alcohol, and start their first round of Tannenzäpfle (you can't easily get it outside of southern Germany, and they've all been staying in Niedersachsen). It's good beer. I finish my Fanta, and still feel a little sick.
2002: Jay starts a power hour: one beer shot per minute. During the next 20 minutes or so, nobody pays enough attention to make sure they do them on time, so they constantly are playing catch up. With 2 cl shot glasses, you consume roughly 1.2 liters of beer in an hour. A variation is the "century" which is the same, but lasts 100 minutes. It's good to have a clock on hand with seconds displayed.
2015: Alex says we should go soon.
2035: We all leave the Wohnung (apartment), with varying degrees of sobriety. I'm not interested in drinking; Jay and Becca can't walk very well. Steve is with his host brother (14 and mostly sober). According to Jay, this is where his "filmriss" starts. "Filmriss" means "film rip" in English. If your memory could be characterized as a movie, imagine a section that's missing because of alcohol.
2040: At the bus stop (about 60 seconds from the Wohnung) I tell Alex I'm going to go check on the others. We kiss and bump our teeth against each other. I now am missing part of my tooth (a cap, but still). Jay and Becca have stumbled into the bushes about 10 meters from the door. Jay ostensibly went there to urinate; his pants are down. Rebecca tries to pull him up; she falls and hits the wall. She freaks out because it hurts and asks me to check if she's bleeding. I can't see, but her head feels dry. I try to help Jay up. Jay says he wants to see if he can prove to himself that he's able to stand up on his own. He recites the alphabet backwards, to see how drunk he is, and stops in the middle. zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba. He finally gives up; I help him up. We try to pull up his pants with mixed results. He goes into the middle of the street, pants at his ankles, and urinates. Rebecca says "oh my god, I lost an earring in the bushes." I tell her I don't want to look for it now, but am sober enough to remember where to look tomorrow. She then insists she needs to go inside and go to the bathroom. I try and bring Jay along, but he won't come. I take Rebecca upstairs. Jay is in the bushes when I come back out, and I help him inside. I tell him we're taking the elevator. He refuses, on the grounds that he's sober enough to handle the stairs. I shrug. Both collapse onto the bed in the apartment, and stay in the same position for the next hour until I leave. I get Rebecca a bucket; she says she feels sick.
2200: I guide Steve to the apartment with the number 6 bus
2213: I finally leave (again) to go to Fastnacht, by getting on the bus with Steve. We get out at Untere Laube and wander through the city. The streets are littered with broken glass, and teeming with people. It's insane. I meet up with Alex, then Niklas and Friedrich. They're not sober. We wander around for a while, and then go to McDonalds.
2307: I look at the time, and then go (bus 6) back to the Wohnung to check on Becca and Jay. They're still drunk, but now cuddling. They say they can't leave. I tell them how they can come to the city later.
2340: I go back into the city, and meet Alex at the Kaiserbrunnen. We go to Stefansplatz again, and dance until the party stops at midnight. We go to the Brauhaus and dance for a bit. I drink my first beer of the evening, a Fasnet bier, although I had beer much earlier in the day. Steve collects other people's glasses and turns them in for the €1.50 deposit. What a jerk.
0115: We leave the Brauhaus, and walk to the Wohnung. Jay and Rebecca are there. This is roughly where Jay's Filmriss stops.
0130: In the apartment, Jay and Rebecca have started drinking again, and are being loud. I try and calm them down, then go to bed.
0145: Steve comes into Alex's bedroom, where I'm sleeping, and asks us if we have any condoms. They were planning to have a threesome (which never actually happened). We don't, and he leaves.
0200: Steve calls his mom in the US from Alex's phone in the apartment. She isn't happy about that.
0315: They're still being loud. I tell them that they're definately pissing off the neighbors. Jay has chucked two empty beer bottles from the balcony, followed by a firecracker (looked kind of like an M2000). Steve asks me "Why are you against being loud and irresponsible? You're an anarchist." I gently explain to him that I'm interested in replacing coercive government institutions with voluntary civil ones. "Oh." Jay climbs around the divider between our balcony and the next-door neighbor's.
0330: I take the rest of their vodka and they quiet down for the night.
0400: Asleep. Uneasy dreams.

[Aegix Drakan]

>_> I don't really drink (beer tastes like crap for me), so sue me. This is the best I got.

(my two high school buddies drag me to a bar after seeing a movie)
Guy 1: Alright! Everyone is ok with a pitcher of (insert beer name) Right?
guy 2: yeah, I guess...
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't like how beer tastes. I'll just have a 7-up
Guy 1: *absolutely astounded look* Wh-whaaat?!? You can't just walk into a bar and not order alcohol!!!
Me: Oh yeah? ("waitress, I'd like a 7-up please!") I think I just did.
Guy 1: HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?!? YOU CAN'T JUST-
Guy 2: Ok, enough already. This means more for us, so don't complain.
Guy 1: >_<

[ninjagaiden]

Well, I did get my BAC to .41 once. Imagine phasing in and out of consciousness from second to second. Yeah, that's what it was like.

I work in an emergency room. This is the information that I got out of one of my books.

.30-.39 Nonresponsive stupor
Loss of consciousness
Anesthesia comparable to that for surgery
Death (for many)

.40 & up Unconsciousness
Cessation of breathing
Death, usually due to respiratory failure

I can certianly agree about the consciousness. There are many cases of overdosing that go untreated. But any way, Party ON.

[Anarchy_Balsac]

I work in an emergency room. This is the information that I got out of one of my books.

.30-.39 Nonresponsive stupor
Loss of consciousness
Anesthesia comparable to that for surgery
Death (for many)

.40 & up Unconsciousness
Cessation of breathing
Death, usually due to respiratory failure

I can certianly agree about the consciousness. There are many cases of overdosing that go untreated. But any way, Party ON.

Those are generalizations, they are good for acting like a guideline of what to expect. The problem is that the effects of drugs and alchohol are extremely various from person to person. The level people usually die at is .45, but can indeed be as low as .40, it can also be as high as .50. So you aren't necessarily unconscious at .40, although you are certainly severely hindered. I can tell you that my brain was shutting off and on(what was causing the consciousness phasing) based on how I remember it.

And that's another thing, most people won't remember being that drunk. I on the other hand have never forgotten a drunk or high experience so I dunno.