Don't read this thread

[AlexMax]

-=SPOILER=-

[Darth Marsden]

...that's not funny.

EDIT: Ok, maybe a little. The source page is great though.

[Fiyerstorm]

Wait is this real?!?

[Darth Marsden]

No, it's not real. The book doesn't come out until Saturday - this is all made up.

[Fiyerstorm]

Well I went to the source & there's a link to download a zip that contains digicam photos of someone who pain-stakingly took a photo of every two pages of the book from beginning to end! O_O

[Beldaran]

Item #1 on the list of things I seriously did not need to ever see.

Absolutely do not click unless you literally want to see Harry Potter's penis. Explicit Imagery. (http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Harry-Potter-fully-nude-penis.jpg)

I feel like I need to use mouthwash on my eyes.

[Glitch]

lol spoil'd

[AlexMax]

No, it's not real. The book doesn't come out until Saturday - this is all made up.

Suit yourself.

[Darth Marsden]

I highly doubt that JK would use the word 'Bitch' in a children's novel. Not unless she wanted to be responsible for thousands of kids across the world repeating it.

Also: it's from Encyclopedia Dramatica, which is impossible (http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Main_Page) to take seriously and is SO NSFW it's unbelievable.

[mrz84]

I found some this hard to believe in the first place and I shall continue to do so until I read the actual book itself when it comes out. :kitty:

[Glitch]

hahaha, these are real btw guys.

[Fiyerstorm]

Haha, she does indeed use the word 'bitch'. You have to understand that her true-hardcore-since-book-1 audience has grown older and that her novels are popular among adults, so she probably felt okay with using bitch since it's the ''safest'' of swear words.

Anyway, there'll probably be a 'kiddie' version shortly after this version cause we all know us Americans like to start a good drama over something small. :D

And hey, it'll make the ''Bitch'' version more popular which will result in even more book sales!

Nice move, Ms. Rowling.

[Beldaran]

I've seen other "real" sources that showed leaks and screenshots that directly contradict the information in Alexmax's post.

[Modus Ponens]

Item #1 on the list of things I seriously did not need to ever see.

Absolutely do not click unless you literally want to see Harry Potter's penis. Explicit Imagery. (http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Harry-Potter-fully-nude-penis.jpg)

I feel like I need to use mouthwash on my eyes.

Wow, he looks a lot like me.

[DarkDragon]

The ending is so bad it can't possible be fake :-/ I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, the series has always had a pronounced downward trend.

Seriously though, if the scans are fake, they're very well done - typesetting, writing style, and previously leaked plot points are all consistent. Moreover, Scholastic is apparently seeking a subpoena (http://www.mugglenet.com/) to find the poster, which adds credibility to the leak.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

So, while I was on vacation in Missouri attempting to work my subtle charms on a young lady friend of mine, we actually went to see Order of the Phoenix twice. I had previously only seen the first movie, and I've read none of the books. And let me say, everything I loathe about Harry was confirmed once more. I'm so glad that the final book is out, so this series can begin it's slow, maddening cultural death and something more tolerable can take it's place.

Seriously, I cringed constantly during that movie. As much as I hate to admit it, the dialogue and much of the acting was as bad or worse than the Star Wars prequels. And I swear to God, if there is another movie where more sentences are begun with the word "Anyway", I haven't seen it. Seriously, some sequences had two separate "Anyway" lines within seconds of each other. It's enough to make a man want to stab things without regard.

[phattonez]

I want to show this to my friend who loves Harry Potter, but she'd kill me. But I hate Harry Potter so I'm really considering it.

[Majora]

Deathly hallows is #7 right? There are 8 years at Hogwarts. JK plans to write another book, the final one (The REAL final one) I heard it on Fox News once.

[biggiy05]

Deathly hallows is #7 right? There are 8 years at Hogwarts. JK plans to write another book, the final one (The REAL final one) I heard it on Fox News once.

No...there are only seven books and this is the final installment of the book.

[AtmaWeapon]

This conflicts with a spoiler thread I saw on another forum, now I'm not sure which set of spoilers is real and which are made up. The torrents are out there but I'm just letting MY GIRLFRIEND spoil it for me as she reads it.

The way I see it, a book has a beginning, an ending, and the parts between. The amount of the book dedicated to each is split 1%/98%/1%. If, by knowing the last 1% of a book's content, it is so thoroughly ruined for me that it isn't worth reading, then the book wasn't worth reading in the first place.

There are rare exceptions, particularly short stories with gimmick endings, but in general I don't think I've ever read a novel without glancing at the last page a time or two as I go through it.

[Lilith]

looool pwned

[Glenn the Great]

If I'm not mistaken, bitch isn't really that serious of a word in England. Didn't Ron already tell Harry to "Bitch off?", or was it "Piss off?"


Wow, he looks a lot like me.

Including the uncut penis?

[MrCow]

you seem awfully interested there glenn

[Beldaran]

yeah that's the creepy question of the day.

[Glitch]

Glenn is such a faggot

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

JK plans to write another book, the final one (The REAL final one) I heard it on Fox News once.

Rowling said that she doesn't intend to, but also said she never says never, and made a referrence to Sherlock Holmes, who was brought back to life after 19th century fanboys complained. So basically, even if the title character dies, she's still willing to write another book if she decides she wants a bigger house.

[Fiyerstorm]

Indeed DarkRaven!

That bitch can just write one new plot-making sentence about HP and sell it for 10 bucks and it'll be the NY Times Bestseller. ;(

She's a fiend.

[biggiy05]

Indeed DarkRaven!

That bitch can just write one new plot-making sentence about HP and sell it for 10 bucks and it'll be the NY Times Bestseller. ;(

She's a fiend.

That's what you get for not giving me a cookie!

on topic....It will fade away sooner or later. The lord of the rings was a big thing during it's time. Not as big as this but like all fads it will fade away. It will just be another 10 or 20 years before that happens.

[phattonez]

I wouldn't put it past her. She can write whatever crap she wants at this point and make millions.

[Archibaldo]

I was watching the news yesterday and apparently, theres a video on the web of some guy showing the book to the camera. And he proceeds to read key parts of the book to the camera. And apparently Scholastics is filling a suit to the person who leaked the book in the first place. So in conclusion, theres a mix of truth and lies in the spoilers, we just don't know which ones which.

[phattonez]

Let's just wait until Saturday morning and then we'll post up the real spoilers. Don't you remember this: "Snape kills Dumbledore."

[Dechipher]

By the way Alex, the rep I gave you was supposed to be negative.

[Glenn the Great]

I've got the book now, and I can confirm that the spoilers in the original post are accurate.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Great. Now we all know what happens, and it can finally begin the slow, lumbering journey towards literary death, hopefully before I begin the slow decay into actual death.

[biggiy05]

I've got the book now, and I can confirm that the spoilers in the original post are accurate.

AAAAAAND nobody gives a shit.

[AlexMax]

By the way Alex, the rep I gave you was supposed to be negative.

Sorry for ruining your magical harry potter experience.

oh by the way

http://xs217.xs.to/xs217/07290/spoiler_shirt.png (http://xs.to)

[Dechipher]

Sorry for ruining your magical harry potter experience.


I'm just saying, when I read a book or when I watch a movie, I want it for the experience. I don't want some asshole telling me what's about to happen, or this parts funny, or you have to pay attention here. That ruins the experience. It's incredibly rude and immature to pull that shit. I get emotionally attached to whatever movie or book I'm watching or reading, or else what's the point? I didn't dress as a fucking wizard or any shit like that, I would just like to read a fucking book without some pale-ass nerd on an internet gaming site trying to feel cool by cleverly enticing people to unwittingly read spoilers to a book that has yet to come out, all the while not realizing that it just makes him look like an asshole who has to take out his sexual frustrations for looking like a deformed McCulkin offspring.
But, that's just me.

[DarkDragon]

Chill the fuck out. Nobody forced you to read his entire post once you saw what it was about.

I get all of the references except "Dil is actually a man," "the killer's mother is actually part of his split personality," and "Kristin J.R." What movies are these?

[AlexMax]

Nerd rage over a fictional teenage boy and his magic wand

this is honestly the funniest fucking thing I've read all night


Chill the fuck out. Nobody forced you to read his entire post once you saw what it was about.

I get all of the references except "Dil is actually a man," "the killer's mother is actually part of his split personality," and "Kristin J.R." What movies are these?

No idea what the first one was, but the second one is Psycho and the last one is Dallas.

[Dechipher]

I didn't read his entire post, I unwillingly took in the first 5 lines or so, and then clicked out. It's rare that I get a book or a book series that I'm into. The only two I can think of are Dune and Harry Potter. I never get a chance to read a good book, and like I said I don't like shit to be ruined for me. It's immature and it's a shitty thing to do. It's disrespectful. It doesn't matter if it's on the internet or in person, I don't want someone giving me any information about what's going to happen in anything. I try to get the most out of everything I do, big and small, and this happens to be the conclusion to a series I've been reading since early middle school, so I'd like to be able to experience it how I want.

[Darth Marsden]

I get all of the references except "Dil is actually a man," "the killer's mother is actually part of his split personality," and "Kristin J.R." What movies are these?
'Dil is actually a man' - The Crying Game.
'The killer's mother is actually part of his split personality' - Psycho
'Kristin shot J.R.' - Dallas (missing work in italics)

The design is from this (http://www.threadless.com/product/844/Spoilt) t-shirt.

For those who don't get some of the references, they're all explained here (http://digg.com/movies/Spoilt_tshirt_ruins_18_pop_culture_spoilers_all_in _one_design?t=6800659).

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Nobody forced you to read his entire post once you saw what it was about.

I'll admit that it's rather tempting to click on it, but Alex did kinda warn you with the title "Don't read this thread". I mean, you can't really complain when it's that obvious that something within is going to be controversial.

It would have been nicer, I suppose, if he'd titled it "Hairy Harry Faries be wary!" or something, but really, get off it man. You know that somewhere, there are going to be spoilers, whether on the net, or in line at the store, or whatever. So next time you like something and don't want to find out about it in advance, stock up on Spaghetti-O's, shut your blinds, and have your electricity turned off until the movie/book/tv show/etc. is out.

[Ich]

I can confirm everything he said. I finished reading it yesterday. I don't understand people hating spoilers. I like knowing what happens because then I'm not in such a hurry to find out what happens and I can take my time reading the book.

[phattonez]

I don't think people hate spoilers as much as accidentally finding them. Don't you remember "Snape kills Dumbledore"?

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Don't you remember "Snape kills Dumbledore"?

Actually, this is the first time I've heard that. Ever. So, thanks for ruining the book that I'm never going to read, Phats. I hate you with the hatred of a thousand hateful suns!

Grrrrr!



Ha ha, though, seriously, I remember hearing about people crying when the old wizard man died. I find that entirely hillarious. I mean, I never shed a tear when Gandalf fell off the bridge in Moria, or when Theoden got smashed on the Pellenor Fields.

[mrz84]

I am reminded of an episode of the Simpsons where Homer and Lisa are reading a book that spoofs Half Blood Prince. Anyways, Homer reads ahead because he likes the book and then finds out that Dumbledore's counterpart in this book, Greystach, dies. He blurts it out loud and a telephone pole worker right out the window is reading the book and says, "Thanks for ruining it!" and throws his book at Homer. :kitty:

[Glitch]

http://www.philosophiste.com/images/spoiler.jpg

[DarkDragoonX]

Ah shit, I hadn't read that yet, Glitch! Thanks a lot!

[Archibaldo]

I added spoiler tags to Alex's post so that what happened to Decipher doesn't happen to anybody else. Seriously Alex, spoiler tags are implemented for a reason. Don't be a dick.

[Brasel]

If you go to that source site, there were people either spamming the spoilers or even yelling them through a megaphone. Thats pretty fucked up. They were all teen aged boys for the most part too. Dicks. I'll admit, I read the spoilers even after I realized what they were and I don't blame Alex Max for posting them, even though I think he should have been more specific in the title for the people who really wanted to avoid it. I mean, when you hover over the title in the thread list, it tells you a couple of the spoilers. Thats what lured me in. Some people, like me, don't really care to be spoiled too much, but I still think its pretty childish to try and ruin it for people who don't want to know.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

I am reminded of an episode of the Simpsons where Homer and Lisa are reading a book that spoofs Half Blood Prince.

I like the part where he changes the ending to keep Lisa from getting sad. The moment where Lisa/Harry from the story says "I escaped somehow!" is priceless.

Also, Glitch, you win this year's "Most Inoffensive Joke About Jesus" trophy. Kudos.

[AlexMax]

I added spoiler tags to Alex's post so that what happened to Decipher doesn't happen to anybody else. Seriously Alex, spoiler tags are implemented for a reason. Don't be a dick.

In 30 years, when you are facedown on your living room floor, cheesy Cheetos residue drooling helplessly out of your mouth, your body suffering from a massive heart attack, memories from your past flooding your soon-to-be non-functioning brain, do you really want a memory of you vindicating a Harry Potter fan to be one of those memories? Is that really what you want out of life?

[Dechipher]

In 30 years, when you are facedown on your living room floor, cheesy Cheetos residue drooling helplessly out of your mouth, your body suffering from a massive heart attack, memories from your past flooding your soon-to-be non-functioning brain, do you really want a memory of you vindicating a Harry Potter fan to be one of those memories? Is that really what you want out of life?

I personally would much rather remember being a bitch on the internet. It's much cooler.

[Archibaldo]

In 30 years, when you are facedown on your living room floor, cheesy Cheetos residue drooling helplessly out of your mouth, your body suffering from a massive heart attack, memories from your past flooding your soon-to-be non-functioning brain, do you really want a memory of you vindicating a Harry Potter fan to be one of those memories? Is that really what you want out of life?

I wasn't vindicating anyone in specific. If you were spoiling anything else and didn't put spoiler tags in I would have put 'em anyway. You just don't see it much because people arouund here have the decency of using the apropriate tags.

[AlexMax]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007350292,00.html


Headmistress is a Harry Rotter

By JOHN COLES
July 31, 2007

A PRIMARY school head ruined the new Harry Potter book for pupils — by reading out the final page on the last day of term.

Youngsters looking forward to reading the best-seller over the summer holidays were left reeling as Carolyn Banfield gave the game away.

Nine-year-old pupil Louie Swift said: “I don’t know why she read it."

"She’s not usually a spoilsport."

“She didn’t even mention she had the book. She just picked it up and started reading it to us.”

Jordan Ashman, ten, said: “It has spoiled the book for me.”

An 11-year-old boy — whose mum would only name as Joe — said: “Lots of my friends complained about it.

"I put my hands over my ears and squeezed my eyes closed because I didn’t want to know about it.”

Mrs Banfield read the climactic extract from Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows — the final book in JK Rowling’s massively popular series — to more than 400 kids at St John’s C of E school’s end of term assembly in Midsomer Norton, Somerset.

The much-anticipated ending has been the subject of debate among millions of fans.

Mrs Banfield was not available for comment yesterday.

But a spokesman for the local education authority said: “The school was saying goodbye to the children and staff who were leaving.

“A very small passage was carefully chosen to reflect the theme of saying goodbye.

"The school felt this reading would not spoil the children’s enjoyment of the book.”

But Margaret Morrissey, spokeswoman for the National Confederation of Parent Teacher Associations, said: “It was totally unforgivable.

“It’s one of the cruellest things she could have done, even if she didn’t mean it.

“Whether you approve of the Harry Potter phenomenon or not, it has encouraged children to read.

"This act will probably stop all those children reading the book.”

Maria Rogers, whose eight-year-old son Travis goes to the school, agreed.

She said: “He’s read the last three books but there’s no point reading this one now.”

Winner.

[ShadowTiger]

That does very much win.


Aside from the thread's title, I'm really not surprised when I heard that after the book's release, a lot of people I know were doing their best to avoid going online. "I can go on the internet again! :kawaii: " I would hear, and wonder what the big deal was. Now I remember. :rolleyes: