Top 10 Worst Game Intros of All Time

[Warlock]

http://www.gamesradar.com/gb/ds/game/news/article.jsp?releaseId=200601279233640038&articleId=200705041043115099&sectionId=1006&pageId=2007050410838935016

Very funny. The #1 intro is just absolutely excruciating to watch.

But what really made me laugh was this one:
http://www.gamesradar.com/gb/ds/game/news/article.jsp?releaseId=200601279233640038&articleId=200705041043115099&sectionId=1006&pageId=20070504102930843032

I swear to God, remember how after WarCraft II suddenly Blizzard's cinematics got really awesome? (well at least the StarCraft ones) I swear all the WarCraft II cinematic guys went on to make this intro. It's a 2002 game, but the thing looks *EXACTLY* like WarCraft II's cinematics. But the funniest part is just how rambling it is. The narrator sounds like some guy doing a fake imitation of a fantasy narrator (i.e. like the War 2 intro narrator but imagine some random guy trying to immitate it and doing a bad job). And I love the comment about "The rest of the intro plays out like a monologue by the chatty Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from Aqua Teen Hunger Force." haha

Another good one is the FMZzz which is a clip from Warhawk in one of those cheesy 90s live-action FMVs that were so common on Sega CD especially (ex: Night Trap).

[Tygore]

I'm surprised that they went with Faces of Evil as opposed to the more popular Wand of Gamelon for the obligatory CDI Zelda entry that always appears on any gaming "worst of" list, ever. Although I do love how Link is basically saying "I wish Ganon would escape from his current celestial prison and start killing people and stuff, because I'm getting bored."

[Nicholas Steel]

the link in that intro is pretty damn gay, like wtf? look at him ! HE IS GAY ! why in every zelda game after did they have him help a girl? in OoT he has a supposed girl friend named saria.... why? he's gay isn't he?

[Darth Marsden]

It's not canon. Chill out. Yeesh.

[Majora]

the link in that game is pretty damn gay, like wtf? look at him ! HE IS GAY ! why in every zelda game after did they have him help a girl? in OoT he has a supposed girl friend named saria.... why? he's gay isn't he?


Would you have time for a girlfriend if you were busy saving everyone's ass from imminent doom? ;)

[Nicholas Steel]

maybe link wants to join ganon via ganon's rear access port hardy har har.

[Glenn the Great]

I personally think that the Faces of Evil opening is hilariously well done. I don't see why everyone rags on it so much. It's the one redeeming factor of the game IMO.

[DarkDragoonX]

Ikari Warriors 2 was just... oh god. I don't want to think about it.

[King Aquamentus]

hahaha, yes!! I was gonna say something like "What? No Ikari Warriors 2?"

I'm suprised that actually got on there. and in first place!

[Beldaran]

Those were really funny. I'm surprised they didn't include Bad Dudes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKkkpyCVBVI) though. That game used to crack me up.

[Plissken]

-- .- -. .-- .- ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. .- -- .- --.. .. -. --. ...- .. -.. . --- ..--.

Oh sorry couldn't get that morse code out of my head. I can't believe I wasted 4 minutes of my life watching them spell out the word but having to wait for them to actually spell it out in morse code too. Are they trying to substitute for lack of voice acting? Too many bleeps and bloops...

For those of you who really want to know what I said but don't wanna look it up I said, "Man what a fucking amazing video!

[DarkDragoonX]

Those were really funny. I'm surprised they didn't include Bad Dudes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKkkpyCVBVI) though. That game used to crack me up.

I think you're just hating on the game because you aren't a bad enough dude to rescue the president.

[Glenn the Great]

I'm not a bad enough dude to even consider rescuing our current president from ninjas.

[Mitsukara]

I would play an entire choose your own adventure type game in the style of the intro sequences of Link: The Faces of Evil and Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon. For it would surely be badass, and hilarious in completely unintended ways.

Some things are so bad that they're good in a way that was never, ever intended.

*raises fist in triumph* "IGH'M BHCHHHHD!"

Loooooool NES voice samples. But more lolz for morse code, definitely. What the hell were they thinking?...

[Beldaran]

I think you're just hating on the game because you aren't a bad enough dude to rescue the president.

http://www.forrestkyle.com/photos/bd1.jpg


http://www.forrestkyle.com/photos/bd2.jpg


http://www.forrestkyle.com/photos/bd3.jpg

[DarkDragoonX]

I stand corrected, Beldaran. You most certainly ARE a bad enough dude to rescue the president. He even let you hang out with what appears to be the mormon tabernacle choir.

[Nicholas Steel]

oO majoraswrath? i never saw link stab gannon in teh face in that video on that site ! why give me bad rep for me talking about what i saw?

[Beldaran]

I stand corrected, Beldaran. You most certainly ARE a bad enough dude to rescue the president. He even let you hang out with what appears to be the mormon tabernacle choir.

lol

Well, really I'm just a big wuss. I screenshotted a youtube video. :(

[The_Amaster]

Dude. Zero Wing belongs on the top 10 best list, because of it's hilarity.

All ten were great to watch, though.

[Majora]

oO majoraswrath? i never saw link stab gannon in teh face in that video on that site ! why give me bad rep for me talking about what i saw?

I was refering to Ocarina of Time. I was never informed of this "video" of which you speak.

[Nicholas Steel]

well, i am talking about teh 10 worst intro's here, as that is i assume whats meant to happen here in this thread =\

ah well, no harm done.

[Mitsukara]

I'm a bad enough dude to rescue the president with savestates. The final boss was easier than most of the previous bosses.

...but don't bother. Gerald Ford's burger biting antics (notice that he has the burger, not the bad dude of your choice) are very amusing but if you can find a video elsewhere, it's better to do so.

The one cool thing to be found by actually playing the game is the music in the second level. Reminds me a bit of Dracula X/Rondo of Blood's "Opposing Bloodlines", Richter Belmont's theme.

[Glenn the Great]

I'm sort of curious about the Bad Dudes President's identity though. I read that in the original version of the game for the arcades, he was referred to as Ronnie (Ronald Reagan), but for the console version, Ronnie was changed to President, and the images of Ronnie (which looked like Reagan) were changed to what was supposed to be a generic president (the one seen in Beld's pics), due to Nintendo not wanting to publish an overtly political game. I've heard people compare the Nintendo version President to either Ford or HW Bush. I guess he's not supposed to be either.

Now, I might not be bad enough to rescue George W Bush if this game happened today, but we'd be hard pressed to find someone who isn't bad enough to rescue Bill Clinton.

http://gershkuntzman.homestead.com/files/Bill_s_Burgers.htm

[Tygore]

The problem with making the President Ronnie is that Reagan is a bad enough dude to save himself. (http://www.superdickery.com/oneshot/44.html)