The Immaculate Reception

[Beldaran]

Let me preface this little story by informing you that I keep my bath towels in my bathroom cupboard and my bathroom cupboard is above my toilet. (nice design there, Mr. Architect)

Some men make epic, game winning receptions in the Super Bowl, and some make them in the most innocuous places and circumstances. Take, for instance, me. I enter the bathroom to perform a liquid waste removal operation. I complete the operation and just as I'm about to flush the toilet, I notice that the cupboad is slightly open. Curious, I open it.

It turns out that the reason the cupboard was slightly open is because one of my folded towels had fallen off the shelf and was pushing on the door. When I opened the door, the towel plummeted like a deadly bomb towards the small lake of unnecessary minerals and celluar by-products which I had just recently evacuated.

Like a ninja defending his shogun, I strike out with calm urgency and a sense of quiet dread. My hand races through the stagnant bathroom air like a bullet. Perhaps if I had taken more time to notice, I might have heard a faint whistling sound; the whoosh of too much matter passing too quickly through too much air.

My fingers clasp around the towel, interrupting its kamakaze dive towards what would have been an unpleasant splash, to say the least. The towel struggles briefly, angered at being foiled by its master. However, I am victorious, for as I look down I see that the tip of the towel hangs only inches away from doom.

I have saved myself from an undesirable load of laundry with my mystical ninja skills. My kung fu is strong.

[ShadowTiger]

* You Have gained +50 awesome points.

I will call you master, and offer you six silver and fifty copper to learn your mysterious ways sir.

[Beldaran]

First you must go to the barrens and bring me 20 heads of people who tell chuck norris jokes.

[mrz84]

Wow. That's kinda cool. :kitty:

[Glenn the Great]

* You Have gained +50 awesome points.

I will call you master, and offer you six silver and fifty copper to learn your mysterious ways sir.

Less than 7 silver for Beldaran's ways? That's an insult!

*laughs at ST's lowbie view of monetary value*

[Aegix Drakan]

...

wow.

:P pretty awesome reflexes you got there Beldaran.

[ShadowTiger]

Less than 7 silver for Beldaran's ways? That's an insult!

*laughs at ST's lowbie view of monetary value*

My rogue just started. I got her to L6 in an hour, and went on a trek to find herbs hidden under wolfbutts and owls. My rogue will make excellent use of Beldaran's towelcatching abilities, if only she had the money for it.

[AtmaWeapon]

Luckily you had finished the waste disposal or you would have been in the lose/lose situation of choosing between saving the towel from soaking up materials better left unsoaked or losing control of the waste disposal apparatus and adding spill cleanup to the normally easy waste disposal process.

I've been in this situation before and it is amazing how much utilitarian analysis you can do in the brief moments it takes a towel to fall 5 feet. Why does anyone think "above the toilet" is a good position for storage of anything?

[ONeilcool]

Why does anyone think "above the toilet" is a good position for storage of anything?

I think if you were ever in the need to store something you expect to get really disgusting really fast it could come in handy. Or maybe a place to keep your goldfish? I'm sure there are many unknown uses for above the toilet storage.

[Glenn the Great]

I would suggest storing large quantities of potassium there.

[Pineconn]

Or like, y'know, a window. But not towels. No.

[Darth Marsden]

Bows head in honour of Beldaran's leet ninja skills

You would make a fine Sith.

[AtmaWeapon]

I would suggest storing large quantities of potassium there.THIS THIS DO THIS FOR SCIENCE!!!! http://www.atmaweapon.org/images/emot/eng101.gif Also film it please!

[Beldaran]

haha ironically I'm doing chemistry homework right now so I know how funny that joke is. :)

[Pineconn]

Nice unintended pun:


haha ironically I'm doing chemistry homework right now so I know how funny that joke is. :)

Iron. An element. Chemistry. ;)

[Dragon Omega]

...Why would anyone put a window anywhere NEAR where you "do your business?" :mischief:

[Glenn the Great]

...Why would anyone put a window anywhere NEAR where you "do your business?" :mischief:

One of the bathrooms in my house has a window right above and behind the toilet. I have made sure to sunscreen, blind, and curtain it.

[Dragon Omega]

I used to live in a house that had one too, but I kept thinking "THE F*CK?"
:mischief:

[Pineconn]

You really like the :mischief: emoticon, don't you?

Well, yeah, my cousin's house has a window right next to the toilet. And it's on the first floor.

[Glenn the Great]

You really like the :mischief: emoticon, don't you?

Well, yeah, my cousin's house has a window right next to the toilet. And it's on the first floor.

The architects who design such houses are peeping perverts. They have to think about that when they decide to put a window there on the blueprints. Maybe if I look carefully, I can pick out other perverted aspects of my house's design.

[mrz84]

One thing I've noticed about all the bathrooms in all the houses I've ever lived in is that there was either a bathroom or a door right next to the tiolet. Creepy. Just freaking creepy. And yes, DO loves the :mischief: smilie, because he's evil. Seriously.

[Darth Marsden]

We've got a similar window, but it comes in handy, especially after my father uses it late at night. Saints alive, the U bend does nothing with him around.

Also, one time I locked myself out of the house, so I climbed up the back of the house, scrambled over the roof and came in through said window. To this day, I cannot believe I actually did that.

[The_Amaster]

....Yeah, thats true, thinking about it. There always is a window or whatever right next to the toilet. Whose bright idea is that?

[biggiy05]

....Yeah, thats true, thinking about it. There always is a window or whatever right next to the toilet. Whose bright idea is that?

Someone who wants to enjoy the scenery while painting the town brown.

[Pineconn]

I need extreme concentration when I defecate. The colorful scenery only throws me off-balance.