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bluedeath
01-02-2007, 02:35 PM
Over 100 Ways To Annoy People At Wal-Mart




"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps you out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around Christmas time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if you can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies!
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Bring a friend and get in a shopping cart. Have them push you around while you yell "ye-haw!"
Buy chrome hubcaps and put them on in the parking lot
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Constantly wink at a person you don't know. Follow them around and blow kisses to them.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
Do all of these above without getting thrown out! Contributed
Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
Dress as a Jedi and randomly tell other shoppers in you're best Yoda voice,"May the force be with you".
Everytime you walk out the door (or try waiting by the door for others to walk out), make a dinging noise then say mechanically "We're sorry. You have activated the Wal Mart inventory control service. Please step back and a Wal Mart associate will help you. Thank you."
Fill your shopping cart with matchbooks and gasoline and walk around smiling at people.
Find a parent with her kid in the shopping cart. Point at the kid and ask the parent, "What aisle are they selling these on?"
Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
Gather a bunch of bouncy balls and bounce them into neighboring aisles.
Get 20 people together and play hide-n-go-seek.
Get a dish towel and bucket and sit on the floor singing "It's a hard knock life for us!"
Get a friend, put on as many articles of clothing you can find and start sumo wrestling (use diapers if possible) .
Get a group of friends together and take lawn chairs from the display then rewind the movie playing on the display TV in electronics, sit down and watch the entire thing.
Get one of those fake dogs that barks/sings, place it on the ground in front of a group of people and press the button to make it sing/bark. Then proceed to bark and growl like you are going to attack it
Go into the dressing room and yell real loud... “Hey, we’re out of toilet paper in here!”
Go to the express lane and get an item, and say "wait, I forgot something, and keep doing that until you have like 50, check out, then say "thanks, I forgot how much this costs," and walk away.
Go to the video game section and play one of the games for a minute the throw down the controller and start to bang on the display case when an attendant asks u what u are doing tell him your trying to change the game.
Go up to a guy and start crying saying I finally found you mommy! And see what he does!
Go up to someone and start taking items from their basket and put them into yours.
Go up to the clerk and say code Red! and see what they do! (I know it will work I did it.)
Grab handfulls of super bounce balls and go wild.
have a couple of friends go with you and dress up as power rangers. Battle the invisible enemy and tell shoppers to stand back.
Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “Pick me! Pick me!!”
hide in the toy section, when someone comes close jump out at them throw a ball and yell "Pikachu I choose you!"
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
Joust with the electronic assist carts and wrapping paper (they usually won't throw you out)
Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms.
Make farting noises as you walk by someone.
Make the entire auto department smell by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
Page yourself and then after the employee says your name, say...“Oh that's me, I've got to go. Thank you.”
Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
Play "Marco Polo."
Play blind chicken with 12 friends putting a blind fold on one and them having that person trying to find you .
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
Play with the automatic doors.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
Pour bubble bath into the fountains in the garden section.
Put M&M's on layaway.
Put random items in the shopping carts of others while they aren't looking.
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
"Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
Repeat whatever the store clerk tells you.
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
roll cans of soup down the aisles.
run around the store yelling I'm a princess while holding a toy wand.
Run around yelling for your pet ferret "Stinky". check out all the funny looks you get!
Run up to a complete stranger and say "You're it!"
Run up to a new employee in the pet aisle and point to an invisible cash register and say "Hey you! That cash register over there, well um, I think it's magic! It made my little sister (or brother if you have one) disappear!" Wait and see what they say and the expression on their face.
Sample all the fragrances in the perfume department.
Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
Set up a battle of laser tag .
Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
set up like ten pineapples in the shape of bowling pins and start bowling with a coconut.
Shoot the bungee tops at customers.
Start Humming the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Theme song. Whenever someone looks at an item near you scream "TUTLE POWER" and run away as fast as you can.
Strategically scatter those novelty dog poops throughout the store and wait for some to announce "cleanup on aisle ..." then yell "BAD FLUFFY!"
Switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the restroom.
Take a snickers bar, go in the bathroom and smoosh the snickers bar in your hand and reach over to the next stall and say "uh do you have some toilet paper over there?"
Take all of the free AOL cd's on the end of the check out counter Contributed by Keith
Take bets on the battle described above.
Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
Throw as many shoes as possible onto the floor in as little time as you can.
TP as much of the store as possible.
Try to fly on a broom. If anyone asks what you are doing tell them in a very annoyed voice, "the brooms don't work!"
Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
Unload then entire bin of giant bouncy balls, get in the bin, have a friend put all the balls back on top of you. When someone walks by jump outta the balls causing them to fly everywhere.
Walk about 10 centimeters in front of a moving shopping cart and yell "Its gonna get me!"
walk around in rubber boots , a rain coat, and an umbrella on bright sunny day!
Walk through the store pushing a cart that is upside-down.
Walk up and down yelling mommy , mommy then keep saying out loud have you seen my mommy I'm lost and I cant find her.
Walk up to a person and say I'm the FBI and I heard that you have been shopelifting and we need to check you.
Walk up to an employee and ask where the laxatives are, changing your voice as if you really need it.
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
Walk up to the automatic doors and walk back and forth through them and each time u go though look up at the sensor and yell "how does it work or ITS MAGIC!"
When a woman with children walks near you in the toy aisle, throw yourself on the floor, screaming "mommy, I want that toy"
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
when someone steps away from their cart to look at something quickly make off with it without saying a word.
When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
when the speaker/pager deal comes on start mimicking them.
When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
While playing a video game in the Electronics, skip side-by-side, wiggle your butt, and hum to the music. Contributed by MOOSE!!!!
While walking alone pretend you are have a serious conversation with someone.
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crud, anyway?"

beefster09
01-02-2007, 06:12 PM
A Hundred Ways to order a pizza
Note: I found this at Gaming World

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use Chat Board lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST, FREE-SPIRITED, COST-EFFICIENT, UKRAINIAN, and PUCE.

11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.

13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

15. Stutter on the letter "p."

16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for garlic butter and a jalepeno)

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

23. Change your accent every three seconds.

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

28. Rent a pizza.

29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.

30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

36. Imitate the order taker's voice.

37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

39. Play a sitar in the background.

40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

42. Ask to see a menu.

43. Quote Carl Sandberg.

44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.

45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"

50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.

58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

62. Try to talk while drinking something.

63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. .. action!"

64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

66. Be vague in your order.

67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.

75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gopher.

79. Put them on hold.

80. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

84. When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

85. Haggle.

86. Order a one-inch pizza.

87. Order term life insurance.

88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.

90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

92. Engage in some serious swapping.

93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

97. Order a steamed pizza.

98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.

99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.

If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker,

100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."

bluedeath
01-03-2007, 11:32 AM
249 ways to annoy people






1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4.Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.

13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.

16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.

18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.

21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.

22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."

24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

26. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.

28. Ask people what gender they are.

29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

36. Wear a lot of cologne.

37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

38. Sing along at the opera.

39. Mow your lawn with scissors.

40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!"

41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

43. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

46. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

51. Practice making fax and modem noises.

52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.

53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

54. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

55. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

56. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

57. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

58. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

59. Honk and wave to strangers.

60. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

61. type only in lowercase.

62. dont use any punctuation either

63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

64. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

65. Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can, over and over and over..

66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.

67. Drum on every available surface.

68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

69. Set alarms for random times.

70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.."

71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.

73. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

74. Wear your pants backwards.

75. Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"

76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music."

77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.

78. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

80. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

81. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

82. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

83. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

84. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

85. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

86. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.

87. Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along.

88. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

89. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk into it.

90. Drive half a block.

91. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

92. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl.

93. "Forget" the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

94. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

95. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

96. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

97. Ask to "interface" with someone.

98. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."

99. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

100. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.

101. Never make eye contact.

102. Never break eye contact.

103. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results.

104. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

105. Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice.

106. Say "okay, you're gay" to anything someone says.

107. As people talk, smell their shoulders.

108. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention."

109. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?"

110. Place your shoes on the table.

111. When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right.

112. When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me, but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off."

113. Switch your neighbor's lawn furniture with someone else's.

114. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.

115. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips.

116. Sample every flavor of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don't like about each one.

117. Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off.

118. Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still President.

119. Speak in a strong Welsh accent.

120. Wear odd shoes.

121. Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly.

122. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.

123. Throw stones at people walking past your house.

124. Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds.

125. Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles.

126. Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke.

127. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening.

128. Spend an entire weekend pretending you are R2-D2.

129. Phone random numbers and tell them you are holding their daughter hostage.

130. Recite the first 4,000 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, too.

131. Pretend you have gone completely deaf.

132. .sdrawkcab etirW

133. Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food.

134. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it.

135. Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants.

136. Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the neighbors ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked me to turn it up!

137. Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say.

138. Drive on the wrong side of the road.

139. Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who has a piano. Claim you've never played before then play Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda be a natural."

140. Go canoeing and sing the Hawaii Five-0 theme.

141. Claim that until recently, you thought Michael Jackson was a woman.

142. Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot.

143. Go to a Metallica concert wearing a Michael Bolton T-Shirt.

144. Tell everyone you are Bill Clinton's cousin.

145. Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.

146. Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90%.

147. Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly.

148. Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R.

149. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the."

150. Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started.

151. Ride a unicycle to work.

152. E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows XP that aren't actually there.

153. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat.

154. Continuously mumble during a conversation.

155. Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house, or better yet, someone else's house.

156. When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly.

157. Insist on "Weird Al" sing-a-longs.

158. On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns.

159. When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.

160. Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling.

161. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the restaurant.

162. When walking, talk to yourself constantly.

163. Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking.

164. Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."

165. Go to a gumball machine insert coins until you have a matching pair of fake eyeballs. After attaining these, record the theme song of The Twilight Zone over and over again. Drive down the street wearing the eyeballs and playing The Twilight Zone theme very loud. When you get pulled over, leap into the passenger's seat and claim, "He was here a minute ago, officer!"

166. On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Have each of you stand a mile apart on a highway.

167. After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles.

168. Push a raisin into someone's cream-filled donut. (I don't get this one.)

169. Spread fertilizer on half your neighbor's lawn.

170. Add A535 (liquid heat) to that little hole down the center of someone's anti-perspirant.

171.

172.

173. Add blank entries to lists, to make it look like it's longer.

174. Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonald's.

175. Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn.

176. Throw newspapers back at paperboys.

177. Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweat pants.

178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.

179. At random times in a conversation, say "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you."

180. Put electrical tape over the headlights of someone's car.

181. Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family.

182. Dress like a "High-class rich person" and wash windows at random street corners. Demand a dollar in a British accent.

183. When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it's raining.

184. In an office, lock all the doors behind you.

185. Face the back when standing in an elevator.

186. Grin so wide it hurts your cheeks at every salesperson in town.

187. When at an ATM, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there's a line.)

188. Unbend all the paperclips you can find, then replace every eraser you can find with a rubber band.

189. Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")

190. Sharpen All your pencils to the same size EXACTLY.

191. Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".

192. Pose as a client at a bank or other professional institution, and when you are seated in front of their desk, keep rearranging the items on top into different patterns and tell them you are "just reorganizing things."

193. Instead of singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, sing 999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall!

194. Call every girl you know "dude".

195. Recite every song from the Playstation games PaRappa the Rapper and Um Jammer Lammy.

196. Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is "Just better quality"

197. Press the "power" button on on someone's computer or keyboard when they're almost finished typing up a long essay, story etc. Apologize sincerely, claiming that you thought it was the focus adjustment.

198. Call 911 and breathe heavily.

199. Take a shower. Feel guilty. Give it back.

200. Mow your carpet. (Or preferably somebody else's)

201. Vacuum your lawn. (See note on 200)

202. Recite shakespearian poetry to everyone you meet.

203. Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper.

204. Order a pizza and ask them if they can "please put the crust on top this time" in an exasperated voice.

205. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"

206. When in an elevator, in different voices, shout out random floors, and then watch as you get there, no one gets off.

207. Also, when riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, "Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?"

208. While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears).

209. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.

210. Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly.

211. Finish each sentence with "Monkey See, Monkey Do".

212. Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school.

213. Pretend you are invisible.

214. Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language.

215. Spend all day at a fast food restaurant and see how long it takes before you have to pay for your "free" refills.

216. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"

217. While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" for no apparent reason.

218. Call everyone a communist.

219. Explain "the little green men" in detail to someone, and when they don't believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise.

220.. Call your neighbors collect.

221. Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?"

222. Page yourself over an intercom, but don't disguise your voice.

223. Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle.

224. When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises.

225. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?"

226. Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.

227. Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew I had this!"

228. While driving if you see a "How am I driving" bumper sticker, call the number and inform the operator that the driver is doing a great job.

229. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you.

230. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you.

231. Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know."

232. Sending this list to all of your friends through email.

233. Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over.

234. Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly.

235. Begin every sentence with, "By the Gods!"

236. When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!".

237. When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial.

238. At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!"

239. Go to a shoe store and try on every shoe, then say that you aren't interested in buying shoes and leave.

240. Put powdered sugar in your hair, sit down next to a stranger, and scratch your head a lot.

241. Turn on the Talk Radio Stations in your car, roll down your windows, and headbang.

242. Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers "I must avenge the death of my father."

243. Scotch tape your door as an Anti-theft Device.

244. Super Glue quarters to floors.

245. Put the wrong date and year on the papers you hand in to your teachers.

246. Call random numbers and say "Hi, this is Julie from Basken Robins. If you can name 31 flavors in 31 seconds you get a free scoop."

247. WRIGHT N AL CAPITOL LETERS AND MISSSSSPEL EVRYTHIND!!!

248. Get two cell phones and talk to yourself on them in front of other people.

249. Make a loud and abrupt noise when nobody is looking, then face the other direction when everybody looks your way, pretending the sound came from behind you. (Thanks Alex)