The darn pants bulge. [Archive] - Armageddon Games Forums

ShadowTiger

06-20-2006, 10:16 PM

No. This topic is NOT an ASWGL topic.
Get your head out of the gutter lol.

You put on a pair of pants. You look down and see a bulge around the upper crotch area. You try to pat it down but it just comes right back up again. You don't want to walk around like that out of the obvious fear of being seen with a bulge in that area. So perhaps you decide to wear a belt and stretch that area of your pants out to smoothen the surface. Now you're stuck wearing a belt

Pants cheese me off sometimes. I hate not wearing them, but they're also very inconvenient at times. It's like you're screwed no matter what you do. x X. *lol* It's just one of those things that you have to live with, I guess.

But if you could manage it, how would you tend to all these little nuisances, aside from just streaking out of your house?

Daarkseid

06-20-2006, 10:30 PM

The kinda khakis I wear have that sort of bulge, but it doesn't seem to bother me too much.

moocow

06-20-2006, 10:54 PM

I have a pair of pants that do that. They're a little too big on me, which I assume is the reason I get the cock bulge. I call it that because when I wear those pants I look like I have a cock.

Obviously.

{DSG}DarkRaven

06-20-2006, 11:04 PM

I just don't care. Really, if you're that embarassed by it, you probably shouldn't go out in public. It happens to everyone. Besides, since when has a guy ever complained about drawing attention to his genitals? It may not be the best attention, but there are worse places to stand out.

No pun intended.

Mitsukara

06-20-2006, 11:57 PM

Yep, I know exactly what you mean. It's annoying and horrible. It's like they put ten miles of uneccesary fabric there, like they expect something about 13 inches long to occupy the space.

My "solution" is kinda lame though; I just pull the pants up (about belly-button height) and sorta pat it down and it mostly goes away, until I sit down of course. I just sort of try to fix it every once in a while and be glad my shirt is long enough to kinda cover it up.

Just one more reason to <3 skirts, I think.

Glitch

06-20-2006, 11:58 PM

Put a sock in your pants.

No funny looking empty space bulge and the ladies think you're packin'. Win-Win.

Toolie

06-21-2006, 12:13 AM

Pants cheese me off sometimes.

Are you real?

Lilith

06-21-2006, 03:31 AM

I used to have a pair of jeans that did that (actually most jeans would...woo@skinnyness) but I just hoped everyone would understand the pants bulge situation and not think I'm a d00d.

Darth Marsden

06-21-2006, 06:17 AM

Most of my jeans are a tad too small, so I don't get that problem. On the down side, it does make them somewhat tricky to get into, but meh.

moocow

06-21-2006, 09:14 AM

Put a sock in your pants.

No funny looking empty space bulge and the ladies think you're packin'. Win-Win.

I'm not turned on by guys who are packin so much that I can see the bulge in their pants. To be honest, that just terrifies me.

Lilith

06-21-2006, 09:48 AM

I'm not turned on by guys who are packin so much that I can see the bulge in their pants. To be honest, that just terrifies me.

Yeah, that's a little "ummm bye". I don't get why guys think it's sexy. It's not the same thing as boobs.

Dechipher

06-21-2006, 10:40 AM

When I was younger I hated that shit so I'd always wear longer shirts to kinda cover the bulge.

But I'm over it now, everyone has the same problem, so who cares?

Archibaldo

06-21-2006, 10:47 AM

I find it only really happends to me when I'm sitting down, so I try to flatten it out and hang a shirt over it or something. But yeah, it's a little embarassing, but when I stand up, I just straighten out my pants and it goes away. Until I sit back down.

Cloral

06-21-2006, 12:51 PM

Yeah I've never had it happen except when sitting down. As Decipher suggested though, a long untucked shirt hides that sort of thing nicely. It even works when there is something in the bulge.

Dechipher

06-21-2006, 01:44 PM

Yeah I've never had it happen except when sitting down. As Dechipher suggested though, a long untucked shirt hides that sort of thing nicely. It even works when there is something in the bulge.
Fuck that. I just sit there until it sort of goes away :D

Toolie

06-21-2006, 07:21 PM

Are you guys that insecure? Anyone who sees such a pants-induced protrusion obviously knows what's going on. What are they, going to laugh and accuse you of having an erection in public? And if so, who looks like more of an idiot? Jeez guys. Don't give a fuck, please.

Dechipher

06-21-2006, 07:31 PM

The last thing you want to do is unload a truck of equipment with a boner, especially around a bunch of little junior high kids.

moocow

06-21-2006, 07:36 PM

ShadowTiger

06-21-2006, 07:39 PM

@ Dechipher, moo, & Similar Posts: Exactly. You have no idea how many times I've seen people in High School (People who are 15-18 years old. Not some immature little 9-13 year old.) point at some guy's crotch and go "Eeewwwww, what the hell!!??!! Pervert!"

A little off topic, (But not THAT far off of it ... ) one of the reasons pants "cheese me off," is due to a few reasons:

1) When you put your foot into a pants leg, your toenails can easy get caught in the cuff at the end. It's a similar action to putting your arm through a suit jacket sleeve while wearing a wristwatch. Far too easy to get caught.

2) The zipper can do very, very ackward things to a man's anatomy. If it finds its way to pointing upward while you're in front of any given urinal, you know exactly what rests on top of it. If you don't, lucky you.

Not like I want to abolish pants or anything. :p Just presently looking into alternatives to these precise situations. Perhaps upending the cuffs before putting your leg into the pants. Hm.

Beldaran

06-21-2006, 07:44 PM

I'm with Toolie. I have never given a fuck whatsoever about what my pants look like. If someone wants to accuse me of having a potruding dick, I'll just thank them for admiring my cock and then ask why they are so interested in it.

Trust me, no one in High School really cares about your crotch. At All. They are just so insecure about their own myriad of imaginary problems that they have to invent reasons to laugh at other people. I say wear your artificial erection pants and wear them with pride. If anyone says anything, just stand up straight and say, "Why are you so interested my package? Are you queer?"

Aegix Drakan

06-21-2006, 07:54 PM

Trust me BH4, no one in High School really cares about your crotch. At All. They are just so insecure about their own myriad of imaginary problems that they have to invent reasons to laugh at other people. I say wear your artificial erection pants and wear them with pride. If anyone says anything, just stand up straight and say, "Why are you so interested my package? Are you queer?"

dude, I went to an all-boy private high school for five years. It was like being in a building with a bunch of horny gorillas. many of the guys were so immature, and so stupid (one guy I knew got expelled for selling "mushrooms" in the LOCKER ROOM)that I was shocked they made it into the school. seriously. one pants bulge and they'd go all "WTFBBQ!!! look!!! <inertname here> is getting a boner!!!" I was the least sex-inclined guy there, and I was the guy they bugged the most.

>_< not pleasant. not at all.

erm2003

06-21-2006, 08:03 PM

Well, there are some high school students who will notice. I hear what my students say on a daily basis, and believe me, they notice. A couple girls in one of my classes were laughing hysterically after class once day because they saw something, thankfully not going into any details. So people will notice to a point, but most won't be looking for it.

BTW, congrats on the user name change ST. That should keep the confusion down!

ShadowTiger

06-21-2006, 08:20 PM

Thanks erm, I appreciate the thought. :) It's exactly what I was going for. This was the last place I was known as bh4. No AIM name or other form of contact I frequent. Huzzah!

I'm grateful that I'm no longer in High School. People in college are much, much more understanding and open minded (Wise, in other words.) than those in High School. Of course, it's also a matter of presentation. Having a stain on your clothes is something minor, but it's something people seem to be concerned about for some reason. Same for wearing somewhat musty clothing. You'd rather smelling better than not, right? etc.

Toolie

06-21-2006, 09:43 PM

You're probably just a pussy who cares too much about what others think and say because you're convinced you suck. Which may or may not be true.

Dude, who cares? You know the guys who shrug shit off like that, you know what they get? Laid. Grow some balls to fill that fake bulge.

ShadowTiger

06-21-2006, 11:34 PM

.. :odd: ... While I'm sure some sort of inspirational proverb can be found somewhere in your words, Mike, I just don't see GB around to put your first sentence in. Play nice with the people who want to have fun without calling each other pussies. ... ... ... ... Yeah, you're right, that does sound lame. *lol* Okay, insult whoever you want. I'm sure they won't care because they're all just pussies or fighters. Fun stuff, eh?

The simple fact is, no matter what spin you place on it, the results of a pants bulge are an illusion. They're more "real" to some than for others, but the effects are very real. They're evident when you see people laugh at some poor unfortunate guy who got stuck with a pants bulge, and you see the effects when they ignore the pants bulge, or when they don't see it at all. There is no "pussy" in reality outside of your opinions of a man's security. If someone notices bad breath, that's under your control as well. There is simply no "pussy."

... ... ... Wait, what am I doing. I'm arguing about pants. Wow. I'm going to go get myself a nice volunteer position at a Physical Therapy place. That'll fill some good ol' pantsvoid. BRB.

Toolie

06-22-2006, 12:32 AM

Dude, what are you doing? You're bitching and whining that people are being morons and picking on you. You think I was never picked on? News flash, everyone is. Everyone has morons who will say stupid shit to get their jollies. If you don't learn to let this thing slide... well, then you'll end up some loser who goes online to a forum to make whiney topics about it.

Seriously man, don't care. By letting yourself worry about shit like this, you're only giving the people who get their simple kicks from this more firepower to work with. Fuck it. As I said before, grow a pair man. You're not in 7th grade anymore, stop acting like it.

Dechipher

06-22-2006, 12:47 AM

Toolie

06-22-2006, 12:52 AM

I just saw Saget in the documentary "The Aristocrats".

I'll never look at him again. I can only dream of being so filthy.

Breaker

06-22-2006, 01:39 AM

Hahahahah Toolie. Hahahhahahaha. How Do You Like That? Do You Like The Hahahaha? Bitch. Ok Then. I think we know who owned who here.

punkonjunk1024

06-22-2006, 04:09 AM

I HATE THE FUCKING BULGE. My solution? I don't wear underwear most of the time. *shrug*

biggiy05

06-22-2006, 10:59 AM

I HATE THE FUCKING BULGE. My solution? I don't wear underwear most of the time. *shrug*

Dear god please tell me you're wearing something when you go prancing around in a skirt.

moocow

06-22-2006, 11:04 AM

My pants bulge is itchy :(

Sir_Johnamus

06-22-2006, 11:26 AM

You're bitching and whining that people are being morons and picking on you. You think I was never picked on? News flash, everyone is. Everyone has morons who will say stupid shit to get their jollies.
Me for instance. I just suck it up and ignore it.

Anyways, the bulge can be gotten rid of by just ironing over it a few times. Once I hit another growth spurt, the pants I then wore didn't have a bulge anymore(30x36).

Lilith

06-23-2006, 01:31 AM

I just saw Saget in the documentary "The Aristocrats".

I'll never look at him again. I can only dream of being so filthy.

I'm dreaming of that right now anDO NOT WANT

Kry

06-23-2006, 01:56 AM

:( I'm a 32/34... I feel so fat. I am fat... but that's not the point.

erm2003

06-23-2006, 06:20 AM

:( I'm a 32/34... I feel so fat. I am fat... but that's not the point.

You're kidding right? I'm not sharing my numbers then!

Toolie

06-23-2006, 10:08 AM

I'm 32/30 and weigh 175? How the hell can you feel "fat" if your legs are even longer?

{DSG}DarkRaven

06-23-2006, 05:34 PM

I'm a 32/32, and I weight around 170, which according to most nutritionists and available materials, is right within the range of where I should be for someone at a height of 6'0".

Here, just one quick search on Google revealed this: http://www.inch-aweigh.com/bmi.htm

Just add in your weight and height, and it will calculate your body mass index (which honestly, I forget exactly what that is at the moment). More importantly, below you will find a chart for men and a chart for women that will tell you based on weight and height if you are overweight or not. Be aware that there are more factors to consider than just these two, but on average, it's a decent benchmark.

Daarkseid

06-23-2006, 06:47 PM

Hah hah, my BMI reads: Desirable

Hilarious.

Sir_Johnamus

06-23-2006, 08:10 PM

My Bmi says underweight. Totally plausible.
Offtopic: Sorry if I am late, but happy 9000th post!

Kry

06-24-2006, 12:17 AM

:( I'm a 32/34... I feel so fat. I am fat... but that's not the point.

Oh, my mistake in typing. I ment that I'm a 32 OR a 34 depending on what I can fit in to. I'm not sure on my leg length.

Golden Warrior

06-25-2006, 02:16 AM

How is a 32-34 waist fat?

Currently I'm 34/34 and that's from comming down from a waist 40.

As for the common bulge, I saw people's concerns about it but I don't see what the big deal is. If you're conscious about it and think about it, and try to hide it, people will tend to notice it more than if you just ignored it. If it really bothers you, try different pants or different cuts.