ShadowTiger
04-10-2006, 11:27 AM
Little advice:
Many of us however simply do not know how to behave and what to say or not to say under these circumstances and often we end up saying things that instead of bringing relief increase the pain of the family.
Having thought about it, I take the liberty to bring to the attention of all of us a number of important points of behaviour during a funeral or visitation to the family of the deceased.
1) Wait for the person(s) who is related to the deceased to start the conversation.
2) Do not try to "find out what happened"
3) Never offer an opinion as to what else could have or should have been done to save the person.
4) Do not say to the ones visitation that "this is God's will" we and the bereaved know that, instead show pain and share the sorrow. It is said of one of the experienced mourners of a funeral service used to go to the deceased's house, sit down, and cry for twenty minutes (to show support) and then leave without saying one word. He would repeat this every day once during the entire sitting.
5) We should all remember, we make the visitation call not that we should feel better, but that we are supposed to make them feel better.
6) If one is in doubt whether to say or not to say something, always choose to say nothing! Your mere presence alone means more to them than anything you could say.
Many of us however simply do not know how to behave and what to say or not to say under these circumstances and often we end up saying things that instead of bringing relief increase the pain of the family.
Having thought about it, I take the liberty to bring to the attention of all of us a number of important points of behaviour during a funeral or visitation to the family of the deceased.
1) Wait for the person(s) who is related to the deceased to start the conversation.
2) Do not try to "find out what happened"
3) Never offer an opinion as to what else could have or should have been done to save the person.
4) Do not say to the ones visitation that "this is God's will" we and the bereaved know that, instead show pain and share the sorrow. It is said of one of the experienced mourners of a funeral service used to go to the deceased's house, sit down, and cry for twenty minutes (to show support) and then leave without saying one word. He would repeat this every day once during the entire sitting.
5) We should all remember, we make the visitation call not that we should feel better, but that we are supposed to make them feel better.
6) If one is in doubt whether to say or not to say something, always choose to say nothing! Your mere presence alone means more to them than anything you could say.