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View Full Version : Heree's something for all you evil guys out there!



Aegix Drakan
03-22-2006, 10:41 AM
A friend sent me this a while ago. It's the 100+ things to do if you become an evil overlord! It's kinda long so just download it (word format) right Here (http://www.geocities.com/absoldragon/BeinganEvilOverlord.doc)

Here is a taster!


1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

Enjoy!

ShadowTiger
03-22-2006, 10:59 AM
All supervillains should be snipers. They shoot first, and ask questions later. :p Try to invade a fortress when you're dead. Sort of difficult.

koopa
03-22-2006, 11:58 AM
ROFL. I'm still reading it through, but I can confidently say that I've rarely laughed so much. XD, Aegix.

Aegix Drakan
03-22-2006, 12:10 PM
;) You are quite welcome Koopa!

As a side note: ALL WANNABE HEROES! READ IT! that way, if your nemesis has read it, you'll know how to beat them! XD

Darth Marsden
03-22-2006, 12:23 PM
I read this a great while ago. If I recall, there's some repetition in the 80s and 90s. Still, damn good read.

algam86
03-22-2006, 04:35 PM
Huh...Somebody brought a copy of this to school...I think it was Monday. But I didn't get a chance to read it. *goes and reads it*

mrz84
03-22-2006, 04:46 PM
DO would get a kcik outta this...if he decided to log on once in a while that is... :shrug:

Dracula
03-22-2006, 08:01 PM
*takes notes*

...the next Belmont will crap his pants when he gets a load of this. :rolleyes:

slothman
03-22-2006, 08:57 PM
There is also a "things you wouldn't know unless you watched the movies," or something like that.
It talking about all windows in Paris being able to see the Eifel Towel and the fact that beds have L-shaped covers to cover up women but not men.
I think it would be cool to make a movie with all those in it just to be fun.