Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

[Glitch]

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

Contributing: Annie Sweeney

[email protected]

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html



rofl.

[ShadowTiger]

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.Heh; I like this line. It seems so out of place, particularly since they had already mentioned that he had thrown his penis.

It reminds me of that episode of the Simpsons where Homer builds a little robot. He activates it, and it sparks, crashes, burns, freezes, then throws its own head at Homer before dying completely. This man threw his own penis at the officers who confronted him. Cause?
He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.Cause. A petty one, but hey, you know what love can do to you. :p

[VT_Hokie_Fan]

lol. But who hasn't thrown their severed penis at someone?

[koopa]

Suggestion: don't put it back on him. Present him with a nice Darwin Award instead.

What a loser.

[biggiy05]

Are you really that bored at work man? I really wonder if you need some help or just a life.

No way I would ever cut mine off just to throw it at police.

[moocow]

Ahahaha, that is fucking hilarious.

And sad.

Ahahahahahahaha

[Aegix Drakan]

:odd: WHAT. THE. F###.

Give him a nice padded cell ASAP.

[Dechipher]

Darwin Awards are only for those who die.


You think this is funny, wait til he wins a lawsuit against the cops.

[gdorf]

One can only hope he lost the ability to reproduce in the process. :shrug:

[me2]

Meh, those officers had it coming.

[erm2003]

Darwin Awards aren't just for those who die, but for anyone who eliminates themselves from the gene pool. They could still be living, but not reproduce. And this is an example of someone who should never be given the opportunity to. Nice story.

[P4T12!CK]

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon...

It's hard to believe that there are other people who severed their own penis...

[SeirraMist]

Now thats desperate... Why the penis though?? I mean hell, cut off youre fingers first... That had to hurt. A LOT.

[Dechipher]

erm2003: Good call.

SeirraMist: Honestly, do you use your fingers or your penis more? I'm not sure I'd rather lose my fingers, but maybe that's just a musician for ya.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

It reminds me of that episode of the Simpsons where Homer builds a little robot. He activates it, and it sparks, crashes, burns, freezes, then throws its own head at Homer before dying completely.
By some chance, are you referring to Linguo? I thought Lisa built that little guy.



There should be a law stating that if you use your severed genitals as a means of resisting arrest, you shouldn't get them back. They become forefit.

[ShadowTiger]

By some chance, are you referring to Linguo? I thought Lisa built that little guy.I'm not sure, but I -think- the episode in question was the one where Homer was going to be a robot for the Robot Battle Arena competition Bart and Chief Knockahomer were engaged in. He tried to build a little robot earlier, and when he turned it on, the thing just went berserk and threw its own head at Homer before exploding. I thought it was kinda funny. http://www.purezc.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/icon_heh.gif





There should be a law stating that if you use your severed genitals as a means of resisting arrest, you shouldn't get them back. They become forefit.Even worse: They become evidence. :sb:

[algam86]

That'd be kind of embarassing to put on the evidence table... :p
"Here we have Exhibit A...that guy's penis. He threw it at us, along with a bunch of knives, while we were trying to arrest him..."

:scared: How is a guy supposed to deny that?

I just thought of something...What if one of the officers just happened to go crazy and stomp on the thing? I'm kinda glad I predict worst-case scenarios all the time...to avoid THAT.

[Tygore]

They should have reattached it upside-down.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

I'm not sure, but I -think- the episode in question was the one where Homer was going to be a robot for the Robot Battle Arena competition Bart and Chief Knockahomer were engaged in.

I think I remember that one now, though being a language dork, I prefer poor little Linguo.



Algam, that brings up an interesting point. If it's evidence, how can they reattach it? Wouldn't they need to keep it locked away with the rest of the evidence until the trial? Imagine, several months from now, they hand him a little paper bag...

[ZTC]

I think it was in Germany where a guy actully cooked his penis; can't remember the exact details though...

[koopa]

The guy in question was a "cannibal", he killed someone and then cooked and ate several body parts. In court he said the victim had wanted that all along, they'd met and arranged it all over the internet.

He's now safely behind bars and will stay there, hopefully, for a long time. It's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. Makes me wonder even more than usual about human society and all that.

[Aegix Drakan]

Makes me wonder even more than usual about human society and all that.

XD Don't wonder Koopa. You already know the answer. Humans are IMHO the worst things to happen to this planet. personally, The only reason I have any hope in th ehuman race is because of nice people like you, Algam, BH4, and a few other people.

[Dracula]

The only reason I have any hope in th ehuman race is because of nice people like you, Algam, BH4, and a few other people.

And people who contribute to ceasing the reproduction of more screwed human beings to screw this world up... such as severing your penis and throwing it to "the man". :rolleyes:

...sorry, I had to.

[bigboylink]

The guy in question was a "cannibal", he killed someone and then cooked and ate several body parts. In court he said the victim had wanted that all along, they'd met and arranged it all over the internet.

He's now safely behind bars and will stay there, hopefully, for a long time. It's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. Makes me wonder even more than usual about human society and all that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Miewes

His original sentence was for manslaughter, serving a mere eight and a half years. He's now being retried for murder and a life sentence.

Anyone else think he shouldn't have been convicted at all, given the willing consent of the victim? Of course, any prosecuting lawyer will argue for the victim's insanity, despite the victim's own sexual desires in this case.

[MottZilla]

It was something sexual? o.O To be killed and eaten?

I personally think they should have just shot the guy in the head and dumped the body somewhere. Problem solved, with minimal costs to society by eliminating expensive courts and corpse handling and disposal. =)

[koopa]

Anyone else think he shouldn't have been convicted at all, given the willing consent of the victim? Of course, any prosecuting lawyer will argue for the victim's insanity, despite the victim's own sexual desires in this case.

A sane person wouldn't kill and, above all, eat another person, even if the victim is nuts enough to demand it. That he is capable of doing such a thing - and finding nothing wrong with it, apparently - would in my opinion be enough to have him removed from society, if not to a prison, then to safe mental institution.


It was something sexual? o.O To be killed and eaten?
Apparently. I'll never understand it, I guess, but then I don't really want to know.

[Rainman]

It was something sexual? o.O To be killed and eaten?
Welcome to the internet. Look up Vore if you want to know more.

[MottZilla]

Uh no, thanks I'll pass on that. Reminds me I need more guns and ammunition.

[Tygore]

Anytime someone on a message board doesn't want to explain something, that's a sure sign that you absolutely do NOT want to look it up.

[punkonjunk1024]

Wasn't it van gough (sp) who cut off his ear to send to a lover who left him?
I think penis totally pwns that, even if he didn't send it off. Seriously. "I'll show you, I don't need a penis!"

[moocow]

They should have reattached it upside-down.

Or better yet, to his forehead.

Then he could be a literal dickhead.

AHAHAHAHA

I am such a reatard.