Creepy (or worst) and best Christmas Songs?

[Monica]

It's almost Christmas, and I just remembered this Christmas song I heard on accident while searching for Comedy Christmas songs last year. It was a parody of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire about a Christmas Tree catching on fire and burning the house down and killing people! O_____O (I think...I had to turn it off in the middle, it was aweful!)

But that's the worst, most creepy Christmas song I've ever heard... The best song I've heard, and one I look forward to hearing every year is a country song called Christmas Carol, about a man (the singer) playing Santa at an orphanage and meeting Carol who was born on Christmas and adopting her. :)

What about y'all?

[Beldaran]

"Deck the halls with Santa's balls, fla la la la la, la la, la, la!"

We used to sing that song all the time in elementary school. I forget the rest of the words though.

[moocow]

"Carol of the Bells" is my FAVORITE. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts roasting) is my second.

I've never heard a Christmas song that creeped me out o.O

[Starkist]

Down in the workshop all the elves were making toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered in ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nick went insane
Realized he'd been getting a raw deal
Something finally must've snapped in his brain

Well the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
Then he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Pancer with and old German Luger
And he slashed down Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
Then he picked up a flamethrower and he barbecued Blitzen
Then he took a big bite and said "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without stepping in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the FBI
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circling 'round in the sky
Now the bullets keep flying the body count's rising
And everybody’s dying to know -oh Santa, why?
My, my, my, my - you used to be such a jolly guy.

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time
In a Federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey little friend now, don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in seven hundred more years.

(Alternate verse used in concert)
Yes, Virginia, now Santa Claus is dead
A guy from the SWAT team blew a hole through his head
Yes, little friend, that's his brains on the floor
Guess you won't have the fat guy to kick around anymore

Now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Claus she's on the phone every night
With a lawyer negotiating the movie rights
(They talk about)

The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
sounds to me like he was tired of getting gypped

The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nick went insane
Realized he'd been getting a raw deal
Something finally must've snapped in his brain
Something finally must've snapped in his brain
Tell ya something finally must've snapped in his brain.

- Weird Al Yankovic

[Saffith]

Yeah. Weird Al's and the bell one. Those are the best.

[goKi]

BAD LANGUAGE AHEAD :D

Hey Santa claus you cunt!
Where's me fucking bike?
I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like.
I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice
Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me fucking bike.

If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody asked.
And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove right up your arse!
You've stuffed me bloody order up
It's enough to make you spew
And I'm not the only one who's snakey
Me sisters dirty too!

(female voice)
Hey santa clause you cunt!
Where's me fucking pram?
You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I am.
'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on your hand
I'll give you fucking ho ho ho
You forgot me fucking pram

(male voice)
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts
And I'll let your fucking reihndeer go and kick Rudolf in the nuts!
You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that store
And me and me little sister, come stomping through the door
And we'll say, yeah you wait for it

Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his bloodshot eyes
And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells fucking lies
He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright
'Cause the old fucking wanker Forgot me fucking bike.
You wait you old cunt, I'm gonna dob you in
Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your fucking lights out

"I saw mummy sucking santa clause"

[Lilith]

---

[Master Ghaleon]

Wham - Last Christmas

I remember this song playing 100 times last year

[Lilith]

---

[Brasel]

ICP's Santa Claus is a Fat Bitch was kind of funny.

My favorite is the Carol of the Bells.

Wow, look at the content of that post.

[King Aquamentus]

Carol of the bells, or whatever it's called. I mean come on, that song should be played on Halloween.

[Monica]

Found the lyrics to Tree's on Fire...hmmm, the tune and his voice makes the song sound much worse than the lyrics themselves...

June
Wake up June
The tree's on fire June
Ohhh noooo

Love is a Christmas tree
But don't think any old tree is safe
Some have a long expire
Turn your house into a funeral pyre

And I watered that tree
Till the branches rose up higher
And it drank drank drank
But it kept on getting drier
Now it burns burns burns
This tree's on fire
This tree's on fire

June call 9-1-1
June
Ohhh

The heat from the smokin' pine
Melted my copy of Walk The Line
And I tried to save A Boy Named Sue
Dang it cooked him too

The cat walked in
Set my Christmas tree on fire
He climbed climbed climbed
Hit some bulbs
And stripped the wires
:(Meows)
:That's when I learned learned learned
This tree's on fire
This tree's on fire

Damn cats

I go into my Christmas tree of fire
And I huffed and huffed and spit
But the flames would not expire
Boy it burns burns burns
This tree's on fire
This tree's on fire

Blow June blow
Oh keep blowing June

Starkist's is the new worst I've heard of! O_O

[ZomfgIts0rzlolo]

I agree with Lilith. Big time. The medieval stuff I did in choir last year was awesome, and I LOVED it. However, almost everything modern I've heard I can't stand. Weird Al's Christmas at Ground Zero pwns, though.

[ONeilcool]

Cheech and chong- Santa Claus and his old lady

Its really funny if you've never heard it, ecspecially if you a fan of cheech and chong. Its not really a song its basic cheech telling chong about santa claus, some may call it a song. Its funny to hear the stoners explaination.

[MacWeirdo42]

Cheech and chong- Santa Claus and his old lady

Its really funny if you've never heard it, ecspecially if you a fan of cheech and chong. Its not really a song its basic cheech telling chong about santa claus, some may call it a song. Its funny to hear the stoners explaination.

Back home, it's just not Christmas until you've heard that played on the radio. Oh, and I like medieval stuff, as well.

[Starkist]

As far as my favorites, I really love the old traditional songs. Oh Holy Night, Silent Night, Oh Come All Ye Faithful...

One of my favorite CDs is the Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "Christmas Eve and Other Stories" which is the old stuff with a new twist.

[Goat]

Carol of teh bells is definently my favorite, I dont know one that really creeps me out tho, but teh funniest was the old snl skits that jimmy fallon, chris kattan, horatio sanz, and tracy morgan used to do. It was just quick music skits of them singing and dancing singin about santa, i used to love those.

[Brasel]

As far as my favorites, I really love the old traditional songs. Oh Holy Night, Silent Night, Oh Come All Ye Faithful...

One of my favorite CDs is the Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "Christmas Eve and Other Stories" which is the old stuff with a new twist.\

I forgot all about Oh Holy Night. THAT one beats Carol of the Bells.

Barbara Striesand singing Christmas music is kind of creepy too. Her Jingle Bells is really annoying. Ms. Striesand is Jewish. Would YOU sing Muslim holiday songs for cash? Weird. I'm not a religious person, and I'm the kind of guy who will do stupid shit for a quick buck but thats selling out a little too much maybe? I dunno.

[moocow]

\

I forgot all about Oh Holy Night. THAT one beats Carol of the Bells.

Barbara Striesand singing Christmas music is kind of creepy too. Her Jingle Bells is really annoying. Ms. Striesand is Jewish. Would YOU sing Muslim holiday songs for cash? Weird. I'm not a religious person, and I'm the kind of guy who will do stupid shit for a quick buck but thats selling out a little too much maybe? I dunno.

O Holy Night beats The Christmas Song, but not Carol of the Bells. O Holy Night and Carol of the Bells were my favorite songs to sing in choir. That's my opinion anyhow.

I didn't know Striesand was jewish, but I just don't like her... I think her singing is scary... so I, uh, yeah. Agreed, Tony. Agreeeeed.

[Dark Nation]

O Come O Come Emanuel

Not so much for the words, but because the song is written in a minor key.

[Rainman]

Barbara Striesand singing Christmas music is kind of creepy too. Her Jingle Bells is really annoying. Ms. Striesand is Jewish. Would YOU sing Muslim holiday songs for cash? Weird. I'm not a religious person, and I'm the kind of guy who will do stupid shit for a quick buck but thats selling out a little too much maybe? I dunno.

Islam doen't have a huge, overblown, commercial holiday.

[Tygore]

"Rejoice. Rejoice. Ema-a-a-n-u-el. Shall come for thee O I-i-is-rae-el."

Love that tune. Carol of the Bells, God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen and O Holy Night are also favorites of mine.

And as far as modern/humerous songs go, Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.

[Starkist]

Islam doen't have a huge, overblown, commercial holiday.

Just wait... in a few years American commercialism will collide with Islamic tradition... It's beginning to look a lot like Ramadan!

[Rainman]

Just wait... in a few years American commercialism will collide with Islamic tradition... It's beginning to look a lot like Ramadan!
I doubt Ramadan will go anywhere commercially. It's a month of fasting. On the other hand, I really shouldn't doubt the ability of America to commercialize things.

[Brasel]

Islam doen't have a huge, overblown, commercial holiday.
Well, during the holidays over here, you don't hear the end of the singing over the city-wide PA system, and the Iraqis have their musical celebrities so, you never know.