no shame

[Beldaran]

Have you ever had really bad gas and you had to fart so bad, but you were afraid to let it go because the fart buildup was so powerful you were afraid that a bunch of shit would splatter out? Then you let it go and this rotten bulb of gas explodes out of your butt like someone just let the air out of a hot air balloon full of butt gas. And it's nasty. But at least no shit came out.

That just happened to me and now my room smells like the exumed grave of humpty dumpty combined with the shit smeared anus of a dead cow during a heat wave. WTF is going on in my ass? It's like a hellforge of olfactory death.

[Daarkseid]

One of my proudest moments in middle school was emptying my classroom with an SBD.

[Brasel]

That just happened to me and now my room smells like the exumed grave of humpty dumpty combined with the shit smeared anus of a dead cow during a heat wave. WTF is going on in my ass? It's like a hellforge of olfactory death.
You should have gone to the toilet with that one, I mean, you were at home. Try having the shits when you're on a field problem in the middle of a forest with nothing to shit in except the hole you had to dig for youself. Basic training is awsome.

[moocow]

Sounds like paradise, Tony.

I don't let it build up. I just hunt my sister down and fart on her leg. Which gets me punched. Which hurts because she hits like a fucking man.

[ShadowTiger]

(MUCH) Better at home than anywhere else. :shrug: I'm very unlucky in that respect. ._.'

It's even worse when you -KNOW- it'll come out in liquid form, and there's little to no chance you can make it to a restroom.

I found a way to delay this horror though. All you need is a chair, and a social reason to sit. (Yes, seriously.) Go find the chair, and as innocently and inconspicuously as you can, pinch and hold one side of the arse of your pants, and pull it to the left a little bit, so there are no little folds or extra space in your pants in that area, and it becomes taut. Then, sit down in the chair, focusing on the area of connection between your arse and the seat. Push down slightly on the chair, though you can do it as hard as you really need to.

While you're in that position, there's very little chance of anything major happening. If you need a little bit of extra help, you can put your hands under the chair, like, kinda on the horizontal metal poles framing the underside, or whatever they have on the sides, and pull toward you. You can often stay on that chair as long as you need to.



And hell, Tony, ... at least when you're in that kind of situation, virtually everyone else is in that same situation. I know it's not generally any less embarrassing, but at least you know that you're in good company, and everyone around you shares a similar feeling.

[Archibaldo]

Well, there was this one time in grade 7. The whole class was silent because we were copying notes and I had to fart. I tried to hold it in. But then I sneezed and I farted. Really loudly too. Boy, that was embarassing.

[Glitch]

One of my proudest moments in middle school was emptying my classroom with an SBD.

Silent But Deadly!




Everytime I have gas here at work I'm afraid to rip it.

[moocow]

Silent But Deadly!




Everytime I have gas here at work I'm afraid to rip it.


Just let your buttcheeks relax, and let it seep out. Hahahaha

[Master Ghaleon]

I let it all go out full force lol

[biggiy05]

I let it all go out full force lol

That is what I do when I am at my house or my friends house.

A few months after we got moved in and I was going to Johnstown schools we were sitting in class taking a test with a substitute. I remember it being dead quiet and then this loud ass fart coming out of my seat. The guys in the class busted out laughing and the girls just stared at each other in horror. The teacher gave me this look of shock like she couldn't believe I did it.

A few weeks before graduation one of the guys in my class came up to me as I was leaving and ripped one right beside me and said "remember 3rd grade?"

[Beldaran]

That is what I do when I am at my house or my friends house.

A few months after we got moved in and I was going to Johnstown schools we were sitting in class taking a test with a substitute. I remember it being dead quiet and then this loud ass fart coming out of my seat. The guys in the class busted out laughing and the girls just stared at each other in horror. The teacher gave me this look of shock like she couldn't believe I did it.

A few weeks before graduation one of the guys in my class came up to me as I was leaving and ripped one right beside me and said "remember 3rd grade?"


Shit dude, you know a fart is truly legendary when it gets remembered for a decade. You have my butt's respect.

[VI3T_DR@GON]

Mine too. What you do is, get ready to fart and then lean over a sibling and go, oh im tired, im gonna sleep...Then you fall on them, put your butt to their face and let it rip! Its priceless...