Taken from www.tuckermax.com

[Beldaran]

I laughed at this.

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Thursday, July 28, 2005



Homeless people are good for something

So today I am eating breakfast at Phillipe's, a famous spot in LA. I go to the bathroom to piss, and all the urinals are occupied so I have to use a stall. As I am pissing someone calls me and instead of just waiting till I was done like a normal person, I fumble with my cell...and drop my car keys right into the toilet bowl.

I stood there for a good ten seconds contemplating what the fuck I had done. Not only was my piss in the bowl, the water was yellow when I got there...and there were shit marks on the side of the bowl.

FUCK.

I momentarily contemplated just ditching it and buying a new car, but even though I am doing well financially, I'm not doing anywhere near that great.

What the fuck do I do now? I am not putting my hand in there. Then it popped into my head:

I went a block away to where I had seen a bunch of homeless people hanging out (LA is crawling with disgusting vagrants) and walked up to a group of them:

Tucker "Any of you want to make ten dollars? All you have to do is get my keys out of the toilet at Phillipes."

They kinda stood there staring at me for a minute, then one of them agreed and followed me to the bathroom.

When he saw the toilet, he paused and said, "Do you have the money?" I produced the cash and without missing a beat he reached into the yellowish brown water like it was a moutain spring and grabbed them. He tried to hand them to me:

Tucker "What the fuck? That is why you are here. Put them in the sink."

He placed them under the faucet, I gave him the money and he left. Then I let the water run over them for five minutes, got a cup of bleach from the busboy, and let them soak while I ate.

This was the only time in my life I have ever been happy that disgusting homeless people exist.




11:49 AM posted by Tucker

[Rainman]

Wtf? He could have just reached in the toilet and saved ten dollar. It's not like his hand would've been destroyed or something.

Better yet I would have found something to fish it out.

[War Lord]

I would have done the same thing.
I'm can't shit in public places, let alone stick my fucking hand in one of the toilets.

[Gerudo]

ROFL!

thats awesome. Tucker Max and Maddox are the best two people ever.

[ShadowTiger]

Heh. Yeah. ^_^'

I'm pretty much with Rainman in opinion here. You can fake not having to use the facilities for a while until it's more empty, if you really don't want to use a public room, or at least until it's nearly empty. But to be brave (AKA Stupid) enough to stick your hand in there to retrieve an item of yours, ... well, people see that. What would they think? Would they think "Holy crap, ew, he stuck his hand into feces water!" or would they think "Wow, that guy's bold."

You can always just wash off the item in question in the sink anyway. It's if they don't have any running water; THEN, you're in trouble! :p

[Master Ghaleon]

I would of asked the busboy for some tongs to get the keys out and then rinse and bleach :o Waste of 10 dollars

[carrot red]

This gives a new meaning to *lending a hand.* : p

I find it surprising that only one homeless person agreed to follow him and do it. (I would have even paid 20 dollars.)

[ShadowTiger]

I find it surprising that only one homeless person agreed to follow him and do it.I dunno. > >.' I mean, just because a person is desperate for money (Or perhaps not even so! O_O ) doesn't mean they don't have their dignity. ... It's a funny thing, ... dignity ... It's often evident in the most absurd of situations.


And I suppose you could've just fished it out with a coathanger or something; or maybe, MAYBE even a paperclip. You can chain paperclips together. Very useful. It never hurts to have the little things like these for situations like this. ;)

Though, I'm amazed that the keys were able to be retrieved at all. Don't keys ... sink? O_o' ... I mean, obviously, there's the S-Curve Bend in the pipe, which is all well and good. Glad he got his keys back.

[Starkist]

Dogbert, to Bum: "I'll pay you ten thousand dollars to wallow in that mud puddle."
Dogbert: "I love being rich."

[Dechipher]

Chances are, he was the only actual homeless man there, and not some con.