I Wish... You Were A Frog

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted, but you get ulcers, and that's no joke.

I wish people named Steve would just die. Really. They're just no good. Stevens, or even Stephans, but Steves just suck.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you've just killed my dad. I'm going to slice you into itty bitty bits, then jump up and down on those itty bity bits until I can't jump anymore, and then I'll do something equally nasty to the itty bitty bits that remain!

:)

I wish i weren't so addicted to Diet Coke with Cherry.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You're now addicted to regular Coke with Cherry, which is much worse for your body than it's diet counterpart. You become fat and unattractive, and as a result spend the remainder of your life posting on message boards and eating fried twinkies smothered in BBQ sauce. It's not a pretty sight.


I wish my grandparents train hadn't been delayed in Chicago. It's getting late, and I'm tired!

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but it was derailed. Nobody's hurt (I'm not that cruel) but you have to wait for hours while they sort everyone out.

I wish I didn't have to wait 6 more days for the next episode of Doctor Who!

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. The show is cancelled, removing your need to wait. In it's place is the spinoff, Doctor What, a comedy about an aging physician who is unable to afford hearing aides. Also, he's in space, or something.

I wish I had cable TV, because then I could also have Cable internet.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but I force you to watch Doctor Who - all of it!

Granted that's mostly not be a bad thing, but pray for death during The Twin Dilemma...

I wish for more money, an underground missile silo, three brunettes who perform my every whim and a cat that didn't eat me out of house and home.

[g4conman]

Granted, but the underground missle silo malfunctions and explodes killing everything else you wished for. The cat would mutate into a cat that calls hisself evil bob and make you uncook fish for him for the rest of your life.

I wish Dark Raven would change his stupid apple avatar!

[koopa]

Granted, he swaps with you. It's now your apple avatar.

I wish I could meet some of the members here in person.

[rocksfan13]

Granted. You meet someone who is completely nuts and kidnapps you and forces you to design a better ZC nonstop.

I wish this house deal would go over smoothly

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted, the deal goes over smoothly, but while you're signing the paperwork, a steamroller also goes over smoothly. Over your house, that is.

I wish people would stop complaining about my freaking avatars. First Daarkseid complains about mustachioed Link, and now G4 is complaining about my SA apple. There is no pleasing you people, is there?

[Darth Marsden]

Granted. You find the perfect avatar that no-one ever complains about, but you don't like the image yourself!

I wish for a a wish with no consequences whatsoever.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. Your wish is granted perfectly, but everyone finds it boring, and nobody notices. You fall into a deep depression, and soon after fall into a deep canyon. On purpose. Because everyone hates you, Mr. Perfect Wish. Especially Douglas MacArthur. When you get to heaven, he kicks you in the balls.


I wish Darth Marsden wasn't going into seclusion for this silly Doctor Whatsit show.

[koopa]

Granted, he's here but all he does is talk about Doctor Who.

I wish I had a cat.

[algam86]

Granted, but it destroys all your furniture because you forgot to get it declawed.

I wish I hadn't eaten that pear-apple thingy. My stomach feels funny.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You construct a time machine out of an ordinary household oscilating fan, travel back in time, and stop yourself from eating whatever fruit hybrid you're talking about. Unfortunately, your time machine can only travel backwards, and you realize this after you mistakenly switch it on high and blow yourself into frontier times, where you are promptly scalped by Indians. This hurts. A lot.

I wish mosquitoes didn't exist.

[algam86]

Granted, they don't exist. But now mosquito/tick/leech hybrids exist, and they're all coming for you.

(I forget what it was called...I just call it a pear-apple.)

I wish I could get out of the band. :badrazz:

[likesallusions]

Granted, but then you have an urge to get back in for some odd reason but can't.

I wish I'd get a daily schedule worked out so I'm not having an internet day, a video game day, a sit in my room and do virtually nothing few days, etc.

[algam86]

Granted, but the entire schedule revolves around you scooping up various animal poop. (yes, I said poop.)

I wish I had more cherry-flavored pop.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted, but it's cherry-vinegar cola, and that's just plain nasty.


I wish my allergies weren't giving me such a hard time. I was sneezing my head off this morning while I washed my girlfriend's bosses dogs, and I'm not even allergic to dogs!

[koopa]

Granted, you lose your allergies ... and your girlfriend.

Algam: Declawed? Cruelty to animals, I say!

I wish I was a cat.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you get nutered (sp?) and declawed, so what's the point in living?

I wish it weren't so f!@#ing hot!

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. It's now f-ing cold, and computers don't work when it's cold, so everyone who's missed your presence in this part of AGN is now sad again. How could you?!

I wish I wasn't broke...!

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you stole the money from a bank and the cops are surrounding your house...

God I've missed this.

I wish for a root beer. I'm in the mood.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. Your left hand is now holding a cold, frosty glass of root beer. Unfortunately, after you take a big swig, you realize that carrots are technically roots, and you now understand why the liquid was deeply orange.

I wish I had a pool.

[VI3T_DR@GON]

Granted, its at an easymart. You get there early before anyone is there, but someone saw you come in. They walk in, and ask for the money. You have no idea where a register is (its one where its under the counter, hidden), so you tell him you just got here. He smashes down the stands, and breaks the windows. He shoots you in the chest, and you have to have your stomach stapled, even worse, you get fired. Problem is, the next day, your stomach bursts due to extreme pressure build up. You have a nice tombstone though..It looks good...


I wish I would goto bed, ITS 6:09AM!!

[rocksfan13]

Granted, you got to bed and fall into a DEEP sleep, so deep you slip into a coma for 30 years.

I wish my sister would go away

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. She moves away to a small western european country, marries the prince, and lives happily (and richly) ever after. Without you. Because girls love that crap.


I wish my right eye weren't swollen with tears because of my blasted allergies. I can hardly see my monitor.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but now your fingers are so swollen you can barely move them.

I wish I had more energy in the mornings.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You have so much energy, in fact, that as soon as your feet hit the carpet, a spark of static electricity ignites a chain reaction that produces a mushroom cloud the size of nebraska where your house (and most of your country) used to be.

I wish my dad would quit worrying about me getting pulled over because of my expired plates. I've been driving on them for a year now, and it hasn't happened yet...

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you get pulled over tomorrow and he gets to give you that classic 'I told you so' speach.

I wish it weren't raining! I have to do the bins...

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. It's no longer raining, and it stays that way for a long time, until your house is now in the center of a very large desert.


I wish I hadn't developed a pimple right where my belt rests on my waist. Hurts like a... painful... thing.

[algam86]

Granted, but...it just shifted a little lower. :p

I wish I could get a dog.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but he mauls you. Down there.

I wish I knew what I wanted to eat.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. It's cheap, abundant, and considered one of the more savory parts of the pig. It's that part down there. Lower. Lower. No, higher. That's it. Great with barbeque sauce. Once you cook off all the sauce it comes pre-marinated in, anyway.

I wish it would rain all week long and not stop.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted.

...what? I want it to rain too. Far too freakin' hot. You want a catch? Fine. You drown.

I wish I could get back to my audio project.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You brainstorm some brilliant ideas while you shower, but just as you put on your headphones to begin, a freak electrical surge causes them to emit a deafening noise. You can't hear a thing for the rest of your life. Just a nice, high pitched squealing noise followed by a series of random clicks.


I wish Michigan wasn't in a single state recession.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but now everywhere else is and you're the odd one out.

I wish I could talk to girls better.

[Aegix Drakan]

granted, but they just don't listen. :P

I wish I could get all the 180 emblems in Sonic adventure 2. It's just too damn hard!

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You get them all, but suddenly realize that the thirty years it took you wasn't worth it in the slightest. On the plus side, now that you're beyond your prime and can no longer survive intimate physical contact, women finally love you.



I wish pizza grew on trees.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but everyone wants one, they all get cut down and become extinct. And since trees are what cnverts carbon dioxide into oxygen, we all die. The end.

I wish for world peace, and for aliens to completely ignore planet Earth.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. People stop hating each other and everything is fine, until the aliens pass us by. Instead of helping us, they just watch as a massive meteor colides with the planet and splits it in half, dooming our entire existence. Just before we all die, we collectively flip you off.

I wish I had high-speed internet.

[Machiavelli]

Granted, but as soon as you do, the whole world upgrades and you're not on the cutting-edge anymore.

I wish I was a constant poster.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You are now a motivational poster hung on the wall in a high school guidance counselor's office. Hang in there, little kitten!


I wish I had an arm that shot doughnuts.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but they taste horrible.

It's Machiavelli! *Throws Party*

I wish I had more Diet Coke w/ Cherry. I'm out. :(

[koopa]

Granted. You win an unlimited supply and a sponsorship deal with Coke, then you develop an allergy to it.

I wish ... it weren't so damn hot!

[Dann Woolf]

Granted. Earth becomes coated with Ice-9.

I wish Nintendo released Twilight Princess already.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but it's buggier then Daikatana.

I wish for a 99, with a flake.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You eat breakfast as usual, and as you're pouring your frosted flakes, a giant 99 shaped flake comes out. It's GRRRRRRREEEAAAT!

[Darth Marsden]

...I wish DarkRaven had given me something to ridicule!

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. But it's waaaaay wittier than anything you ever post, and consequently, you curl up into a fetal position and cry.

I wish I wasn't so forgetful sometimes. :D

[Dann Woolf]

Granted. Now you're forgetful ALL the time.

I wish that I could speak every language known to mankind (and a few unknown)

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted, but on your way to the press conference to announce your lingual mastery, you get into a car accident and are rendered mute for the rest of your existence.

I wish it weren't so blasted hot in my corner of Michigan right now.

[Dann Woolf]

Granted. It's blasted hot everywhere in Michigan.

I wish that life was more like video games (Nintendo in particular).

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you keep losing lives and seeing the Game Over screen.

I wish I could get more sleep these days. Seriously, it's getting really bad.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You learn how to hibernate for decades at a time. Unfortunately, you require the succulent nutrition of five human livers to perform this feat. As a result, you're now being chased by a pair of FBI agents, and they're not after you for your peach pie recipie.

I wish my mom weren't paranoid about using the computer during a thunderstorm. Blah. Offline for me.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but your mom is paranoid about everything else you do. She checks your phone records, searches your room on a daily basis and tails you when you leave the house. Congratulations! Your own stalker. You must be so proud.

I STILL wish it weren't so hot.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. It now feels like 103, but it's really only 98. Or, wait, do you use the celsius scale? Have fun crying boiling tears before you die.


I wish my car had more gas in it.

[Machiavelli]

Granted, but don't get too excited, its only 5 dollars worth.

I wish this game design class wasn't so boring...

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but now it's so cool you fail to learn anything, and promptly flunk the year, the end result being you living out of a trashcan. I'm mean...

I wish I had more Ice Lollies. I've run out...

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You now have an unlimited supply of ice lollines, but as you consume them, you grow fatter and fatter until one day you are but a sad shell of your former self. Your diet is now primarily made up of ice lollies, seasoned curly fries, and fried hippo lard.

I wish I had $250 so I could invest in a business opportunity.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but the business fails meserably.

I'm not fat, I'm big boned...

I wish my life weren't so dull.

[Dann Woolf]

Granted, you get chased by immortal ninjas every day.

I wish we had Doctor Pepper, I could really go for some...

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. Doctor Pepper, in a twist of dramatic irony, drugs you and fills your body cavities with salt.


I wish my sister would clean out her rabbit cages more than once every five or six weeks. I'm talking pounds of crap here, people. Three square feet, and an inch thick. Times thirteen.

[Bender]

Granted. Now she scoops out the rabbit turds and fills your shoes with them every morning.

I wish I had my own computer.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted! Enjoy your new state-of-the-art Pentium One processor.

I wish I didn't have to clean the house today... :(

[Bender]

Granted. You have to go clean Michael Jackson's mansion in your undies.

I wish I had more money for beers.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but I come over and drink them all.

I wish I could get a bit more sleep. I'm shattered... :(

[Bender]

Granted. You've gotten three nanoseconds more sleep. Feeling refreshed?

I wish I had a hot new wardrobe. (Um, made of indestructible fabrics.)

[likesallusions]

Granted, but it gets stuck on you and you really need to get it off for whatever reason comes to your mind first but can't because it's indestructible. Example, you try scissors and just plain ripping at it, and anything else you can think up.

I wish I was on armageddon more often than I currently am without it messing up the schedule I still don't have.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but then the server goes down and we lose everything.

I wish for a dead squirrel lying in the road beside our house that has it's organs stuck on the tire of a truck currently doing 50 down the M1 while the driver is listening to a Meat Loaf album and jacking himself off to a mental picture of Britney Spears dancing naked in the pouring rain outside a nightclub where Christina Aguilera is stripping to the tune of Lady Marmalade and Jessica Simpson is pleasuring herself with a magazine on a nearby table in full view of dozens of reporters all armed with cameras, ready to splash the images all over the internet.

God I'm bored.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. All of that stuff happens, but then you wake up and realize that you're a dirty, dirty pervert. Shame on you.


I wish I had the money to get my car fixed up properly. It doesn't start well in the cold.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but it gets about 2 miles to the gallon and has no air conditioning.

I'm already a filthy pervert. What's your point?

I wish I had more cold drinks. I'm running low.

[Dann Woolf]

Granted. The drinks are so cold your organs are frozen and shatter,
the frozen gut-shards ripping you open and killing you instantly.

I wish I had more money.

[Bender]

Granted, but its in ruples which are coated in anthrax.

I wish Jessica Alba was my roommate.

[Rulehy]

Granted, but shes a killer!

I wish I could make the best ZC game!

[Bender]

Granted, but your success and fame is posthumous, cuz a lightning bolt hits and kills you.

I wish I had 20/20 vision.

[Rulehy]

Granted,but you have one eye on the top of your head and it is covered by hair!

I wish I had super-sonic-hearing!

[dimepiece]

Granted, but you lose your ears all together.

I wish this wish couldn't be granted.

Edit: Ain't I a mother fucker.

[Rulehy]

Not granted,but it isn't true...so...GRANTED!
...What?...

I wish I was right!

[dimepiece]

Not granted,but it isn't true...so...GRANTED!
...What?...

I wish I was right!

WRONG! I'll tell you what you would do.

The wish isn't granted, but you would make it so everything I DON'T wish to happen... DOES HAPPEN!

Granted: But everything else in your life gos wrong VERY WRONG!

I wish ^ would shoot himself in the head. "note this is the next person to post"

[Rulehy]

Granted,but the bullet also hits you!

I wish the bullet doesn't hit me!

[dimepiece]

Granted, but it hits the next person who posts and he's gonna kick your fucking ass.

I wish next person would kick michale jackson in balls.

[Aranda]

Rulely YOU MOTHER FUCKER!
What you going around shooting people you don't know.

Granted, But I wind up getting raped.

I wish I could kill the next person who posts.

[dimepiece]

YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!

The next person is slain by you, but his soul is animated as a dread wraith and goes Metroid fan hunting.

Where the hell is Exate damn it...

Wise I knew where exate was?

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Your "Wise" is granted. Exate is inside your lower intestine, preparing to squeeze his way out. Good luck!

I wish people around here knew how to spell properly.

[Bender]

Granted, but their precise spelling, grammar, and diction makes them sound like pretentious self absorbed chodes and you leave AGames in disgust.

I wish every day was a party with no hangovers to look forward to.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you die of alcohol poisoning.

I wish people wouldn't try to start new forum games that they know won't last.

[Rulehy]

Granted,but now all fourm games wont last.

I wish nothing bad happend from this wish!
Heh heh!;)

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but everyone else in the universe wishes harm against you, and their wishes all come true as well.

I wish people would remember to put their wishes in bold text.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. People remember that they're supposed to, but like me, collectively decide to screw it just to annoy you. Ha!


I wish water balloons grew on trees.

[Rulehy]

Granted, but your avatars hat becomes so tight that you die!

I wish this wish could not,not,not,not be granted! I just unbolded it!
.................................................. .................................................. .....UN-BOLD...
Hey {DSG} we posted at the same time. o_O

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

I think you replied to Darth Marsden's wish. Bummer. My hopes and dreams will now fall into the shadows, doomed to be forgotten and die alone. Curse you.

Granted. You've now created a paradox, and the universe folds in on itself. Thanks a lot.

I wish pumpkin canning companies would put actual pie filling in the can if they're going to show a pie on the front. I still have a funny taste in my mouth, and that was two years ago.

[Rulehy]

Granted,but now,everything tastes bad!
(sorry bout' that {DSG} ya posted at the same time as me)

I wish there was no wars!....Don't laugh at me....

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. War is abolished, and without the threat of organized international response, the world falls into a mass of chaos, perpetuated by the same individuals already working to destroy it with their hatred. Oh, democracy is still around, but they don't much care to listen to our demands that they stop being so mean.

Thunder, or Lightning?

[Darth Marsden]

Wrong game. But lightning. Hitting you.

I wish people would remember to wish for something!

[Dann Woolf]

Granted, but everyone forgets to grant wishes.

I wish I had superpowers.

[Rulehy]

Granted,but an evil villan kills you!

I wish an owl exploded,and nothing kills me!;)

[Dann Woolf]

Granted, but the owl was the last of a rare species of owls, and you get arrested for killing it.

I wish for a glass of coffee liquer.

[likesallusions]

Granted, it's disgusting and you lose all taste you might've had for coffee or liquor.

I wish the weather wasn't record highs, record lows, drier than a bone, flooded, full of toxic fumes from nowhere and still having plenty of oxygen to breathe, uh...and I forgot what else I was going to put. I'll end the post here.

[dimepiece]

Thunder, or Lightning? :shakeno:

DSG -> :googly: :goofy: :weirdo: :eek: :nerd:

Stop smoking weed while using the internet good old chap...

__________________________________________________ ________

Granted: but the world comes to a end...

I wish for a miracle...

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but it's the miracle of birth, and it's happening to you! Congratulations, you're a dad in the most painful possible manner.

I wish I hadn't got such a headache right now.

[Bender]

Granted, now your whole body is free of pain due to an advanced case of leprosy.

I wish I had unlimited access to everything.

[Dann Woolf]

Granted, but I just realized that I granted the wrong wish. DAMN IT.
I wish that my cats didn't keep jumping on the table.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, now they jump on you. With their claws out.

I wish I'd been able to get more sleep last night... Zzzz...

[Dann Woolf]

Granted, but you have nightmares that make grown men curl up and weep.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

[Bender]

Granted! You wished for me to have all your worldly possessions.

I wish my car was on MTV's "Pimp My Ride".

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted, but while making upgrades to the vehicle, your engine gets replaced with a deep fryer (full of 10w30), and your brake fluid is now Gatorade.

I wish people would stop placing insomnia related internet confusion and being a pothead in the same category. I don't do drugs, kids.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you have to take drugs and have insomnia in order to shut them up.

I wish my hair would grow long enough to tie back already.

[dimepiece]

Ok, but it's so damn long that it covers the earth.
Thanks alot...

I wish for nothing, absolute nothing.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted. Nothing exists. NOTHING.
Thanks a lot...

I wish I had more money!

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You now crap out Italian Lyra, 1,000 at a time. Keep in mind, with the exchange rate, that's more or less a nickel.


I wish I could paint like a professional.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but it's Rolf Harris.

I wish I didn't keep oversleeping.

[Brasel]

You don't oversleep anymore, because you stopped all together.

I wish my term of service in the army was over with.

[Bender]

Granted, but then the army is accused of war crimes and they make you their scapegoat.

I wish I felt better this morning.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You feel great, until the morphine wears off and you discover that you've a quadruple amputee.


I wish Michigan wasn't in the grip of a record breaking heat wave.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, it's now in the grip of the worst snow storm in recorded history.

I wish I were more alert.

[Rulehy]

Granted, but you get so paranoid that you have a heart-attack!

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

I wish that once again, people would remember to wish for things.

[Rulehy]

Opps!
Granted,but peoples wishes are so confusing that they make no sence!

I wish for peace that had a sandwitch in a world with a peace of no peace.

[Darth Marsden]

Uh... granted, but aliens invade and kill us all.

I wish I had mor emoney. Again.

[Dann Woolf]

Granted, but you stole it from a Mafia boss, who sends his "family" to pay you a visit.

I wish for a flying rocket-powered hotdog.

[koopa]

Granted. Due to the poisonous fuel, it's entirely inedible.

I wish ... it were winter again. Heatwaves don't do you any good.

[rocksfan13]

Granted, Now starts the next ice age. Enjoy your carabou!

I wish I could move out.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but it's to the North Pole. Or, if you're really lucky, the South.

I wish I could see the future.

[Cloral]

Granted. You see 10 seconds into the future, at which point the bus ends your ability to see, or do anything else.

I wish I had the old source code to my old game...

[Dann Woolf]

Granted, but you lose access to the internet.

I wish I could fly.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you slam straight into an airplane engine.

I wish I had better eyesight.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You can now see perfectly... in the ultraviolet spectrum. You can look at stuff, but you get eye cancer. Because UV rays... yada... whatever. You see like a bee!

I wish I could burn things with my mind.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you forget just how much stuff in the world is combustable and start forest fires and stuff. Oh! And you burn yourself as well. Nice.

I wish I didn't sweat so much.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. Like a dog, you now have no sweat glands and can only cool yourself by constantly panting. Which, on the positive side of things, means you can't talk much anymore. :D

I wish I wasn't so congested.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but now cars drive through you on a regular basis.
D'you see what I did there? GENIUS!

I wish I could get more sleep at night.

[Dann Woolf]

Granted, but you have to sleep in a pile of nails.

I wish I didn't get bored easily.

[koopa]

Granted. You have to work every spare minute of your life, so you have no time to get bored.

I wish I had a car of my own.

[Dann Woolf]

Granted, it's a model car.

I wish I had some Oreos.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted, but they're loaded with unhealthy trans fats, and as you eat them, smiling and licking your lips in satisfaction, you fail to realize that you are slowly eating yourself to death. It's true.


I wish my parents would learn how to wash dishes correctly. I mean, honestly, both sides of the plate need to be clean, people!

[koopa]

Granted, however, they decide to make it your job from now on. And they check that you do it correctly.

I wish eating chocolate .... yum ... didn't make you fat.

[g4conman]

Granted, scientists generate a choclate that doesnt make you fat but the side effects burn away all your body fat makeing you become completely anerexic and you die a very ugly death.

I wish I could play in the AGN arcade right now. (My bad rep prevents me from playing any games in the Arcade.)

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but now there's nothing worth playing.

I wish I had more ice cubes.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. When you open your freezer next, anarctica pops out and crushes you. Ha.


I wish people would post in my new forum game (http://www.armageddongames.net/showthread.php?t=92648). Sure, it's similar to the joke thread under general discussion, but it could be fun if people try...

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but every post sucks ass.
It's an interesting game, but I can't think of anything to post in it. Sorry!

I wish I knew where my credit card was!

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You mailed it to me. Too bad I've got a $1300 a day Faberge egg habit. I'll know when I've had enough.

I wish I knew something about farming, so I could appear to be somewhat valuable at my new job, and not just a total newb. D'oh.

[g4conman]

Granted, but the boss at your new job thinks your too good and uses his connections with the italian moffia and they torture you to the point of insanity by throwing endless amonts of tomatoes at your croch.

I wish my mom will never take my computer away or put a lock on it!

[Darth Marsden]

Granted. She blows it up.

I wish for a hundered cans of Root Beer.

[Dann Woolf]

Granted, but it's all flat.

I wish I could shoot laser beams from my nipples.

[ECNM]

Granted, but this is a constant effect. Therefore, you kill everyone.

I wish I was a famous game designer.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you're famous for being bad. Congratulations! You're the new John Romero!

I wish for an anvil to land on Tony Blair.

[koopa]

Granted. Gordon Brown takes over.

I wish everyone would spell correctly. I've seen to much "i no u" for one day.

[ECNM]

Granted. Everyone now speaks letter by letter, however.

I wish my headphones would stop breaking.

[algam86]

Granted, but you lose them.

I wish my CD player would stop turning on when it's in my backpack.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but now it never turns on, ever.

I wish I have a happy birthday.
It's the 18th, if you're curious.

[Rulehy]

Granted,but you get only an empty pop can for your B-day.

I wish I knew how to spell hypothisis...hipothisie...hypotisis...DOH!

[Phazite]

Granted, but you can't spell your own name.

I wish I could wish for anything and make it come true.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted. You wish for death.

I wish for a can of 7-Up.

[ECNM]

Granted. While drinking it, you choke to death on something that was inside it.

I wish time would slow down a bit.

[likesallusions]

Granted, but you don't slow down at all, you get everything you need done done, and have so much spare time you don't know what to do with it all. (Sorry, I'm not sure if this is a good or bad consiquence [sp?])

I wish I'd just get to coloring this one picture I did sooner rather than later, and finish painting another one I was hoping to be done with before now.

[Rulehy]

Granted,but the pics are horrably disfigured.

I wish I had one of thoes Burger King toys that had some hard candy in it.
I will give the hard candy to an old person.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted, but the candy tastes bad and you get beaten with a cane.

I wish for my hand to heal, because I cut it on a knife this morning while harvesting turnip greens.

[ECNM]

Granted. Later, you are hit by a car, leaving you with amazingly only one wound... An indentical cut on your other hand.

I wish I could wish for more wishes.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but they never come true.

I wish I knew what I was gonna get for my birthday.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You're getting shot. In the face. Twice. Then, your family will have a party with not one, but two clowns.

I wish I could have worked part time at my last job, instead of spending 72 hours a week in the fields. Have respect for them immigrants, folks. The legal ones, at least. They put food on your plate.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but the pay was nigh-on non existant.
72 hours? Ouch.

I wish I had a decent keyboard!

[ECNM]

Granted. Your hardrive is now fried.

I wish I knew everything.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but everybody keeps pestering you for that infomation.

I wish I could get to grips with my screwed up sleeping pattern.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You awake each morning with mysterious bruises, because unbeknownst to yourself, you are gripping yourself at night with ferocious intensity.

I wish for more hours at my new job. 72 hours a week was a lot, but 12-16 is a lot less, even if the pay is better.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted. You now work 75 hours a week.

I wish I could print money and never get caught.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You can now print Confederate U.S. currency. It is accepted by no one, and is obviously not antique, so it's basically worthless.


I wish I had an artillery battery and some shells, just for fun.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you blow yourself up!
Congrats on your 1K, BTW.

I wish for millions of Jelly Tots. (They're UK sweeties, FYI)

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. A helicopter dumps them on you. You manage to eat your way out, but by then you're at least twice as grotesque as the average british person, with all the fatness.


I wish to one day drive a vegetable to work.

[jookboxx]

Granted but some crazed vegtable adict named stan comes and eats you ride and the thinks your some kind of seed so in turn you yourself get eaten

I Wish that nobody messes up this wish

(haha foild)

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. Your wish, which is nothing, is not messed up. You still get nothing, which is impossible to wish for, so not only do you have nothing, but so does everyone else. You created a paradox and the universe is destroyed.

[rocksfan13]

I wish {DSG}DarkRaven would made a wish

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but it sucks and makes everyone hate him. And you, for some reason.

I wish I had a can of 7-Up.

[Rulehy]

Granted,but it explodes! It was a bomb!
I wish for a better day tommorow.
yay! no longer banned!

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but the day after you get banned again. Permanently this time.

I wish there were more time in the day.

[rocksfan13]

Granted, you move to Saturn where the days last 48 hours and the gravity is unbearable.

I wish the week was shorter

[Rulehy]

Granted, it is always one day long! Thanks a lot.

I wish the next person to post would smack themself!

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but I smack myself so hard, I go flying across the world and land on you!

I wish I could stop biting my nails.

[Rulehy]

Granted! You stop compleatly. You may never use nail clippers.

I wish I had new shoes for school.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but they have big holes in them and it rains a lot.

I wish McDonalds food didn't taste so crappy.

[Rulehy]

Granted, but it is so good that they one all the restaurants in the world!
Thats not all, they run out of stock and people starve and eat each other!

I wish McDonalds food was EXTREAMLY crappy!

[Darth Marsden]

That's not a wish, that's a fact.

I wish Burger King wasn't so expensive.

[Rulehy]

You wished it not crappy, I wish it normal again.

Granted, but now their food is 2x as crappy as McDonalds.

I wish for a privet jet.

[algam86]

Granted, but you can't afford the fuel to get it to fly, so it's basically a big paperweight.

I wish everything tasted like chocolate. Because chocolate is awesome. :D

[Rulehy]

Granted, but you die of sodium intake.

I wish I was a good speller!

[jookboxx]

lol i work at McDonalds and even i think there crap but back on topic

you spell so good that you have a lust to know the spelling of every word and when you know them all you implode

i wish my new shoes dident cost 130$ (stupid size 15 and not being able to buy them in my town):mad:

EDIT: oops deleted the first part of the quote

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, they cost $131.

I wish people knew how to use the quote and spoiler tags properly.

[Bender]

Granted, but they also know how to talk about Britney Spears and Seventeen magazine and flood AGames forums with threads about shopping at Abercromie and exercise tips.

I wish I had a 40.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but it's microscopic and you lose it like THAT. Snaps fingers

I wish I didn't have a headache right now.

[algam86]

Granted. You have a heart attack instead.

I wish my classes were more exciting.

[Aegix Drakan]

Granted, but they're so exciting you have a heart attack. :P

[Rulehy]

I wish you remember to put something.

[algam86]

Granted, but you have to pay me $1000. Where's my money?! (j/k)

I wish I had a pet Vampragon. Light version pic. (http://www.ultimateaq.com/images/pets/Light%20Vampragon.PNG)

[Rulehy]

Granted, it hates you and therefor kills you.

I wish for an X-Box 36,000!

[algam86]

Granted, but due to crappy production, a nuclear explosion levels your house and everything within a hundred miles of it. Thanks...

I wish I was less poor. (which I will be as soon as I get more free time...)

[Aegix Drakan]

granted, but all your money gets taken by some stupid cult.

-_-

I wish that my graphic design teacher would stop giving us an almost impossible amount of work! We've only had trhee classes with her, and we're already exhausted! I'm so busy with it, I might not even be able to visit the gaming club because of all this work!!!

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. You no longer have all that work. Because you dropped out. Now you're a bum. And nobody asks a bum for tech support.

I wish my sister could get up on her own in the morning for school. I hate having to get up at 6am just to lay on the couch and drift in and out of consciousness while she gets ready to leave. Seriously. She's 13.

[Rulehy]

Granted, now she goes to sleep at midnight and gets up at 12:05. YOU now get 5 mins of sleep because she always wakes you up.

I wish my cold would go away! "ACHOOO"

[dimepiece]

Granted, I give you antibiotics, OMG! Your suffering from autoimmunity.
SOME BODY HELP HIM!!!

I wish the a super nova would blow up in my computer while I'm in Haidi learning the ways of canabilism. :googly:

[Aegix Drakan]

granted, but you computer gets delivered to oyu in Haiti by a foolish FedEx delivery guy, and it blow up in your face!

I wish I knew my purpose in life.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. Your purpose is to forever live on the cusp of upper-lower middle class, eternally supporting the rich, who stand upon your shoulders. They thank you for your patronage.

I wish I didn't have to go outside today and bury a dead rabbit before work. Really, it's just a rabbit. My sister has thirteen more of them.

[Rulehy]

Granted, I give you antibiotics, OMG! Your suffering from autoimmunity.
SOME BODY HELP HIM!!!

I wish the a super nova would blow up in my computer while I'm in Haidi learning the ways of canabilism.
lol

I wish I didn't have to go outside today and bury a dead rabbit before work. Really, it's just a rabbit. My sister has thirteen more of them.
Granted, it comes back from the dead and kills you and the human race. Uhg. Way to go.......Rabbit! HELP ME! Guahg!

I wish I am still living.

[zeldafan500]

I wish I am still living.
Granted but you die again roght away.
I wish i was unbanned from the chatroom in pureZC....

[Rulehy]

Granted, but the site crashes for ever so it doesn't really matter.

I wish I had better luck.

[zeldafan500]

I wish I had better luck.
granted but with your good luck you beat one of those games that say 'shoot the duck for a free PS3' and your computer gets filled with spyware and viruses.
I wish my site had more members.

[Rulehy]

granted but with your good luck you beat one of those games that say 'shoot the duck for a free PS3' and your computer gets filled with spyware and viruses.

LMAO LMAO!!!!!!!!

I wish my site had more members.
Granted, you now have 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 members and they are all hackers. You now are in a state of shock...

I wish money grows on trees.

[zeldafan500]

I wish money grows on trees.
Granted, but winter comes and all the trees lose their leaves (or money)
I wish more people would come to my site (not hackers!)

[Aegix Drakan]

granted, but all of the new people just register so they can post once to advertize something stupid.

I wish I had an airboard...

[zeldafan500]

granted but you explode.
I wish more people would come to my site, not be hackers, and not just post 1 thing to advertise something stupid.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. People come, but realize that you're a terrible sport when it comes to playing games (because you just can't let things go and continue to make terrible wishes) and subsequently, they leave. Really, man. Play along.

I wish I had a set of bongo drums.

[Limzo]

Granted, but you must make 55, 567, 223 payments of $2,683 every year for 100 years starting in 3020 and when you finally recieve your bongo drums they will just be some cheapo Donkey Kong plastic ones that attatch to your game cube to play only three games, all four of those which you must also recieve in the same method as the bongo drums AFTER you have recieved each one in turn, with ten year breaks in between and paying 20 dollars for the 10 year breaks. Therefore, you'll finally be able to use them properly by the year 3570 and after wasting $745,434,296,625. That is, if you can live that long, and/or afford it... hehehe...

I wish I was King of England and Scotland, Prince of Wales, Prime Minister of Britain, Prime Minister of Scotland, Prime Minister of Wales, and President of America, all at once.

[Aegix Drakan]

granted, but the people don't like that, and some nut attepts to assasinate you and you are forced to flee into exile in the Himalayas after only 2 days of rule.

I wish Contact (for the DS) would hurry up and get released! I'm going ballistic waiting for it to come out!

[zeldafan500]

I wish Contact (for the DS) would hurry up and get released! I'm going ballistic waiting for it to come out!
Granted but your DS rund out of batteries every time you try to play it and you cant chargi it because your charger cable is eaten by mice.
I wish I could fly with a wing cap from super mario 64.

[dimepiece]

Granted but your DS rund out of batteries every time you try to play it and you cant chargi it because your charger cable is eaten by mice.
I wish I could fly with a wing cap from super mario 64.

Granted, but you fly into the mouth of a giant koopa.
I wish opon a shooting star, that it will fly into the sun and burn up.

[Aegix Drakan]

granted, but it causes a massive solar flare, which extends all the way to earth, Ignites the atmosphere, and destroys all life!

I wish I could find my Gamecube's memory card! THERE'S A YEAR AND A HALF OF MY LIFE ON THAT CARD!

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted, but you find it in the toilet, after you had severe diarhea. If that's not bad enough, you find yourself entirely unsure of whether or not the memory card was simply lost inside the toilet, or lost inside you.

I wish it wasn't so cold inside my house. When it's 60 outside with a 20mph wind, my dad really doesn't need to open all the windows and turn on the fans. Geez!

[Limzo]

Granted, but it is now so hot that the devil rents out the spair room for an extra addition to hell, and it is also the room where you sleep, and you fall out of bed in the middle of the night and land down the stairs into hell, and are tortured for the rest of eternity.

I wish it was Christmas every day.

[Aegix Drakan]

Granted, but you have to buy everyone presents, and no one gives you any.

---

Granted, but you find it in the toilet, after you had severe diarhea. If that's not bad enough, you find yourself entirely unsure of whether or not the memory card was simply lost inside the toilet, or lost inside you.

I don't care, as long as my data is still on it!
---

I wish Limzo was a frog!

[Limzo]

Granted, but you have to carry me around on your head to school and watch all my other frog buddies eat human legs (You live in that frenchy armadillo area don't you?) and smell and poop on your brain, and no, eat your brain and replace it with bran, bran flakes, and I have to talk with a weird frenchy accent and annoy you and call you names for a year, and then you have to kiss let me be free, and after that I become Prince of Wales and have you hanged.

I wish we were all frogs.

[Aegix Drakan]

Granted, but while everyone becomes a normal frog, I become a intelligent, mega sized frog, and I get to use a big magic broadsword called the masamune, and I get to live in the middle ages, where I become knows as a great hero. thanks!

---

and after that I become Prince of Wales and have you hanged.

:glare: that's it, that's pushed me beyond my limit! It is now official, Limzo. I am now your worst enemy and I will not rest until I'm given an apology. Why, you say? :glare: because people casually flinging around the death penalty is one of my pet peeves. So watch your back...
---

I wish Limzo would stop getting on my nerves :glare:

[zeldafan500]

I wish The next fire drill in my school wasn't a drill.:D

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted, but you get trapped inside and burn to death.

I wish that I had an inventory, so I could pull items and weapons out of nowhere when I needed them.

[Limzo]

Granted, but you must become Sephiroth and explode on tuesdays.

I'm sorry Aegix.

I wish that I had two magic little fish who grant my every wish! Odd parents Fairly Odd Parents! Ya wish ya lived when you were the Lim with the Fairy God Parents!

[zeldafan500]

Granted but i see them and thay go away forever and you forget you ever had them.
I wish emulaters were legal even if you didnt own the rom you were playing.

[Limzo]

Granted, but you go to prison for dealing drugs. DON'T DO IT KIDS! Just, don't do drugs! *cries* :cry:

I wish that Zeldafan hadn't ignored Aegix's "I wish Limzo would stop getting on my nerves" wish.

[Aegix Drakan]

granted, but because they're legal, no one has any motivation to make them, so, you can't play them at all.

---

@ limzo: -_- fine, apology accepted. *sheaths sword*

---

I wish I could live in a fun RPG. one like FFtactics advance, or something.

[zeldafan500]

granted but you get a game over and die.
I wish people stopped buying christmas stuff and putting up christmas decorations before holloween.

[Rulehy]

Granted, but you have 5 health and a Gigasour or somthin eats ya!

I wish for a faster internet.

[zeldafan500]

Granted but faster internet means viruses get to your computer faster.
I wish i could figure out how to get the star in all of the ice in snowmans land in SM64

[Aegix Drakan]

granted, but then the game bugs up, and you can never get it. EVER.

*Wait...I think I remember that one...don't you just have to jump into a crack in the ice, to get it?

I wish I could get Contact!!! the wait is killing me!!!

[zeldafan500]

Granted but your DS rund out of batteries every time you try to play it and you cant chargi it because your charger cable is eaten by mice.
I wish More peoplr besides me thought nintendo was best and sony and microsof went down and nintendo monopolizes the video gaming industry.

[Rulehy]

Ok, but suddenly, OMG, sony and microsoft KILL nintendo! NOOOO!!!!!!!

I wish I didn't have to eat out all the time. IT GETS OLD AFTER A WHILE.

[Limzo]

Granted, but people have to eat at your house and you have to cook for them.

I wish that bonfire night would come quicker! I want to celebrate the death of Guy Fawkes NOW!

[Dann Woolf]

Granted every day is Bonfire night, and you're used as the "Guy".
Not only that, you are immortal, but still feel pain.

I wish I had ghost powers.

[Limzo]

Granted, but you become Danny Phantom's arch nemesis and are hiding from him all of the time, but stalking him also because you fall in love with his best friend Sam.

I wish I knew what country Dann Woolf came from because he knows about bonfire night which the only people I've ever met that know of it are British.

[{DSG}DarkRaven]

Granted. He's from, uh, Istanistan. Yeah. That's probably a real place.


I wish I had an arm that shot doughnuts.

[Rulehy]

lol, granted, but your hand gets choped off so you can't shoot anymore. Plus you bleed so much you die.

I wish I had better jokes. (you've seen my "lame" jokes lol)

[Limzo]

Granted, but you go to prison for telling them to little kids since they are creepy jokes that make people cry.

I wish I could poop whereever I wanted and nobody care.

[Rulehy]

Granted, but you go to jail for littering. lol

I wish this thread would get pinned.

[zeldafan500]

Granted but its also locked.
I wish more people would appreciate wonkas everlasting gobstoppers. (im eating 1 now)

[Rulehy]

Granted, but now they last for 2 seconds. :'(

I wish my eyes would feel better. (I have been on the comp all morning and the screen is burning into me eyes! LOL)

[Limzo]

Granted, but you are now blind.

I wish it was tuesday.

[Rulehy]

Granted, but you fly forward in time. The pressure of moving so fast kills you!

I wish I was the best at dodge ball! In the world!

[Limzo]

Granted, but you trip over which makes you late for team pick and you end up on a one-man team on your own against everyone else and loose every match.

I wish I could switch bodies with people for a day.

[Rulehy]

Granted, to find that the person is going to war that day. You die.

I wish dial-up was faster!

[beefster09]

granted, but now it's illegal to have dial up.

I wish that I could actually finish a quest.

[zeldafan500]

Granted but it sucks and you are banned for making such a horrible quest.
I wish i could sniff highlighters without it having bad effects.

[beefster09]

Granted, but you get run over by a car the next time you cross the street.

I wish I was 16 so I can get a drivers license.

[Rulehy]

Granted, but you lose it because you die in a crash.

I wish this wish has NO bad effects! lol

[likesallusions]

Granted, but you wasted the wish on not wanting bad side effects.

I wish I can get this one picture drawn and colored before Friday. And it's already turning out not like I had planned. -.-'

[Rulehy]

Granted, it is very nicely drawn and colored but the art teacher hates you so you gat an F anyway.

I wish I was the smartest in the world and no bad stuff happend from this.