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carrot red
09-01-2005, 12:48 PM
Google Announces Plan To Destroy All Information It Can't Index. (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40076)

For the link clicking impaired:


The new project, dubbed Google Purge, will join such popular services as Google Images, Google News, and Google Maps, which catalogs the entire surface of the Earth using high-resolution satellites.

As a part of Purge's first phase, executives will destroy all copyrighted materials that cannot be searched by Google.


As a part of Phase One operations, Google executives will permanently erase the hard drive of any computer that is not already indexed by the Google Desktop Search.

"Google finally has what it needs to catalog the DNA of every organism on Earth," said analyst Imran Kahn of J.P. Morgan Chase. "Of course, some people might not want their DNA indexed. Hence, the robot army. It's crazy, it's brilliant—typical Google."

Google's robot army is rumored to include some 4 million cybernetic search-and-destroy units, each capable of capturing and scanning up to 100 humans per day. Said co-founder Sergey Brin: "The scanning will be relatively painless. Hey, it's Google. It'll be fun to be scanned by a Googlebot. But in the event people resist, the robots are programmed to liquify the brain."
Quote:


Soon," Brin added, "we'll make dreams clickable, or destroy them forever."

Brilliant! : p

Rainman
09-01-2005, 12:58 PM
All must give in or be destroyed! Google is the path to a better tomorrow! All enemies of the Google are enemies of progress and peace!

SixTen
09-01-2005, 01:07 PM
How do you know about my evil plan to take over the human race? Clearly information was leaked and someone will die for it!

theplustwo
09-01-2005, 01:59 PM
I love The Onion. :)

Great Warrior
09-02-2005, 05:35 AM
”A year ago, Google offered to scan every book on the planet for its Google Print project. Now, they are promising to burn the rest,”
Don't miss the launch of the new social netscorching service, Yahoo! 451. Insert obligatory "Feedburner" joke here.

I love the pig flying month signature.