Glitch
08-29-2005, 03:25 PM
I was browsing thru the WoW Silverhand forums today and came across these. I could not stop laughing. Read these all to the tune of the Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" Commercials.
MR. LAZY HUNTER
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. Lazy Hunter
(Mr. Lazy Hunter)
When the going gets tough, you get lazy. Why use all those skills that involve your ranged weapon when you can auto-attack and Raptor Strike instead?
(I don't even know what Viper Sting does lolz)
While other pets go around with names like "Smokey" and "Ether," you've decided that "Cat" is the perfect name for your Winterspring Tiger.
(Thinking makes my head hurt :( )
Why bother buying some more ammo when you can bug your friendly neighborhood Paladin for some?
(Hey buddy, you're an engineer, right?)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Lazy Hunter, because if doing things were a sin, you'd be an angel.
(Mr. Lazy Hunterrrrr)
MR. STAND THERE DOING NOTHING DRUID
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. Stand There Doing Nothing Druid
(Mr. Stand There Doing Nothing Druid)
Not content with doing any kind of DPS during fights, you'd rather just stand there instead.
(But I really do need Mograine's Might over my Illusionary Rod!)
When a battle is raging around you, you stand there, ever focused on those green bars.
(THEIR LIFE MIGHT FALL BELOW 90% ANY SECOND!)
Were it not for your occassional Rejuvenations, we'd have thought you were AFK during that last boss fight.
(Improved Rejuvenation FTW!!!!!!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light and savor it Mr. Stand There Doing Nothing Druid, because if there's one thing you can do well, it's stay in place for long periods of time.
(Mr. Stand There Doing Nothing Druiddddd)
MR. TWO-HANDER IN AN INSTANCE WARRIOR
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. Two-Hander In An Instance Warrior
(Mr. Two-Hander In An Instance Warrior)
Your only job in the group is to keep aggro on yourself but somehow you manage to fail miserably at every turn.
(Your brother is a teal tomato!)
Why wear a shield that adds 2,000 Armor when your Axe of the Shallow Sea adds +3 DPS over your one-hander?
(More damage is how you hold aggro right?)
With you in berserking stance the whole run, your group tramples the instance like pros with only 2 deaths a pull.
(They should stop doing things if they don't want to get hit!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light O Sultan of the DPS, because at the end of the day all that really matters is that you proved you did more damage than the rogue 4 levels lower than you.
(Mr. Two-Hander In An Instance Warriorrrrr)
Mr. AoE Spam Tanking Mage
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. AoE Spam Tanking Mage
(Mr. AoE Spam Tanking Mage)
When the going gets tough, you get CRAZY. Why use all those ice abilities with low aggro when you can spam cobustion, blast wave, fireballs, pyroblasts, flame strike, and insta-arcane explosions?(I don't even know why mages would choose ice LOLZOR weaklings, I can out DPS EVERYTING)
When you just press random keys with AoEs to out DPS the entire group and look like your attention is on the raid.
(Thinking makes my head hurt :( )
Why bother speccing low aggro ice? That's minus four damage spells...
(Hey buddy, you're on fire)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. AoE Spam Tanking Mage, because if there was an award for getting aggro you should have it.
(Mr. AoE Spam Tanking Mageeeeeeeee)
Auto Attack Paladin
Today we salute you Auto Attack Paladin!
(its your best skill)
When the battle gets going, you jump right into the thick of things swinging your weapon away.
(DPS is victory!)
Why bother using all of your "useless" skills like Cleanse and Blessing of Protection on the Priest gettting smashed.
(My sheilds are all for meeee!)
You dont bother with silly things line +int or Mana.
(Who needs it!)
So swing on Auto Attack Paladin and crack open a cold Bud Light, because without you, who would roll on the Paladin drops.
(Auto Attack Paladiiiiiin!)
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. Leeroy Jenkins
(Mr. Leeroy Jenkins!)
You are the man who gets what he wants
(I want those Devout Shoulders!)
Because we all know those shoulders would help you heal much much better.
You follow noone's plan but your own, charging blindly into the egg room.
(Leeeeeeeeeeeerrrooy Jenkiiiins)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr Jenkins, because you are more well known among paladins than Uther Lightbringer.
(Mr. Leeroy Jeeeeenkiiins)
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. Mindcontrol everything for the win priest!!
(Mr. Mindcontrol everything for the win priest!!)
I'll mindcontrol everything higher level than me, who needs to heal when you are controlling NPCeeees
(But I really do need Dreadmist over my Devout, even tho warlocks are here!)
Your warrior is about to die, mindcontrol and have him bandaaaage.
(Runecloth is expensive!)
Were it not for your healing abilities you would not be in this group at all
(If I do 1dps that's 1 less heal I have to use at the end of the fight!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light and savor it Mr. Mindcontrol everything for the win priest!!
, because if there's one thing you can do well, it's mindcontrol something that the warrior cannot get off you with a crowbaaaar!
(Mr. Mindcontrol everything for the win priest!!)
MS. CYNICAL PRIEST
Bud Light Presents Real People of Genius
(Real People of Genius)
Today we salute you Ms. Cynical Priest
(Ms. Cynical Priest)
You've made it up to at least level 5 with every class, so that makes you a pro at every one of them.
(lol I didn't even know rogues got poisons)
While other people don't care how others play, you make sure everyone around you knows what you think.
(ARGH I'm grouped with fricken idiots!)
You even go so far as to make a post on the forums about your displeasure.
(Maybe they'll read it if I make it funny, too!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Ms. Cynical Priest, because if it weren't for you, we'd have no one to put on /ignore.
(Ms Cynical Priesttttt)
MR. I CAN PILE ON LOADS OF DPS AND NOT USE MY AGGRO MANAGING MOVES AND THEN #@%$! WHEN I DIE ROGUE
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. I Can Pile On Loads Of DPS And Not Use My Aggro Managing Moves And Then #@%$! When I Die Rogue
(Mr. I Can Pile On Loads Of DPS And Not Use My Aggro Managing Moves And Then #@%$! When I Die Rogue)
You've got the best DPS in the game, why not use it?
(Dual Wielding Felstrikers makes me pimp!)
But when the monsters start hitting you, you keep on chugging and ignore your Feint move, because DPS is why the group has you and using that ability would lower it.
(My defense skill just increased to 300!)
At the end when you're the only one dead and your group is standing over you victorius, the only logical thing to do is to blame them.
(I don't care if the priest was OOM thanks to me!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light and down it as fast as you can Mr. I Can Pile On Loads Of DPS And Not Use My Aggro Managing Moves And Then #@%$! When I Die Rogue, because you've only got few precious seconds to enjoy it.
(Mr. I Can Pile On Loads Of DPS And Not Use My Aggro Managing Moves And Then #@%$! When I Die Rooooogue)
Mr. I Know Your Class Better Than My Own Guy.
Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. I Know Your Class Better Than My Own Guy.
(Mr. I Know Your Class Better Than My Own Guy.)
You've played at least one class up into the high levels; that makes you an expert on everything.
(Hunter, summon your Infernal!)
You played it for a while in beta, and they haven't changed anything since then, so you still know best.
(Stop ninja-looting the soul shards!)
It's your duty to let everyone know the best way to do things, no matter how much they tell you they can't. Don't let 'em argue, because you know you're right.
(Just change into eagle form and fly away, druid!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. I Know Your Class Better Than My Own Guy, because if ignorance is bliss, you've cornered the market on joy.
(Mr. I Know Your Class Better Than My Own Guy.)
Mr. Warsong Gulch Honor Farmer
Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Warsong Gulch Honor Farmer.
(Mr. Warsong Gulch Honor Farmer.)
You don't eat, you don't sleep. You're in the Gulch 24/7 ripping apart other players.
(Look at me, I'm Grand Poobah rank, baby!)
You don't stay for the end of the fight, you just /afk out so you can get back in the queue that much faster.
(Don't even ask me to join the raid, now.)
Your gear is entirely PvP rewards because, hey, you've earned the right to wear it.
(And it's got a nifty cool glow, too!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh Baron of the Battlegrounds, because you're the only one that can purchase it from the PvP rewards vendor.
(Mr. Warsong Gulch Honor Farmer.)
MR. LAZY HUNTER
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. Lazy Hunter
(Mr. Lazy Hunter)
When the going gets tough, you get lazy. Why use all those skills that involve your ranged weapon when you can auto-attack and Raptor Strike instead?
(I don't even know what Viper Sting does lolz)
While other pets go around with names like "Smokey" and "Ether," you've decided that "Cat" is the perfect name for your Winterspring Tiger.
(Thinking makes my head hurt :( )
Why bother buying some more ammo when you can bug your friendly neighborhood Paladin for some?
(Hey buddy, you're an engineer, right?)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Lazy Hunter, because if doing things were a sin, you'd be an angel.
(Mr. Lazy Hunterrrrr)
MR. STAND THERE DOING NOTHING DRUID
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. Stand There Doing Nothing Druid
(Mr. Stand There Doing Nothing Druid)
Not content with doing any kind of DPS during fights, you'd rather just stand there instead.
(But I really do need Mograine's Might over my Illusionary Rod!)
When a battle is raging around you, you stand there, ever focused on those green bars.
(THEIR LIFE MIGHT FALL BELOW 90% ANY SECOND!)
Were it not for your occassional Rejuvenations, we'd have thought you were AFK during that last boss fight.
(Improved Rejuvenation FTW!!!!!!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light and savor it Mr. Stand There Doing Nothing Druid, because if there's one thing you can do well, it's stay in place for long periods of time.
(Mr. Stand There Doing Nothing Druiddddd)
MR. TWO-HANDER IN AN INSTANCE WARRIOR
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. Two-Hander In An Instance Warrior
(Mr. Two-Hander In An Instance Warrior)
Your only job in the group is to keep aggro on yourself but somehow you manage to fail miserably at every turn.
(Your brother is a teal tomato!)
Why wear a shield that adds 2,000 Armor when your Axe of the Shallow Sea adds +3 DPS over your one-hander?
(More damage is how you hold aggro right?)
With you in berserking stance the whole run, your group tramples the instance like pros with only 2 deaths a pull.
(They should stop doing things if they don't want to get hit!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light O Sultan of the DPS, because at the end of the day all that really matters is that you proved you did more damage than the rogue 4 levels lower than you.
(Mr. Two-Hander In An Instance Warriorrrrr)
Mr. AoE Spam Tanking Mage
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. AoE Spam Tanking Mage
(Mr. AoE Spam Tanking Mage)
When the going gets tough, you get CRAZY. Why use all those ice abilities with low aggro when you can spam cobustion, blast wave, fireballs, pyroblasts, flame strike, and insta-arcane explosions?(I don't even know why mages would choose ice LOLZOR weaklings, I can out DPS EVERYTING)
When you just press random keys with AoEs to out DPS the entire group and look like your attention is on the raid.
(Thinking makes my head hurt :( )
Why bother speccing low aggro ice? That's minus four damage spells...
(Hey buddy, you're on fire)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. AoE Spam Tanking Mage, because if there was an award for getting aggro you should have it.
(Mr. AoE Spam Tanking Mageeeeeeeee)
Auto Attack Paladin
Today we salute you Auto Attack Paladin!
(its your best skill)
When the battle gets going, you jump right into the thick of things swinging your weapon away.
(DPS is victory!)
Why bother using all of your "useless" skills like Cleanse and Blessing of Protection on the Priest gettting smashed.
(My sheilds are all for meeee!)
You dont bother with silly things line +int or Mana.
(Who needs it!)
So swing on Auto Attack Paladin and crack open a cold Bud Light, because without you, who would roll on the Paladin drops.
(Auto Attack Paladiiiiiin!)
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. Leeroy Jenkins
(Mr. Leeroy Jenkins!)
You are the man who gets what he wants
(I want those Devout Shoulders!)
Because we all know those shoulders would help you heal much much better.
You follow noone's plan but your own, charging blindly into the egg room.
(Leeeeeeeeeeeerrrooy Jenkiiiins)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr Jenkins, because you are more well known among paladins than Uther Lightbringer.
(Mr. Leeroy Jeeeeenkiiins)
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. Mindcontrol everything for the win priest!!
(Mr. Mindcontrol everything for the win priest!!)
I'll mindcontrol everything higher level than me, who needs to heal when you are controlling NPCeeees
(But I really do need Dreadmist over my Devout, even tho warlocks are here!)
Your warrior is about to die, mindcontrol and have him bandaaaage.
(Runecloth is expensive!)
Were it not for your healing abilities you would not be in this group at all
(If I do 1dps that's 1 less heal I have to use at the end of the fight!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light and savor it Mr. Mindcontrol everything for the win priest!!
, because if there's one thing you can do well, it's mindcontrol something that the warrior cannot get off you with a crowbaaaar!
(Mr. Mindcontrol everything for the win priest!!)
MS. CYNICAL PRIEST
Bud Light Presents Real People of Genius
(Real People of Genius)
Today we salute you Ms. Cynical Priest
(Ms. Cynical Priest)
You've made it up to at least level 5 with every class, so that makes you a pro at every one of them.
(lol I didn't even know rogues got poisons)
While other people don't care how others play, you make sure everyone around you knows what you think.
(ARGH I'm grouped with fricken idiots!)
You even go so far as to make a post on the forums about your displeasure.
(Maybe they'll read it if I make it funny, too!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Ms. Cynical Priest, because if it weren't for you, we'd have no one to put on /ignore.
(Ms Cynical Priesttttt)
MR. I CAN PILE ON LOADS OF DPS AND NOT USE MY AGGRO MANAGING MOVES AND THEN #@%$! WHEN I DIE ROGUE
Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you Mr. I Can Pile On Loads Of DPS And Not Use My Aggro Managing Moves And Then #@%$! When I Die Rogue
(Mr. I Can Pile On Loads Of DPS And Not Use My Aggro Managing Moves And Then #@%$! When I Die Rogue)
You've got the best DPS in the game, why not use it?
(Dual Wielding Felstrikers makes me pimp!)
But when the monsters start hitting you, you keep on chugging and ignore your Feint move, because DPS is why the group has you and using that ability would lower it.
(My defense skill just increased to 300!)
At the end when you're the only one dead and your group is standing over you victorius, the only logical thing to do is to blame them.
(I don't care if the priest was OOM thanks to me!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light and down it as fast as you can Mr. I Can Pile On Loads Of DPS And Not Use My Aggro Managing Moves And Then #@%$! When I Die Rogue, because you've only got few precious seconds to enjoy it.
(Mr. I Can Pile On Loads Of DPS And Not Use My Aggro Managing Moves And Then #@%$! When I Die Rooooogue)
Mr. I Know Your Class Better Than My Own Guy.
Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. I Know Your Class Better Than My Own Guy.
(Mr. I Know Your Class Better Than My Own Guy.)
You've played at least one class up into the high levels; that makes you an expert on everything.
(Hunter, summon your Infernal!)
You played it for a while in beta, and they haven't changed anything since then, so you still know best.
(Stop ninja-looting the soul shards!)
It's your duty to let everyone know the best way to do things, no matter how much they tell you they can't. Don't let 'em argue, because you know you're right.
(Just change into eagle form and fly away, druid!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. I Know Your Class Better Than My Own Guy, because if ignorance is bliss, you've cornered the market on joy.
(Mr. I Know Your Class Better Than My Own Guy.)
Mr. Warsong Gulch Honor Farmer
Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Warsong Gulch Honor Farmer.
(Mr. Warsong Gulch Honor Farmer.)
You don't eat, you don't sleep. You're in the Gulch 24/7 ripping apart other players.
(Look at me, I'm Grand Poobah rank, baby!)
You don't stay for the end of the fight, you just /afk out so you can get back in the queue that much faster.
(Don't even ask me to join the raid, now.)
Your gear is entirely PvP rewards because, hey, you've earned the right to wear it.
(And it's got a nifty cool glow, too!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh Baron of the Battlegrounds, because you're the only one that can purchase it from the PvP rewards vendor.
(Mr. Warsong Gulch Honor Farmer.)