Beldaran
08-04-2005, 03:17 PM
Well, I just noticed that I have over 5000 posts. I would have a lot more, but I've spent well over half my time here being banned. At one point, I was banned for like a year.
About four years ago, when I was really getting into emulation for the first time, my good friend Doug pointed me towards a program that allowed you to not only play The Legend of Zelda on your computer, but to edit and make your own quests as well. Naturally, I was stoked. I checked out AGN and really enjoyed the program. I have never completed a quest. This is because I have been really busy with other stuff, but also because I enjoy playing people's quests so much I never get around to making my own. Also, all of my non-guitar time is usually spent either programming or reading up on some subject that has my interest. I just find it hard to make time for quest making. So, I enjoy it vicariously through everone else.
I have been a nerd all my life, but my soul was marred by a desire to be popular, to fit in, to be accepted and loved. So I was always so hurt that I was just "a geek" all through school. I was that short kid with the big head who knew the lines from Star Trek episodes, had all the DOOM maps memorized, who tutored kids in math, and who attended six grade math and reading classed in the 4th grade because he was ahead. I'm not any smarter than your average "smart" kid, but I have lots of time on my hands because I've never been very social. So I just spent a lot of time at home reading books so it appeared I was smarter than I was.
But in 11th grade, things changed. My interest in guitar, which had been percolating for a few years, culminated in actual ability. I played a bombastic guitar solo at a high school assembly and all of a sudden, I had access to the "cool people". This would prove to ruin the next 5 years of my life. I was so lonely, that I wanted to be accepted by these people. So I did musical activities that I thought would make me look cool. By the time I was a senior, I had a really hot girlfriend, I had turn down the seductive advances of a cheerleader, I was invited to all the good parties, and I was "that guitar guy" at shcool. Life was supposedely good.
But I was really unhappy. When I found Zelda Classic and AGN, I realized how badly I didn't belong with that crowd and how much I just wanted to punch their faces in. So while I never got into quest making, associating with people who shared my interests in computers and technology helped bring me back to my roots. I started programming, and eventually supported myself working as a programmer for almost two years (before moving to Texas.). As I became more and more the nerd that I truly am and always have been, my relationship with my really hot girlfriend deteriorated. When she realized that her gun slinging guitar boyfriend dressed up as Darth Vader at Star Wars movies, spent more time reading programming manuals than he did with her, and liked heavy metal better than pop music, it ended. But it was a long drawn out ending with lots of hot makeup sex, so it was ok.;)
Anyway, when I consider the life I'm living now, I'm really surprised at how the entrance of AGN into my life sparked a sort of personal revolution. It had nothing to do with AGN specifically, but AGN sort of reminded me that for the 17 years before becoming "cool", I was a computer dork. Yeah.
Currently, I am in between both jobs and school for a bit. So I spend upwards of 50 hours a week on the computer, writing programs, learning, and reading. It is so fulfilling. The rest of my time is spent practicing guitar, working out, or trying to beat my high score on Galaga or Pacman. My brain is under constant stimulus, whether it's to learn a new scale technique on the guitar, the twitch and fire adrenaline of a video game, another chapter in my math book, or some new graphics API or programming language I am assimilating. Despite that I have to spend a certain amount of time on either a job or school, I am very happy.
But this is what's weird. In my zone of mental stimulus, I don't make time to spend with people. In fact, I really don't enjoy spending time with people in person at all. I literally finish my work, and then work on my own stuff until it's time for sleep. This means I am either working, programming, or practicing guitar for roughly 110 hours a week. I think that ten years from now, I will be not only a very accomplished musician, but a very accomplished programmer. It will be interseting to see.
I will also be a socially stunted freakazoid with an unnaturally developed skill at video games. =)
I guess what I'm saying is, as sad and twisted as it may be, my only social stimulus is the internet, which at the moment consists mainly of AGN. How fucked up is that?
Well, this post doesn't make much sense, so I'm just going to cap it off with a bunch of random images that represent things I think are awesome.
http://www.lordnight.blogger.com.br/metallica-live-lisbon.jpg
http://www.realsimsonline.com/images/uploads/1896295883_1999995774_eddie-van-halen_80.jpg
http://www.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/b/b2/256px-John_Carmack_working.jpg
http://www.pts.com/prodimages/flxlint.jpg
http://www.mpassociates.gr/mathematica/images/m5-main.gif
http://www.sm5sxl.net/~mats/graphics/images/xpm/doom/doom.png
http://www.jasonward.ca/Pictures/Home%20Page%20Graphics/MusicoftheMoment/ACDC-LiveatDonington%20-20040219.jpg
http://www.burnersound.de/bilder/bilderfuemag/dimebag.jpg
http://www.musicfanclubs.org/rage/pictures/live/live10.jpg
http://www.igrograd.com.ua/images/shadowofdarkness/QforG04.jpg
http://www3.telus.net/public/mehwulfe/kyan/misc/Fave%20Boxart%20-%20Chrono%20Trigger.jpg
http://www.gamecritics.com/feature/artgallery/diablo2/art01.jpg
http://www.americansupersports.com/Product%20Images/b%20ms%20pac%20galaga.jpg
http://www.2nilssons.com/Things%20to%20Share/Links/Hendrix%20-%20Kiss%20This%20Guy.jpg
http://www.rfgeneration.com/images/games/U-027/gs/U-027-S-07620-A.jpg
http://www.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/2/23/Zelda_NES_screenshot.jpg
http://www.itsgroovy.com/geoc/animep/pl-05.jpg
http://home.sport.rr.com/gregsgraphics/Stevie.jpg
Thanks for 5000 posts worth of memories! =) Here's to 5000 more. (unless I get a life. ...nah. :laughing: )
About four years ago, when I was really getting into emulation for the first time, my good friend Doug pointed me towards a program that allowed you to not only play The Legend of Zelda on your computer, but to edit and make your own quests as well. Naturally, I was stoked. I checked out AGN and really enjoyed the program. I have never completed a quest. This is because I have been really busy with other stuff, but also because I enjoy playing people's quests so much I never get around to making my own. Also, all of my non-guitar time is usually spent either programming or reading up on some subject that has my interest. I just find it hard to make time for quest making. So, I enjoy it vicariously through everone else.
I have been a nerd all my life, but my soul was marred by a desire to be popular, to fit in, to be accepted and loved. So I was always so hurt that I was just "a geek" all through school. I was that short kid with the big head who knew the lines from Star Trek episodes, had all the DOOM maps memorized, who tutored kids in math, and who attended six grade math and reading classed in the 4th grade because he was ahead. I'm not any smarter than your average "smart" kid, but I have lots of time on my hands because I've never been very social. So I just spent a lot of time at home reading books so it appeared I was smarter than I was.
But in 11th grade, things changed. My interest in guitar, which had been percolating for a few years, culminated in actual ability. I played a bombastic guitar solo at a high school assembly and all of a sudden, I had access to the "cool people". This would prove to ruin the next 5 years of my life. I was so lonely, that I wanted to be accepted by these people. So I did musical activities that I thought would make me look cool. By the time I was a senior, I had a really hot girlfriend, I had turn down the seductive advances of a cheerleader, I was invited to all the good parties, and I was "that guitar guy" at shcool. Life was supposedely good.
But I was really unhappy. When I found Zelda Classic and AGN, I realized how badly I didn't belong with that crowd and how much I just wanted to punch their faces in. So while I never got into quest making, associating with people who shared my interests in computers and technology helped bring me back to my roots. I started programming, and eventually supported myself working as a programmer for almost two years (before moving to Texas.). As I became more and more the nerd that I truly am and always have been, my relationship with my really hot girlfriend deteriorated. When she realized that her gun slinging guitar boyfriend dressed up as Darth Vader at Star Wars movies, spent more time reading programming manuals than he did with her, and liked heavy metal better than pop music, it ended. But it was a long drawn out ending with lots of hot makeup sex, so it was ok.;)
Anyway, when I consider the life I'm living now, I'm really surprised at how the entrance of AGN into my life sparked a sort of personal revolution. It had nothing to do with AGN specifically, but AGN sort of reminded me that for the 17 years before becoming "cool", I was a computer dork. Yeah.
Currently, I am in between both jobs and school for a bit. So I spend upwards of 50 hours a week on the computer, writing programs, learning, and reading. It is so fulfilling. The rest of my time is spent practicing guitar, working out, or trying to beat my high score on Galaga or Pacman. My brain is under constant stimulus, whether it's to learn a new scale technique on the guitar, the twitch and fire adrenaline of a video game, another chapter in my math book, or some new graphics API or programming language I am assimilating. Despite that I have to spend a certain amount of time on either a job or school, I am very happy.
But this is what's weird. In my zone of mental stimulus, I don't make time to spend with people. In fact, I really don't enjoy spending time with people in person at all. I literally finish my work, and then work on my own stuff until it's time for sleep. This means I am either working, programming, or practicing guitar for roughly 110 hours a week. I think that ten years from now, I will be not only a very accomplished musician, but a very accomplished programmer. It will be interseting to see.
I will also be a socially stunted freakazoid with an unnaturally developed skill at video games. =)
I guess what I'm saying is, as sad and twisted as it may be, my only social stimulus is the internet, which at the moment consists mainly of AGN. How fucked up is that?
Well, this post doesn't make much sense, so I'm just going to cap it off with a bunch of random images that represent things I think are awesome.
http://www.lordnight.blogger.com.br/metallica-live-lisbon.jpg
http://www.realsimsonline.com/images/uploads/1896295883_1999995774_eddie-van-halen_80.jpg
http://www.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/b/b2/256px-John_Carmack_working.jpg
http://www.pts.com/prodimages/flxlint.jpg
http://www.mpassociates.gr/mathematica/images/m5-main.gif
http://www.sm5sxl.net/~mats/graphics/images/xpm/doom/doom.png
http://www.jasonward.ca/Pictures/Home%20Page%20Graphics/MusicoftheMoment/ACDC-LiveatDonington%20-20040219.jpg
http://www.burnersound.de/bilder/bilderfuemag/dimebag.jpg
http://www.musicfanclubs.org/rage/pictures/live/live10.jpg
http://www.igrograd.com.ua/images/shadowofdarkness/QforG04.jpg
http://www3.telus.net/public/mehwulfe/kyan/misc/Fave%20Boxart%20-%20Chrono%20Trigger.jpg
http://www.gamecritics.com/feature/artgallery/diablo2/art01.jpg
http://www.americansupersports.com/Product%20Images/b%20ms%20pac%20galaga.jpg
http://www.2nilssons.com/Things%20to%20Share/Links/Hendrix%20-%20Kiss%20This%20Guy.jpg
http://www.rfgeneration.com/images/games/U-027/gs/U-027-S-07620-A.jpg
http://www.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/2/23/Zelda_NES_screenshot.jpg
http://www.itsgroovy.com/geoc/animep/pl-05.jpg
http://home.sport.rr.com/gregsgraphics/Stevie.jpg
Thanks for 5000 posts worth of memories! =) Here's to 5000 more. (unless I get a life. ...nah. :laughing: )