Beldaran
07-27-2005, 03:40 PM
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A doberman!
Q: Why does New Jersey have the highest amount of Toxic waste and
California the highest amount of lawyers?
A: New Jersey had First Choice!
Q: What's the difference between a carp and a lawyer?
A: One's a scum-sucking bottom dweller, and the other's a fish.
Q: What do you call 20 lawyers buried up to their neck in the sand?
A: Not enough sand!
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer
in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.
A2: Take his head out of the toilet.
A3: No. Good!
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand
Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigalo?
A: A gigalo only screws one person at a time.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: Every day a rooster starts his day by clucking defiant...
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why shouldn't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
A: Nothing, there are some things that even a pig won't do.
Q: What do you call 100 lawyers jumping out of an airplane?
A: Skeet!
Q: Why don't lawyers don't lay on the beach?
A: Because they are afraid a cat will come by and cover them up.
Q: Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet under instead of 6 feet under?
A: Because deep down they are really nice people.
Q: Why are leopards sometimes observed eating elephant dung?
A: To wash away the taste of a lawyer they just ate!
Q: How many lawyer jokes are going around the Web?
A: Three! (All the rest are true!)
A: A good start!
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A doberman!
Q: Why does New Jersey have the highest amount of Toxic waste and
California the highest amount of lawyers?
A: New Jersey had First Choice!
Q: What's the difference between a carp and a lawyer?
A: One's a scum-sucking bottom dweller, and the other's a fish.
Q: What do you call 20 lawyers buried up to their neck in the sand?
A: Not enough sand!
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer
in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.
A2: Take his head out of the toilet.
A3: No. Good!
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand
Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigalo?
A: A gigalo only screws one person at a time.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: Every day a rooster starts his day by clucking defiant...
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why shouldn't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
A: Nothing, there are some things that even a pig won't do.
Q: What do you call 100 lawyers jumping out of an airplane?
A: Skeet!
Q: Why don't lawyers don't lay on the beach?
A: Because they are afraid a cat will come by and cover them up.
Q: Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet under instead of 6 feet under?
A: Because deep down they are really nice people.
Q: Why are leopards sometimes observed eating elephant dung?
A: To wash away the taste of a lawyer they just ate!
Q: How many lawyer jokes are going around the Web?
A: Three! (All the rest are true!)