RPG Cliches

[Cloral]

This is a little different from the one that was posted here before:

http://www.project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

[vegeta1215]

I've read something like that before. Much of it is pretty funny, and many of the rules very true (Bed Bed Bed rule for example), but some of them appear to be too game-specific. I would like to see a list of games where the cliche is used for some of those.

[Cloral]

I got that feeling too with some of them, like "Gender Equality, Part 3 (Luna Rule)" - I can't recall seeing that in any RPG I've played. But some of them like Materials Science 101 and Apocalypse Any Time Now are very true. Others weren't really the result of design but of space or time limitations - Puddin' Tame Rule, for instance. How could you expect every person in the world to say something different each time you spoke to them?

[Axel]

I've seen them all. Actaully, every one of them brought up some game or other.

[Master Ghaleon]

"The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him. "
:evil:

[Darth Marsden]

http://www.project-apollo.net/text/img/ta-02.jpg
Sadly, this will now end up in my sig.

EDIT:
Whenever there is a sequel to an RPG that features the same main character as the previous game, that character will always start with beginner skills. Everything that they learned in the previous game will be gone, as will all their ultra-powerful weapons and equipment.
This is my biggest irritation with RPGs. Also, when you start the game, you're at level 1. You have no skill in anything. Bollocks. The only game I can think of that doesn't follow this rule is FFVII, where you start as a level 6. Why don't more games do this?

[deathbyhokie]

This is my biggest irritation with RPGs. Also, when you start the game, you're at level 1. You have no skill in anything. Bollocks. The only game I can think of that doesn't follow this rule is FFVII, where you start as a level 6. Why don't more games do this?

Baldur's gate lets you carry over your characters. and the Quest For Glory series (an old sierra game) also allowed you to carry an old character over, but they made the stats higher each game (so your once impressive 100 in climbing was no longer so impressive)

[fatcatfan]

Chrono Trigger let you start over with pretty much everything...

Yeah, Baldur's Gate even made a point of adding something extra:
http://www.planetbaldursgate.com/bg2/walkthrough/bmu/golden_pantaloons.shtml

[Axel]

In Golden Sun 2 your original party has everything they did at the end of the last game (assuming you beat it)

[ShadowTiger]

Same thing with Ultima 7. The Avatar, Iolo, Shamino, and Dupre all arrive on this ... boat ... thing, beached, and wonder where the hell they are. All of them are totally decked out in Magic Armor, the best weapons you can find, and their old stuff from The Black Gate.

Then, of course, you hit the lightning storm. :rolleyes: BAM. Shamino trades places with a bear's skull, Iolo gets sent to jail for appearing like a witch, and Dupre is suddenly wearing a woman's slippers. Dangit. :p

Best game ever, yo.




Some Call Me... Tim?
Good guys will only have first names, and bad guys will only have last names. Any bad guy who only has a first name will become a good guy at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be mentioned in the manual but they will never be referred to in the story.Magus, Chrono Trigger...


Nominal Rule
Any character who actually has a name is important in some way and must be sought out. However, if you are referred to as a part of a posessive noun ("Crono's Mom") then you are superfluous.Morrowind, Grandia, Ultima, ...


The Compulsories
There's always a fire dungeon, an ice dungeon, a sewer maze, a misty forest, a derelict ghost ship, a mine, a glowing crystal maze, an ancient temple full of traps, a magic floating castle, and a technological dungeon.And that's what just makes it so damn fun. - -,

[Darth Marsden]

Was that really Chrono's surname? Funny how I've never thought of it that way before.

And why can't the hero have a normal name? It's always something fancy or pointless like Neo or Squall or whatever. What's wrong with Neil ort Michael?

[Axel]

Again, Golden Sun. Your heroes are named Isaac and Felix. Not common names, by any means, but normal.

"So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
You will have to kill the evil villain at least twice at the end of the game. First the villain will look like a person or some creature and be rather easy to kill. Then he will grow to about 50 times the hero's size and be much harder to kill.

That one I've seen way too many times. Although, flying around trying to kill that brain was hillarious.

[Kairyu]

Seen the list before, but it's still relevant. For instance, Tales of Symphonia suffers from:
2, 3, 4 (with a different girl, but...), 5, 6, most of 9, 10, 15, 16, 17, 19, 20, 22, 24, 26, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 37, 39, 40, 42, 44, 45, 48, 49, 51, 52, 55, 57, 58, 59, 60, 62, 63, 65, 67, 68, 69, 72, 73, 79, 83 (I don't get why this counts, though), 85, 87, 88, 89, 91, 93, 94, 95, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 104, 106, 108, 109, 110, 111, 116, 118, 122, 123, 126, 127,129, 131, 135, 136, 139, 140, 141, 142, 144, 145, 156, 157, 161, 162, 163, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170 (!#$%@!), 171, 174, 175, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 185, 186, 187, 189, and 190.
That's... 102 and most of another (number 9).

[MacWeirdo42]

I got that feeling too with some of them, like "Gender Equality, Part 3 (Luna Rule)" - I can't recall seeing that in any RPG I've played. But some of them like Materials Science 101 and Apocalypse Any Time Now are very true. Others weren't really the result of design but of space or time limitations - Puddin' Tame Rule, for instance. How could you expect every person in the world to say something different each time you spoke to them?

Frankly, I wouldn't mind the Puddin' Tame Rule, if for instance, they had a set of say maybe five phrases like "Hello, stranger." or something like that which were selected at random when you talked to them. However, it's especially annoying when a character is giving you a "clue," especially if the translation isn't the best. The zelda series stands out in my mind, in particular. "Master using it and you can have this." WHAT!? "I am Error." I THINK I FOUND A BUG - WHAT DO I DO?

[vegeta1215]

Was that really Chrono's surname? Funny how I've never thought of it that way before.

And why can't the hero have a normal name? It's always something fancy or pointless like Neo or Squall or whatever. What's wrong with Neil ort Michael?

Chrono Trigger is the name of the device (the time egg) that you use near the end of the game to bring back Crono. They never give a last name for Crono, at least I don't think they do. Magus's original name is Janus. His last name may be Zeal...cause he's Scala's younger brother.

[VT_Hokie_Fan]

Seventh Law of Travel
When on a voyage to another continent, the journey will last only as long as it takes you to talk to all the other passengers and the captain.

Last Law of Travel (Big Joe Rule)
As has been described, you must endure great trials just to get from town to town: locating different vehicles, operating ancient transport mechanisms, evading military blockades, the list goes on. But that's just you. Every other character in the game seems to have no trouble getting to any place in the world on a moment's notice.

# If You Meet The Buddha In A Random Encounter, Kill Him!
When you're out wandering around the world, you must kill everything you meet. People, animals, plants, insects, fire hydrants, small cottages, anything and everything is just plain out to get you. It may be because of your rampant kleptomania (see Garrett's Principle.)
Damn I wish every game had that

Xenobiology Rule
The predatory species of the world will include representatives of all of the following: giant spiders, giant scorpions, giant snakes, giant beetles, wolves, squid, fish that float in midair, gargoyles, golems, carnivorous plants, chimeras, griffons, cockatrices, hydras, minotaurs, burrowing things with big claws, things that can paralyse you, things that can put you to sleep, things that can petrify you, at least twenty different creatures with poisonous tentacles, and dragons. Always dragons.

Three Females Rule
There will always be either one or three female characters in the hero's party, no matter how many male characters there are.
*Chrono Trigger*

# Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.

# Second Law of Fashion
Any character's costume, no matter how skimpy, complicated, or simply outlandish, is always completely suitable to wear when climbing around in caves, hiking across the desert, and slogging through the sewers. It will continue to be completely suitable right afterwards when said character goes to meet the King.
My favorite cliche.

Pinch Hitter Rule
Whenever a member of the hero's team is killed or retires, no matter how unique or special he or she was there is a good chance someone will show up to replace them that has exactly the same abilities and can use the same weapons with the same proficiency.
Legend Of Dragoon anyone?

Vivi's Spellbook Principle
Over the course of the game, you will spend countless hours learning between twenty and one hundred skills and/or spells, approximately three of which will still be useful by the end of the game.
Every RPG?

# "Mommy, why didn't they just use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?"
Don't expect battle mechanics to carry over into the "real world."

They forgot two key ones though
"Even if a giant monster of some sort is coming to attack the village/town/city/etc., the shopkeep will not loan or give you a weapon that could kill the giant monster for any less than 100,000 gold"
and
"Video game characters don't use the bathroom. Or shower. Or eat, unless a cut-scene requires that they do so."

This is a new bookmark for me :D.

[Axel]

How about:

1st Law of Medicine: Screw Hippocrates
Every malady has exactly one method of treatment. No more and no less. In addition, whatever causes this malady will always have the cure handy, apparently for use if it stings itself.
2nd Law of Medicine: Screw Lister
The only method of being infected with a disease, or other malady, is to be attacked by something that can deliberately infect you. You can never spread the condition to others and they cannot give it to you. Perhaps this is why you never bathe.
3rd Law of Medicine: Screw Pasteur
There is only one of ever form of malady. No matter how many different kinds of snakes you encounter, they will all infect you with the exact same poison. Presumably this makes snake-venom antidote just as good against food poisoning. But since you never eat there's no worry....

Theory of Evolution
Related species are not only similar, they are nearly identical. The only method of telling the difference between them is a small difference of color or some other minor change. That and their statistics are all different. Perhaps this is why all snakes use the same venom.
Corollary: Despite how similar members of the same family look, you will never encounter anything even remotely similar outside that family. Apparently anything that might have bridged the gaps has died out.

[Darth Marsden]

Swing Low, Sweet Chariot

This is an ancient, secret technique which allows anyone good enough with a sword to be able to inflict damage on your foes, despite the sword never actually coming in contact with the enemy. This is appearing less and less in recent times, so presumably nobody's bothering to pass the technique down to their children/students.

[Kairyu]

Anybody Have Some Ketchup?
You can eat 99 Turkeys in a row. Non-stop. You won't get sick, or get tired of eating Turkey. Same for any other food.

FDA Requirements?
If you buy an item from one store, it will be exactly the same as from any other store. The man in the hut miles from anywhere will make potions with exactly the same ingredients in exactly the same quantities for exactly the same price as the man in the big city trading outpost.

What's this Long, Pointy Thing Again?
The main character, despite his natural skill with all things swordlike (See Silly Squal), starts the game unaware of which button is used to slash with a sword. Fortunately, a member of your party will also always remember the button, and will tell the hero again.

The Law of Inverse Memory:
The more important a historical event was, the fewer the people who actually remember about it.

[King Aquamentus]

They forgot the one about getting swallowed by a gigantic sea creature and having to get it to spit, blow, or sneeze you out (Startropics whale rule)

[Darth Marsden]

Hey Old-skool, you reminded me of a good one -

High Tide
Your heroes don't know how to swim. Hardly anyone does, in fact. If anyone should happen to end up in the drink, they shall probably drown. That's what you get for not paying out on swimming lessons, cheapskates.

[Axel]

Corollary, the Tiddus rule:
However, if you do know how to swim then you suffer no limits in the attempt. Not only will you never tire, but no matter how long you remain under the surface you will never drown. Perhaps not needing to breathe is related to not eating or sleeping on a regular basis.

[Cloral]

Property Value (the Figaro Castle principle):
There will always be plenty of pristine land available for building houses and towns. Yet for some unknown reason, the people always insist on building a city or castle in the middle of the desert - even if there is no oasis there.

[Darth Marsden]

Has this one been mentioned?

It's not much, but it's home.
Towns/Villages will consist of around 6 houses. Cities, however, will have thousands of buildings, a mere 5 of which you will be able to enter. All of these will lack proper health-care, educational and welfare facilities, so for god's sake don't get sick or lose your job.

[punkonjunk1024]

THIS IS FREAKING HYSTERICAL.
The insane clown or jester who will turn out to be surprisingly difficult to subdue.

Buildings are much, much larger on the inside than on the outside, and that doesn't even count the secret maze of tunnels behind the clock in the basement.

Your characters must always keep both feet on the ground and will be unable to climb over low rock ledges, railings, chairs, cats, slightly differently-colored ground, or any other trivial objects which may happen to be in their way. Note that this condition will not prevent your characters from jumping from railroad car to railroad car later in the game.
A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle.
Every powerful character you attempt to seek aid from will first insist upon "testing your strength" in a battle to the death.
There are always giant robots. Always.



I think alot of this is final fantasy, or other squaresoft games...
Suprisingly, fire emblem is exempt from alot of these. BEST RPG SERIES EVA. Or at least, exempt from alot of the ones that apply to others.
Whats really sad... is alot of this applies to the scenerio I have set for the ZC quest I'm working on... :sweat:

This does remind me though... What the hell was up with ziegfried in FF6? I couldn't figure him out...


Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely (Althena Rule)
If a good guy is manipulated to the side of evil, they will suddenly find a new inner strength that will enable them to wipe out your whole party with a wave of their hand.
All Is Forgiven (Nash Rule)
However, when the trusted member of your party turns against you, do not give it a second thought. They will return to your side after they're done with their amnesia/mind control/hidden noble goal that caused them to give away all your omnipotent mystical artifacts.

Heh, I just played through lunar legend. Great game.

[VT_Hokie_Fan]

They forgot more too.

The Invalid Rule
Many monsters will carry swords, shields, or items, 0 of which they can use during the course of battle.
and...
The Infinite Backpack
The hero can carry a giant dinosaur head, 99 potions, 99 mana potions, 99 antidotes, 6 short swords, a spear, a mace, two shields, a staff, 6 pairs of boots, three hats, a helmet, a crown, and three bastard swords;However, this will not slow him down or hinder him at any point, no matter what.
:) Final Fantasy

[Darth Marsden]

Heh. We should make our own list.

Reach for the stars
If the world is even remotely technologically advanced, then you will, at some point during your adventure, go into space. If the world is not advanced at all, then you will end at the bottom of an ocean, where there will be a once fabulous kingdom that has since fallen into ruin. If you're very, VERY lucky, you'll go to both.

The laws of physics do not apply to any of these situations - IE: The underwater palace will not be under any threat of water pressure, or the journey into space won't let a little thing like gravity get in the way of your trip.

[punkonjunk1024]

Minotaur logic rule
Large monsters appearing at the beginning of the game are in no way stronger than small monsters that appear later on in the game.
Size does not matter, boys. ;)

[Axel]

You mean: "Size matters not," hmmmm?