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Monica
06-30-2005, 12:58 AM
http://www.gamespot.com/features/6128136/p-18.html

Dear Fanboys,

I have a few pieces of advice I want to pass onto you in this GameSpotting. I know that in an age of multiple platforms and a huge amount of games, it can be difficult to remain loyal to one platform or one company. It's a real challenge, and you are all noble and courageous for taking on this quest. I have a few suggestions that I hope you all take to heart. It will help guide you down the path of the fanboy.

GameSpot is the most reliable source for reviews. Except when another publication rates the game you're hyping higher than us. Then that publication is the most reliable source. Until next week, anyway.

A person who owns just one console is inherently less biased than editors at GameSpot who have access to all consoles.

The term "exclusive" is tricky. Its definition changes depending upon whether a hot game appears on your platform or not.

Innovation is what it's called when your console has a unique feature. Otherwise, it's called a gimmick.

Your specific needs are shaped around your platform's features. For instance, if your console doesn't feature HDTV support, then it really wasn't that necessary to have, anyway.

A game that is scored less than a 9.5 on any platform you don't own is called a flop. If it does achieve that score, it's called overrated. (According to the GameSpot rating system, a game rated 8 or above is "great," but we all know that it really means "flop.")

Sales numbers are everything, as long as the numbers are best for your favorite company or console. If that means you have to dig up numbers for sales in New Zealand stores from seven months ago to prove your point, so be it.

Likewise, it is up to you to monitor how companies are doing and report every dip in stock price of manufacturers of other consoles. You're all experts in the fields of economics and finance, so your analyses will always prove correct.

You must realize, that some companies are evil, and some are inherently good. Some companies do it for the money, others do it... so, well, you can brag about them.

Perhaps the most clever thing you as fanboys can do is to come up with derogatory names for competing consoles, such as Xbrick instead of Xbox or FlopStation 2 instead of PlayStation 2.

On message boards, the best way to convey your point is to write in all caps, ignore the rules of grammar, and include lots of "LMAO's" and "LOLs" in your post.

It makes perfect sense to insult a company's lineup one moment and at the same time hope that company will go third party and develop for your console the next.

Playing a game on a different console for ten minutes at a friend's house qualifies you as an expert on that game and console.

You are obviously the most knowledgeable person about hardware. So when you're talking about the difference between CISC and RISC processors, everyone should stop and listen.

A sequel on another console is a "rehash," while a sequel on your console is not; in fact, it's highly anticipated.

Your platform is the best one in existence. Any time you see what might be evidence to the contrary, it's clearly because others are blinded by their idiotic fanboyism.

So you see, dear readers, the best part about being a fanboy is that you can never be proven wrong. As long as you ignore the rules of logic and sensibility, you will never have to worry about whether or not you made a good investment. That sure helps all the insecurity go away, doesn't it?

In the meanwhile, the rest of us will have to go on using our brains to make decisions when it comes to videogames. We will have to actually think about whether or not it's worth it to buy a console based on our needs. We will have to consider forking over more money for a new machine if its games are excellent. We will have to play the best games instead of bash them if they're not on our consoles.

In other words, the rest of us non-fanboys are doomed to a life of playing the best games and enjoying our hobby, while you will have the luxury of being able to ignore the majority of games that come out, because they're not on your console. That is indeed very lucky for you all.

And with that, I must wrap up my letter today. I hope I was able to teach you all a thing or two.

Your Pal,
Adam

That's a really funny letter, hehe. :) I have a PS2 and a GCN. I love them both, but my brother has an XBOX and it's just not for me, but I don't hate it...not obsessively anyway. I did play it, but it just wasn't that fun. ^^

MottZilla
06-30-2005, 01:14 AM
It is when you emulate NES, SNES, Genesis, NeoGeo, etc. =D

Daarkseid
06-30-2005, 01:21 AM
Hah hah, that was excellent. I think I've seen a few of those behaviors exhibited on these forums.

Archibaldo
06-30-2005, 01:37 AM
"Playing a game on a different console for ten minutes at a friend's house qualifies you as an expert on that game and console."

LMAO! Gotta love that rule.

Warlock
06-30-2005, 02:45 AM
Oh my god.. I was looking at some of the other articles on that and this caption cracked me up:


http://img.gamespot.com/gamespot/images/2005/features/gamespotting/062405/gamespotting_embed035.jpg
No longer will you break controllers when you throw them. They'll just come right back to you.

Haha.. that controller design really is appauling :)

That fanboy article was pretty funny too.

Deviance
06-30-2005, 01:02 PM
That controller looks like the latest boomerang you can use.

Revfan9
06-30-2005, 03:30 PM
I'm not really a fanboy, I think the PS2 and XBox are Okay... I just prefer the gamecube.I am a revolution fanboy because I hate the PS3 and Xbox 360, and I love the rev. So yea, I am a fanboy for a console thats not even out yet.


PS. This is a response to something I saw in GB, am I really as bad as Ganondork?

Warlock
06-30-2005, 08:03 PM
I don't know if I could be considered a fanboy or not. I'd like to think that I am not. I have no problems with Sony or Microsoft, I just happen to not like Xbox at all (nothing there to warrent the purchase) and while I like the PS2 I am not all that thrilled about the PS3. So far all I've seen on that system is a load of BS about how it's not a game system and how the price is going to be insane.

Darth Marsden
06-30-2005, 08:04 PM
I am, rather unashamedly, a Nintendo fanboy. I believe that Microsoft are pure evil and just in it for the money. The XBox controller is iffy and there's no games on there that I can't play elsewhere. I'm not a fan of online play and I will happily spend more money then I legally have. I will follow my chosen company to the ground, defending them every step of the way. Unlike others, I have mastered the use of grammer, but only to make my points clearer and have other people take them seriously. I will not tolerate anyone correting me - in my own little world, I am always correct. I lap up any scrap of new information I can find about my company's new console, then hype it beyond belief. If I get warned, I will ignore it. If I get banned, I will go elsewhere. And no matter how much I try, I will never NEVER renounce my way of life.

I am the perfect fanboy.

[/sarcasm]

Kairyu
07-01-2005, 11:53 AM
I'm a Guilty Gear fanboy, but I'm not very good at it. I own two imported games in the series, but I also will admit there was a game in the series which wasn't perfect.

I'm also an anti-Sony fanboy. I used to be a Nintendo Fanboy, but then I got a PS1, and then a Dreamcast. Now I'm looking at the 360 as my next potential purchase. As much as I used to hate Microsoft, I've realized that, regardless of whether or not they may be the devil incarnate and part of the filthy evil American Capitalist pig-dog empire, they do make a good OS, and seem to have a grasp of what a good online plan requires.

Rainman
07-01-2005, 12:21 PM
I'm not really a fanboy. I just have come to realize my preference for PC type games and none of the consoles really fit my interests. The last console I owned was an X-box. I realized eventually that if I wasn't playing it for X-box live then it wasn't the console for me. Nintendo seems to have a few good Adventure and RPG games, but I've lost most of my interest for those genres. I'm mainly a RTS, FPS kind of guy which I believe PC's are generally more suited. This is coming from someone who used to be a Nintendo fanboy. Sony... well I've never really looked at them. I ignored them as a Nintendo fanboy and even more when I left consoles for PC games.

I've seen these retarded tactics used before in debates. I remember someone arguing that smaller disks for the Gamecube was a good thing when it meant less storage and incompatibility to DVD's so no DVD player. (an option on the X-box which I used a lot btw) I never said that this was going to ruin Nintendo's chances. It was just an observation, but the fanboys couldn't let Nintendo look in the least bit wrong.

PC games are decentralized. Instead of arguing about the system maker since you can pretty much make your own, you find companies with consistent track records for making games you like. Of course, fanboyism can arise from this as well.

Warlock
07-01-2005, 12:51 PM
I've seen these retarded tactics used before in debates. I remember someone arguing that smaller disks for the Gamecube was a good thing when it meant less storage and incompatibility to DVD's so no DVD player. (an option on the X-box which I used a lot btw) I never said that this was going to ruin Nintendo's chances. It was just an observation, but the fanboys couldn't let Nintendo look in the least bit wrong.

lol.. I personally have never had a problem with the mini disks, though I can see how they have some limitations. The lack of DVD playback being one and the developer costs being another. But on the flip side they load a little faster and I don't think the lack of storage space has really hurt anyone besides FMV lovin' Capcom who had to put RE on two disks :P But really to be honest, the only reason Nintendo went with these things was that they were harder to pirate (or more expensive at least.. you need those specially sized disks) which is a big issue (considering you know, you can burn a PS1 game to a regular CD and play it on the PSX no problem :D I think PS2 has some security stuff for that but I know people have gotten around it pretty easily).

AlexMax
07-01-2005, 03:53 PM
That controller looks like the latest boomerang you can use.

HAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT THAT HAS NEVER EVER BEEN MENTIONED BEFORE EVER.

(Read the stickyed thread labeled "READ ME")

punkonjunk1024
07-01-2005, 04:23 PM
I used to be a nintendo fan boy years ago. Then I discovered tony hawk, and stopped pretending PS1 was the devil.
Until about a year ago, I was anti Xbox. I still don't particularily like the system, I can't afford it, and it looks stupid. But its not a bad system. (halo is WAY OVERHYPED. I can't stand that game) I just haven't seen anything on it I'm dying to play. Sony has teh RPG's, nintendo has.... well, mario and link.
Xbox has nothing for me right now. Until I see something ,i'm happy with what I got.