old wounds

[Beldaran]

Today I got a wedding invitation from my ex-girlfriend. It included a nice picture of her and her new fiance, a story about how they met, and a story about how he proposed.

I had thought I was over her. As soon as I saw her name on it I felt weird. While I read it, I got queasy. When I saw her smiling happily with her new fiance I went in the bathroom and tried not to throw up. It hurt. It hurt in ways I'm relieved to find I can still hurt. After our relationship ended, I just went emotionally catatonic and nothing felt like anything. Even though it felt like a lightning bolt of pain, it felt good to feel something again.

So my broken heart bleeds, but I'm happier in the end. I actually feel better. Like setting the bone after a nasty break. It hurts like hell, but now I can get better.

I'm listening to one of my favorite 80's songs right now ("Hot Cherie" by Hardline - really, really obscure, but it kicks ass) and I'm in a really good mood. Partially because we got a new drummer for our band who I think is going to work out much better, and mostly because I feel more than ever like my life is interesting and fun.

Life is weird. [wipes tear away]

You may now commence the brutal flaming for me being such a hopeless romantic wuss/etc/whatever other anti-masculine insults I thoroughly deserve. hehe. I'm comfortable with myself enough to be romantic. It's cool. :laughing:

[Pablo]

Call me crazy, but I'm the same way, and would react the same way in that situation. I'm a total sap, but I've come to terms with it.

[Archibaldo]

Dude, these are one of those moments that life gives you to write a song about. I know how painful it is to see or hear something that reminds you of how much you miss someone. I get a weird feeling when I listen to "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day because it was my ex girlfriend's favorite song. And right after we broke up she requested it on the school radio and dedicated it for another guy. Worst part about that relationship, she broke up with me the day before christmas break, which was 2 days before christmas, and she requested the song the day we got back to school. What a bitch.

[Dechipher]

Yeah. That kinda shit happens to everyone man.
Sucks though. Nothing I can tell you other than...go write a song or something.

[Beldaran]

bleh, I'm over it. I feel fine now. heh.:cool:

[Lilith]

I feel absolutely nothing romantically towards any exes. My feelings vary from clean friendship to burning disgust. It kind of sucks though if they change and become cool again, cause they only get one chance before I shut them out forever. I get over things pretty fast. There's a period of a few weeks where I still think about fucking them, and then that's it. Then again, I've never actually been in a sexual situation with any exes I don't hate. Maybe I'd hit it just for kicks. But yeah, I don't really understand how people can mope over people they went out with for a long time afterwards, knowing it didn't work out for a reason. Maybe I'll be crazy enough to see that someday with myself.