I lost my best friend yesterday

[Great Warrior]

I have never been good at managing who is worth the effort.
What is friendship to you? And what makes you fed up and give up on a friendship?

[JayeM]

What made you give up?

[SixTen]

A good relationship with a friend is something that you shouldn't have to work for. Granted it takes work, but if you want to do it it shouldn't feel that way. Just try to hang out and relax with people and whoever you can do that easiest with is probably who you should be friends with more.

[ShadowTiger]

... *eep* ... I can tell that this is going to be a very difficult topic for some. =/ ... Myself included. Good luck to all who decide to reveal the devastating truth behind their actions.

[Jigglysaint]

All I can say is that when it takes more hard work than you believe is worth it to maintain a friendship, then you know it won't go anywhere. Now I know you need hard work to make things work, but it should be a labour of love. If you begin to resent the person for taking too much time to be friends with, or they won't let you persue your own goals, then maybe it's time to consider if they are truely your friend at all. I remember this one guy who I sort of made friends with at some point. Thing is, it was more ofa one way thing. He wanted to be friends with me, but I didn't really want to be friends with him. It's not that he wasn't cool or anything, just not my type of person. I've never called him back, because I really don't think it's worth it. He's just a bit too, um, strange to be arround. Not the cool strange like myself and my friends, but strange as in he's more of a Jesusphile, likes rap, and a few other things as well. Plus, I didn't want him to think I was just being his friend because I was hoping he would convert(I met him while he was talking to the missionaries, but for some reason I was unable to talk to him about the church).

[King Link]

I know how you feel. Same thing happened to me. It was over a girl... but it's a lot more complicated than that. It's not fun losing a friend like that, but it happens.

Sorry to hear it.

[Great Warrior]

"I know how you feel. Same thing happened to me. It was over a girl... but it's a lot more complicated than that. It's not fun losing a friend like that, but it happens."
I feel we are talking about the same thing.

He made a pass at my girl.
I had always been the better friend, always stopped everything I was doing when he called and wanted something but he never did the same for me. It did not really bother me because I wanted to believe I had a best friend and I was wrong.

[carrot red]

What is friendship? Very simple and delicate question to tackle.

First of all, you have friends because no man is an island and no one can really lead a healthy life without interacting with others, thus having friends.

In every relationship, be it simple friends, best friends or more, there’s a *giver* and a *taker.* There’s always one who gives more, cares more, does more for the other. That’s the way things are.

That said, a balance is not really necessary to make things work. A friendship could go on forever on such basis. However, there are no-noes and limits that should never be crossed. Some of them might be the boyfriend/girlfriend, the bank account, and trust… If you betray a friend’s trust, you can bet he won’t keep considering you the same friend he did before.

Also on the subject of the one who gives more and the other who just takes; all’s well unless you catch the *giver* on a bad day or if the giver really needs you for one thing or the other (no matter how serious or futile it may be) and you’re not there for him. That might radically change his attitude towards you. See, if you’re a taker, (which I’m usually not,) and you’re smart, you know how to throw your friend a *bone* from time to time to make him feel you appreciate all that he’s doing for you without having to exchange words or doing something grand. A simple *Happy Birthday* or *I’m just checking to see if you’re ok* for example usually does the trick.

Another thing, if you wake up on your left foot (I’m a leftie, I do that all the time, so it should be the other foot for me) and you don’t feel like having people around you, just say it. Take all the time you need and when you’re through, get back to your normal behavior. However, if you say you’re busy to avoid a certain friend, and the said friend catches you surfing the forum 8 hours a day, for example, it won’t look good. So, don’t lie to your friends unless it is really, really unavoidable. Don’t think they’ll never find out, you can never know who they talk to or how innocent bits of information are passed along.

Never hesitate to say *I’m sorry* when you make a mistake or hurt your friend. An apology can do wonders when it's heartfelt.

Never befriend anyone out of interest and/or personal gain, it isn’t a friendship meant to last. And don’t dump a friend like an old shoe when/if you feel you no longer need them.

In conclusion, know who your real friends are, be loyal to them because they’ll return it tenfold.

[MANDRAG GANON]

Meh I haven't had a real friend in forever. I have no one I can talk to about anything and everyone ignores me. I remember my good friends, and how they betrayed me.

"The only reason people hug me is to find a place to put the knife"

Honestly, friendships mean alot to me, it's to bad my friendship means nothing to anyone.

[Great Warrior]

"Also on the subject of the one who gives more and the other who just takes; all’s well unless you catch the *giver* on a bad day or if the giver really needs you for one thing or the other (no matter how serious or futile it may be) and you’re not there for him. That might radically change his attitude towards you. See, if you’re a taker, (which I’m usually not,) and you’re smart, you know how to throw your friend a *bone* from time to time to make him feel you appreciate all that he’s doing for you without having to exchange words or doing something grand. A simple *Happy Birthday* or *I’m just checking to see if you’re ok* for example usually does the trick."

That is it. It is exactly how I felt and he never threw me a bone. The pass at my girl was the mistake too many.

"I remember my good friends, and how they betrayed me. "
Friendship is important. If one is bad you cannot condemn the rest. Give it a chance.

[carrot red]

Honestly, friendships mean alot to me, it's to bad my friendship means nothing to anyone.
Pardon my French, but you're surrounded by idiots who aren't worth your friendship, MG.

Off topic. GW, it would be a lot easier to read your posts if you used the quote feature, as in [*quote] [*/quote], without the *.