Chastity Belts, anyone?

[carrot red]

Here's the modern day chastity belt... women's undies with GPS and temperature sensors.

The link. (http://forgetmenotpanties.contagiousmedia.org/about.html)


forget-me-not panties will help protect the women in your life!
These panties will monitor the location of your daughter, wife or girlfriend 24 hours a day, and can even monitor their heart rate and body temperature.
Based on pioneering research developed by the U.S. military at DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency), we have brought this revolutionary technology, previously only available to the military, to you!

These "panties" can trace the exact location of your woman and send the information, via satellite, to your cell phone, PDA, and PC simultaneously! Use our patented mapping system, pantyMap®, to find the exact location of your loved one 24 hours a day.

The technology is embedded into a piece of fabric so seamlessly she will never know it's there!


It works too! Anyone interested in acquiring (http://forgetmenotpanties.contagiousmedia.org/order.html) some forget-me-not panties should note that they are currently out of stock but should be available within 30 days. In the meantime, it is suggested that the tried-and-trusted methods of either a) checking your wife/girlfriend's text message inbox or b) following her 24 hours a day in a blacked-out vehicle, should plug the infidelity-busting gap until the arrival of the forget-me-not panties. ®


(Need I insert my alert gif here?)

[deathbyhokie]

a) checking your wife/girlfriend's text message inbox or b) following her 24 hours a day in a blacked-out vehicle, should plug the infidelity-busting gap

squirrell spies work rather well too. just have to train them.

[moocow]

o.O

I'd have to break them

[Archibaldo]

squirrell spies work rather well too. just have to train them.
Yes but training them is a bitch. Plus you have to make sure they don't get hit by cars. ;)

[ShadowTiger]

... ... I was thinking the same thing. o_o; ... Hell, half the population of Pure said the same thing in chat. XD ... What a very quotable line. :p


Well, security just got that much better. If <FEMALE_TEENAGER> sees this article, they'll probably never wear panties again out of rebellion...

[SixTen]

You could use Ninja Squirrels (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v101/sixten04/ninjasquirrel.gif). All you have to do is hire them, as it is not expected that any normal person could successfully train a ninja squirrel. Especially seeing as you have to teach them to fight with their special weapon, the Nunchakatana.

[Belgarath]

Wow. I wonder how badly you would have to suck in bed to be cheated on enough times to get the idea to invent this. I'm glad I don't know.

[Great Warrior]

GPS in women's underwear? C'mon now. As funny as it is it will never work. It's also an incredible invasion of privacy and a blatant display of a lack of trust. And feminists didn't raise hell?

And who would put a camera in their daughter's underwear? I find that very disturbing.

Better than seeing your kid in a body bag maybe.

[carrot red]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v386/Clarared/partdeux/alert.gif

Said alert gif.

Yeah, it's a hoax, that's why no feminists took over the government yet. If some clicked the link and visited the price listing page, you would have gotten the picture way earlier.

As for the GPS tracking device (but not in undies,) I read a couple years ago they were experimenting it in mobile phones with prepaid cards for kids.

The squirrel spies are an inside joke. According to hokie, they're supposed to be of the immortal kind and very well trained by highly qualified secret agents and are following a certain redhead everywhere, mostly when she's *not* alone.

[ShadowTiger]

No. No, the chastity belts are a joke. The ninja squirrels, on the other hand, are far from a joke. You see them everywhere, but you just picture them as regular, nut-foraging squirrels. When you see them foraging around in the fields, half of them are actually looking for the enemy's land mines.

You all know it's the truth, but who here has the balls to come out and say that there are really ninja squirrels running around our neighborhoods.

[Belgarath]

And I had so much fun trying to figure out a way to create a "Panty Jammer" (http://www.undergroundsystems.org/forums/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=300) device too.

Oh well, at least it got me thinking and was fun for a while. Thats all I really need, a technical problem to solve in my head. Props.

[Great Warrior]

"And I had so much fun trying to figure out a way to create a "Panty Jammer" device too."

I cannot follow your link. It asks me to log in. :( What is this site?

"You all know it's the truth, but who here has the balls to come out and say that there are really ninja squirrels running around our neighborhoods."

I do! :p

Did you check the prices on those things? Ranging from 600$ to 1200$ for panties? How did we fall for it?