Straight from my signature.
" Build a man a fire and he will be warm for an evening.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life." ~ Terry Pratchet
<Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
<bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls
<Match> eyeglass repair kits are so retarded
<H4Z3> how so?
<Match> if someone needs to fix their glasses, then obviously they cant see too well. if they know this, why would they make them so fucking small and hard to find?
<H4Z3> umm... cuz then it would be a normal screwdriver
<Match> thats not what i mean. i know that they have to be small, but why cant they make them more visible. like packaging them in bright red
<Match> or putting one of those things on them that when you clap it beeps
<H4Z3> cuz that would seem equally retarded. just imagine someone walking around their house, squinting and claping repeatedly.
<H4Z3> 'what the hell are you doing?' 'Oh, I just need to fix my glasses.'
<Gussy> Does anyone here know much about exercise?
<fs`> is that an emu?
~ iiSII has a bump on the very edge of his eyelid.
(tektrnica) maybe it is a tumour
(letty) or an ingrown toenail
<guyen> so she gets pulled over, and as the bike cop walks up to her, she asks "are you going to at least try to sell me a ticket to the highway patrolmen's ball?"
<guyen> then the cop goes "highway patrolmen don't have balls, ma'am"
<guyen> and she busts out laughing, he finally gets it and just turns around, gets on his bike, and rides away without another word
<guyen> she just sits in her car laughing for like five minutes before she starts her car again
<guyen> ****, if i'd try to say something like that he would have gone LAPD on my @$$
<Real^Quasar> anyway: my 56k is going half the speed it used to
<cts> it might be your line
<Threeboy> check if anyone is stepping on your wire
<Real^Quasar> hmm
<Threeboy> but don't put the modem to your face, cause they take thier foot off
<Threeboy> and you get sprayed with data.
<Real^Quasar> ...
*** devil`` has joined #geekissues
<devil``> happy new year
<Quorthy> now that's lag
<Wretched> Right now Im having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
djv> psykiv..sorry about your loss
<djv> BUY A MACINTOSH NEXT TIME.
<djv>;)
<The-Virus> why buy a mac
<The-Virus> its like buying a car thats only compatible with 10% of the roads
<Ironfrost> IRC does something to people
<Ironfrost> if Steven Hawkings went onto IRC he would be talking about porn within 10 minutes
<FrostyNerv> when building a pc whats the name of that anti static wrist band thing?
<Darkcyde> an anti-static wristband?
Ettin> Because If sdib f
<Ettin> ****
<Ettin> I just fell out of my chair
<daMehTognoM> Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize that I could be eating a slow learner.
<paat> I AM FEELING SOMETHING THAT NO EMOTICON CAN DESCRIBE
*** Quits: TITANIC (Excess Flood)
<Bearsy> hehehe... you dont really NEED pants.. they're just a nice to have
<rik0> i only have them for the pockets
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> Ah man
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> can u believe rthat/
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> i was walking out of the bathroom
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> like really fast
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> and my belt loop got caught on the door
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> I swung around and smacked into the wall
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> Damn that hurt
<Kosh> Wait for the LotR cereal to come out... Frod-O's, with a free prize ring inside
<schnorks> Someday when the internet is bigger, we'll all name our kids by screennames like KewlKid2445
� BmxMovieM � does anyone know where i can get the macintosh os...but for pc?
<H3g3m0n> Wow according to the starwars website Star Wars Episode III is going to be called "In production"
<KrudOnAStick> haha i read a story about a brazilian dude who married a blow up sex doll
<KrudOnAStick> his parents told him to divorce it and he killed them
<Kathleen> wtflolz
<Alex> lololorz
<Kevin> lol]
<Alex> haga
<Alex> 0wneef
<Kathleen> omg y3s.
<[X]> Is this some sort of idiot mating ritual? Should I get the Discovery Channel in here with cameras?
<exii> I was just talking to my brother.
<exii> And I said "okay, its 10:10, I have to go boot up the shower."
<Soultechh> i say potato, you say potato
<Soultechh> doesn't really work on irc does it? :
<Jordan> You know.. this is going to sound silly, but I've always wanted to be Knighted by the Queen of England.. ever since I was a kid.
<Jordan> says: because.. I figured it'd be the closest I'd ever get to becoming a Jedi.
<Jordan> *nods*
<jagyd> god save the queen
wookietwist: update date now updated
DuoGWMaxwell60: wtf did you just say ...
<NellagnehC> My computer's so fast it finishes an infinite loop in 5 minutes.
<OmniGurt> <Zophar> Someone hacked my site!
<OmniGurt> (insert dramatic Wing Commander music here
*** opinion (
[email protected]) has joined #bemani
<opinion> hey guys
<opinion> WHY DONT YOU VOICE YOUR OPINION
*** ScumDog sets mode: +v opinion
<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.
<Uriel> crackhead is driving at 60 MPH and talking to the seats. A stoner is driving at 6 MPH and munching on the seats
<piman> How fast will they be going in 2 hours when they hit?
<pvx> 0 mph. Dammed elephant crossings..
(@MpTaNk) one time, I wanted to call someone and their number was on my computer, and my first reaction was to cut and paste it to the phone
<Dunrick> My iq is 20/20
<@Mike> LOL. I thought my chair was squeaking
<@Mike> it was a bird outside
<@Kimaroo> lol
<%Blacksheep> oil the bird
<PovRayMan> Weee
<PovRayMan> some hot chicks asked if I wanted to go to the bar with them
<PovRayMan> and drink
<PovRayMan> and dance
<PovRayMan> i said no
<PovRayMan> because star trek is on
<AlbinoEatpod> You both need to get MSN, so we can have multi-user chats.
(Ironic, because IRC -IS- a multi-user chat.)
Dr SpaZZo: LOLOOLL in the locker room at school
Dr SpaZZo: Theres this fat, mentally retarded kid who always asks us for pennies
Dr SpaZZo: and someone today gave him a quarter
Dr SpaZZo: so he started asking for quarters
Dr SpaZZo: On Monday someone's going to bring in a 500 dollar monopoly bill, and maybe some houses
<Turd_Ferguson> static he is also a digital gangster
<static> digital gangster?
<static> wtf does that mean?
<static> he haf a digital crew of thugs?
<static> a bunch of 1's and 0's?
<palos> i loved electives cause there were actually girls in them, oh and they were really easy :)
<blindwork> the girls or the classes?
<palos> yes
<@cray> ^^_
<@cray> oh crud
<@cray> picasso smilies
<@cray> happy.gif
<@nanashi> Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces, while handicapped people make handicapped faces...
<+Mara> sleep.gif
<@Pokute> It's too bad you can't put the right emphasis on the words with IRC
<Flamebird> i was watching Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon the other night.. and i was wondering where all the tigers and dragons are
<Flamebird> then i realised they're all crouching and hidden
<Flamebird> :/
<Shiggy1> OMG
<Shiggy1> Ive just discovered something
<Shiggy1> !
<Shiggy1> !
<kFraction> the exclaimation key?
<Feared> Everyone's against me.
<Feared> It's like my school is here.
* nephlite is listening to korean pop
<Anwar> is it about starcraft?
<nephlite> probably
<@Pk_L_Kim> It makes you not die
<@Pk_L_Kim> which is like the best part of eating
<Wayne-aw> 99.9% of the time, the problem lies between the keyboard and the chair.