For the Grammatically retarded.

[moocow]

Did I spell that right? Har.

Anyway, came across this: http://www.creativeteachingsite.com/humorgrammar.htm

Check it out. :thumbsup: Now, I expect you all to be in tip-top shape by the time I return!

[carrot red]

:rofl:
I loved 38, 40 and 51.

On a serious note, this is a good reference for online spellcheck (http://spellcheck.com/).

[Ganonator]

That seriously cracks me up, Moo. It's not just the ones that I see a lot here on the boards, but the ones I use in my everyday speech.

I guess you can tell what part of the country I'm from ;)

[Daarkseid]

That seriously cracks me up, Moo. It's not just the ones that I see a lot here on the boards, but the ones I use in my everyday speech.


Yeah, number 2 got to me especially because I've found myself lately editing my writing, particularly to remove improper use of prepositions at the end of sentences. And having it demonstrated with an amusing Churchillism is especially appealing.

[Archibaldo]

Yay! I gots me an PhD in the grammers now!

[moocow]

Good boy! I'm proud!!

[ShadowTiger]

I gotta tell you, I was almost rolling on the floor laughing about three seconds after reading #7, "Be more or less specific." Thank you for the page, mooie. :) It was delightful! :D

[Blonde799]

Awesome! According to 5 of those rules, I'm beyond help.:p

[zoraking]

Was the point of this to ironically attack itself? If so, number 6 is actually fine. Vowels do not contribute to alliteration. Sorry, just caught that.

OMG! That was so (pound percent ampersand asterik dollar sign exclamation point) funny! I'm gonna print it and show it to my CP English teacher.

In relation to #37:
Efficiency -- I know 'I' before 'E' except after 'C' (1 exception). O...K...? I see an 'I' after a 'C'. (1 exception). Wow. (1+1=2 exceptions. Hm.)

[Verbatim]

You foo, zoraking... that rule only applies when a word starts with a consonant...what your teacher or textbook meant is that you don't have to match both the initial consonant(s) and the vowels that follow, i.e. "to take a taxi timidly" is still alliteration, even though the vowels following the Ts are all different (even the two represented by "a" are different)--unlike rhymes, where the final vowel, and any consonants that follow it have to match. It doesn't mean that you can't have alliteration when several words start with the same vowel--you can.

Also...both split infinitives and prepositions at the end of sentences are fine in English. Something like 150 or 200 years ago, there was somebody who tried to make English more like Latin by artificially imposing rules against them, but those rules are not really valid, and never have been...though, because of his rules gaining such wide acceptance for so long, it is rare to split infintives or use prepositions at the end of sentences in formal English. If they weren't OK, we'd all be scratching our heads whenever somebody used them.

My father came up with a good example for a sentence that's hard to "clean up" the prepositions according to those artificial rules....it takes a little set-up, though...

1. Little Bobby's room is on the second floor.
2. The books are kept on the first floor.
3. Bobby's father took a book upstairs to read to Bobby.
4. Bobby didn't like the book his father chose.
...and he said, "What did you bring the book I didn't want to be read to out of up for?"

You can get all, or nearly all, of the prepositions off the end, but it's hard work...ultimately, you get the sentence "For what reason did you bring the book up out of which I did not want to be read to?" ...which is obviously much, much more awkward than the original version...and still has one possible preposition at the end, that can't be stripped off at all.

Some sentences look like they have prepositions at the end, when they actually don't, too...Churchill's is a perfect example... "to put up with" is a single verb, and the "up" and "with" are verb particles, not prepositions...you can tell because the questions "up what?" "with what?" and "up with what?" have no meaning in that context.

The real line for what's right is what sounds right.

That said...I love this list...language is so much fun...

[Ganon's Minion]

hahaha. That's great, mooie!

[Cloral]

I would like to add to the aprostrophe rule. People tend to place it in plurals where it does not belong. For instance, many would write "the 1950s" as "the 1950's". It doesn't belong there! The aprostrophe is generally used to replace something, but nothing is missing.

[Link 101]

That was great Moo! Those rules were awesome, now I won't not mess up with grammer. LOL. I am actually pretty good at grammar, except for maybe a few little rules here and there. By the way Cloral, I agee that should be added, because "'s" usually shows owner ship or is used as an abbreviation for "is." Last I knew the 1950s didn't own anything. The only thing you could consider with that is maybe the year 1950 is something, but that is all.
For example "1950's an awesome year dewd!"

[Goat]

You know, its funny, because on the boards, im not well known for my grammar, or spelling for that matter. IRL tho, I can be a bit of a grammar nazi. Double negatives piss me off more than anything, and improper usgae of good and well do too *shrugs*

[Verbatim]

...and improper usgae of good and well do too *shrugs* improper usgae do? :odd:

Seriously, if you want to be a grammar Nazi, you're going to need to learn to concetrate. The verb should agree with the subject, which in this case is usage, NOT "good and well". "Of good and well" is an adverbial prepositional phrase describing usage. Since usage is singlar, the verb should be does, not do.



:heart: Disclaimer: the seriously evil pun used in the preceeding paragraph is used with great irony, and in no way intended to suggest that those who use grammar incorrectly should be slaughtered en masse. I do not consider myself a grammar Nazi, but rather, more of a grammar pundit.

[ZeldaFan001]

heh, actually, we got this sheet the first day I went to a High School English Class, which was a few years ago, so I've already seen it. :tongue:

[Carcer]

I got confused for a bit there. I thought it was real and went a bit mad.
Still, yes, jolly good. I didn't read all of them, but did it have a rule saying:
Every oth'er word mu'st have a'n apostrophe?