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View Full Version : Marijuana Theory From Professor Eckels.



Eckels
03-10-2005, 07:05 PM
I'M A FUCKING PROFESSOR!

Ok I've worked hard on this, so pay attention. The proper formula for a good marijuana experience is as follows:



THC M*Y
--- * --- = %
T B


THC = type of marijuana. 100 would be pure hydro, 0 would be dried out old nasty brickweed. This number can be negative if the marijuana is laced with something, such as formaldehyde.
T = Time spent smoking in 15 minute increments. Example. for one hour, T would equal 4.
M = Music. If music is present, This is either a positive 1 or negative 1. Live music is an automatic +1, unless it's truly awful, like your friend shouting in your ear, thinking that she's singing, whereas back in reality it sounds like a coyote just had it's testicles removed with a turkey baster. That's a zero. No that's a negative one. But any other type of music is a +1. No music is a 0.
Y = Environmental Variables. This is graded on a scale from 0-100 starting at 50.
Every positive environmental variable adds five. Every negative variable, subtracts. Positive Variables consist of friends, movies, video games, food, etc. Negative variables can be things like enemies, driving, no food, etc. Highest you can be is at 100, lowest at 0.
B = Bong? for a water bong, or multihose hookah, B=100. For any other pipe, B can equal from anywhere from 60-99. Shotguns always equal 85. The lowest glass pipe rating is a 75, unless it's chipped or broken, then it's a 50. A joint is a 60. A blunt is a 65.

Now, after you've started smoking, put your values into the formula and see what you come up with. If you've come up with an answer at all, you're fucking slacking and you need to keep smoking. If you're too stoned to figure out what the fuck this equation is talking about, then you're right on track! You're having a good drug experience.

If you're oppsed to marijuana, fuck you. You suck and you will always continue to suck. Waste your life not experiencing things. See if I care.

git-r-done
03-10-2005, 07:11 PM
GOOD FORMULA Eckels I will consider it next time

ZTC
03-11-2005, 02:30 PM
Excellent and useful!
but not to me, as I don't smoke

Ganonator
03-11-2005, 04:40 PM
despite professor Eckels' great philosophy, and how much I smoked last weekend, I still end up with a 0 - there's never any music playing.

If there were (for a 1), I'd end up with THC = 80, T = 3, Y = 80, B = 60, which I end up with 320/9, or about 35. Might as well give it a scientific suffix too, which means the last time I smoked, I was in the range of

35 Eckels.

How much is 1 Eckel? Let me toke up and we'll figure this shit out...

Glitch
03-11-2005, 05:06 PM
Ganonator and Eckels.....meet me in #AGN sometime tonight :) We will see what we all get.

Ganonator
03-11-2005, 07:55 PM
ok, but you need to be in chat tonight. I'm totally in on this one.

Machiavelli
03-11-2005, 11:09 PM
I remember the first time I smoked. It was a sweet sixteen party. Good times...

Ganonator
03-11-2005, 11:42 PM
i think watching cartoons automatically adds to the equation. And not just in the media quality factor. i can make out the cels really easy, and it's a lot of fun.

btw, where is my hookup at?

Glitch
03-11-2005, 11:47 PM
You need to factor in "Time of day".

For example, A wake-and-bake is far more potent than a mid-day smoke.