VT_Hokie_Fan
12-29-2004, 01:03 AM
I wrote a story, it isn't finished or anything, but I want to know if its n-e good before I continue. Be easy, I'm only 15 and I don't pay attention in school.
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--->Start<---
Chapter One: Rage uprising
A crack of thunder erupted. The sound reverberated off the cold, empty, dead walls of the mansion. A t.v. crackled and died as the power to the mansion was suddenly cut off. A crack of lightning struck a telephone pole, so the mansion was left as it was.
Pitch Black
Footsteps vibrated through the empty halls. The steel toe boots clanked and clunked across the dead hard wood floor. Two metal contraptions on the man's belt clanked together as he walked down the hallway. He stepped into the room and sighed heavily. He stared into the endless darkness of the room, trying to squint to make out a figure. He couldn't see what it was...
Until it was right up in his face
He saw it. Not a man, or a beast. It was a wolf-like man. He couldn't really tell what it was doing yet. A flashlight in the beast hands let him see what was going on. It was crying. Was it the victim of a crime?
Or was it the crime itself?
The beast looked up at the man, and suddenly, its tears stopped. It stood up and stared lazily into the man's eyes. Then it attacked...
The man unsheathed his harpoon and stabbed at its heart. The Shibiro (the name of the creatures species) dodged it slightly and slashed at the man in the face. He stopped fighting and felt the blood stream down his face and land on his chain mail. He put his harpoon away and sat down on the ground with legs crossed. He looked down at the ground for no apparent reason. The Shibiro was very curious as it inched forward to see further what the man was doing. It pointed the flashlight at the man's hands.
It was a grenade
The man quickly jumped back and lobbed the grenade at the Shibiro's chest. It exploded on impact, killing the devilish creature. The man looked at the creature's destroyed carcass, and smirked. He combed his dark white hair with his hand as he uttered a message to the remains of the Shibiro...
"Don't mess with Rage, or he'll bring the house down."
Then the mansion crumbled to the ground
Rage pushed the bricks and stone off of his body and looked up at the dark moon. He knew what was coming...
Yajuu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Was that cool or what? Just to let you know, yajuu means "beast" in japanese. That's not what it means in this story though.
Chapter Two- Don't Screw With Me
Two men are drunk and talking in a bar. They are having a very vulgar conversation.
"Did ya' hear about 'The Balpine'?"
"Oh, that son of a gun"
"Yeah, i heard that mo fo was dead!"
"Bull Crap"
"Naw, If I'm lying, I'm dying!"
Just then, Rage stepped through the door and sat down at a table. He ordered a glass of water and listened to the conversation.
"You're a dirty dang lyer."
" Man, screw you. The Balpine is dead. I swear on my life."
" Hey, you. The guy with the cape..." One of the men asked Rage.
" Man, what you Want?" Rage asked with an attitude.
" Wat' yu' tink' about the balpine, he still kickin' ain't he?"
" Man, wat do you think." Rage answered.
" Man, the balpine wasn't even that great anyway. He just robbed some crap."
" Yeah, like that mo fo over there would know..."
Rage stood up and poured his glass of water on the man's head. The man shot up and took out a pistol and shot at Rage.
Rage dodged it. He punched him in the face, stole his pistol, and shot him in the face. Blood poured all over the other man. The other man pulled out a rifle but was shot in the face by an auto-shottie before he could let off a round. Bounty hunter's started pouring into the room loaded for bear...
But they were going up against Rage...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
[To be continued]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man I'm awesome...
Part Two Of Chapter Two: Don't Screw With Me
Rage kicked over a table and took cover behind it. He looked over the side and saw his opposition. 4 bounty hunters, three men, one creature thing he had never seen before. It had dark red eyes and dark grey fur. It was like a walking wolf. it would be pretty cool to Rage if he wasn't in the middle of fighting people.
" Come out of here. We know who you are." One of the bounty hunters yelled out.
"...DAMMIT! I was trying to stay on the down low." Rage said to himself. "Thanks for blowin my cover." Rage turned around and shot off a couple rounds off his pistol. He missed with them all.
A couple minutes later, neither side had really gotten anywhere. No one was dead yet." This ain't goin nowhere. I better risk it if i wanna win." Rage told himself. He jumped out from behind the table while unloading auto-shottie rounds into the group of bounty hunters. He hit two of them in the arm and killed another one. He ran behind the bar while taking fire. He waiteed a couple of seconds and then jumped out and dodged all the bullets being fired at him. He smashed one of the bounty hunters in the face with the butt of the auto-shottie. Blood splatered on the ground to confirm the death as Rage stood face to face with two pistols... being held by bounty hunters. Rage fell to the ground, tripped one of the hunters up, and then kicked a barrel at the other one, knocking him down. Rage auto-shottied one of the hunters.
" He's gone." Rage said to himself in a whisper. He checked the stock of his shotgun. Completely empty. He turned around to search the bounty hunters bodies for ammo, but all he saw when he turned around was a pistol aimed right at his head. Rage didn't even wait for effect. He kicked the hunter in the stomach, knocking him down. He pulled out his pistol and unloaded the entire clip into the bounty hunter. That was it. Rage was completely out of ammo for everything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Three: Ammo Shopping
Rage stepped out of the bar and saw a crowd of people looking at him. When he looked back they all panicked and ran. " Cool." Rage said. He headed to the nearby ammo shop. The cashier obviously didn't hear the gunfire (strangely) so she was very willing to sell him some guns and ammo.
"What'll you be havin' honey?" She asked him.
" Hmm, I'll take the sniper rifle, the K634, the AUG, the auto shotgun(auto-shottie), two 9 millimeters, that meaniein sword over there, and the all the ammo you've got."
Guess the cashiers response
" Holy S..." She started before being interupted
" Please" Rage asked in a pathetic puddy dog voice.
Guess the cashiers response
" Holy S... O.k."
Rage waltzed out of town. Oh yeah, he also got a c.d. player.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Bum bum bum bum!!!!!!!
Chapter Four- Red Wine In Dine Town
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Rage stepped into the city. He took a quick glance at the sign near the entrance... Dine Town. A girl walked up to him and started a conversation
" Welcome to Dine Town! Enjoy your stay..." He told him in a cheerful voice...
" Why are you here? Do you greet everyone who comes in to town?" Rage said sarcastacally.
" Yes."
" Ok, that's weird. See ya' later." Rage said like she was crazy. And she was.(lol, its a rpg joke)
Rage took a look at the run down shacks and the huge mansion in the middle of the town. it looked really out of place. " screw it, I'm just gonna go look inside."
So he knocked on the door to be let in. No one answered. He knocked again, still no one answered. He started to walk away until he heard gunshots. He quickly spun around to see some richy foo-foo lawyer guy get thrown out of the window, followed by a trail of blood. He kicked down the door and took out his k3G4 and looked for some enemies. He couldn't find any, so he looked upstairs. He entered the room the foo-foo lawyer was thrown out of and he found what he was up against. 18 mafia people. They hadn't noticed him yet, so he took cover behind a barrrel. No one had guns, except for Rage. He liked to be fair, so he took out the meaniein' sword.
" Hey you gay mo fo's" Rage called out to them. They turned around to see Rage standing ready to kill all of them. " Back off, I'll take you on. Headstrong, to kill all of you fags."
" You piece of snuff, i'll 0wn j00."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~To Be Continued~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
Part Two Of Chapter Four: Red wine in Dine Town
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The man charged at Rage. He dodged the attack and bumped the guy in the head with his sword butt. he turned back to the other 17 of them. They rushed him, two at a time. He blocked an upward slash and ducked under a jab. he tripped up one, stabbed another, and threw his sheath at another one, just knocking him back enough to trip out of the window. He stabbed one in the face, kicked one, and tackled another one.
All 14 of the remaining ones all cover him up so he couldn't get up. he threw them off. Three fell out of the window, one smashed his head on the side of the table, and one smashed into a wine glass.
The wine poured all over the floor. "Heh, I've had enough of this." the leader of them said. " Take out your weapons." They all took out quickdraw pistols.
"That's no fair." Rage said. He auto-shottied one in the face, then drew his pistol. " Now, It's fair."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
Gage, I know your envious of my sig
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Part Three of Chapter 4: Red Wine in Dine Town
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rage stared down the opposition. 9 of them. He had to act fast and make every shot count. He quickly dived behind and overturned chair and blindly shot at them from over top the chair. He hit 2 with the first clip. All the enemy could see was the gun, so they couldn't really shoot at him.
Or could they?
The leader shot the gun out of Rage's hand. The hand quickly dissapeared behind the chair.
The group of 7 walked over to find him.
... He was gone...
Rage jumped out of the rafters and took out four before being spotted. He dodge rolled to get behind a desk as he reloaded. The three remaining outlaws shot at the desk, but it was to no avail. Rage turned around and took out one with a quick burst.
The two remaining outlaws reloaded and thought up a quick strategy. It wasn't a very good one. "Okay, you run out so he can see you, and when he ducks out to shoot you, I'll shoot him and we'll both live!" The leader of the outlaws said.
" Sir, that is the most retarded strategy I have ever heard in my entire life, It'll never work."
"You better listen to my lackey, it will work and you will like it!
~~~~~~~~~
The outlaw was standing in the middle of the room. Nothing had happened yet. "UH, sir. He's not coming out." The outlaw said. There was a quick moment of silence. "SIr?" He was gone. "Aw man. " He muttered out before he was shot and felled.
"A, ha!" The leader yelled out as he jumped out of a vent. Rage had a look of terror in his face, but it was erased as the outlaw slipped on some spilled wine.
" Heh." Rage said, then he shot him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
--->Start<---
Chapter One: Rage uprising
A crack of thunder erupted. The sound reverberated off the cold, empty, dead walls of the mansion. A t.v. crackled and died as the power to the mansion was suddenly cut off. A crack of lightning struck a telephone pole, so the mansion was left as it was.
Pitch Black
Footsteps vibrated through the empty halls. The steel toe boots clanked and clunked across the dead hard wood floor. Two metal contraptions on the man's belt clanked together as he walked down the hallway. He stepped into the room and sighed heavily. He stared into the endless darkness of the room, trying to squint to make out a figure. He couldn't see what it was...
Until it was right up in his face
He saw it. Not a man, or a beast. It was a wolf-like man. He couldn't really tell what it was doing yet. A flashlight in the beast hands let him see what was going on. It was crying. Was it the victim of a crime?
Or was it the crime itself?
The beast looked up at the man, and suddenly, its tears stopped. It stood up and stared lazily into the man's eyes. Then it attacked...
The man unsheathed his harpoon and stabbed at its heart. The Shibiro (the name of the creatures species) dodged it slightly and slashed at the man in the face. He stopped fighting and felt the blood stream down his face and land on his chain mail. He put his harpoon away and sat down on the ground with legs crossed. He looked down at the ground for no apparent reason. The Shibiro was very curious as it inched forward to see further what the man was doing. It pointed the flashlight at the man's hands.
It was a grenade
The man quickly jumped back and lobbed the grenade at the Shibiro's chest. It exploded on impact, killing the devilish creature. The man looked at the creature's destroyed carcass, and smirked. He combed his dark white hair with his hand as he uttered a message to the remains of the Shibiro...
"Don't mess with Rage, or he'll bring the house down."
Then the mansion crumbled to the ground
Rage pushed the bricks and stone off of his body and looked up at the dark moon. He knew what was coming...
Yajuu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Was that cool or what? Just to let you know, yajuu means "beast" in japanese. That's not what it means in this story though.
Chapter Two- Don't Screw With Me
Two men are drunk and talking in a bar. They are having a very vulgar conversation.
"Did ya' hear about 'The Balpine'?"
"Oh, that son of a gun"
"Yeah, i heard that mo fo was dead!"
"Bull Crap"
"Naw, If I'm lying, I'm dying!"
Just then, Rage stepped through the door and sat down at a table. He ordered a glass of water and listened to the conversation.
"You're a dirty dang lyer."
" Man, screw you. The Balpine is dead. I swear on my life."
" Hey, you. The guy with the cape..." One of the men asked Rage.
" Man, what you Want?" Rage asked with an attitude.
" Wat' yu' tink' about the balpine, he still kickin' ain't he?"
" Man, wat do you think." Rage answered.
" Man, the balpine wasn't even that great anyway. He just robbed some crap."
" Yeah, like that mo fo over there would know..."
Rage stood up and poured his glass of water on the man's head. The man shot up and took out a pistol and shot at Rage.
Rage dodged it. He punched him in the face, stole his pistol, and shot him in the face. Blood poured all over the other man. The other man pulled out a rifle but was shot in the face by an auto-shottie before he could let off a round. Bounty hunter's started pouring into the room loaded for bear...
But they were going up against Rage...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
[To be continued]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man I'm awesome...
Part Two Of Chapter Two: Don't Screw With Me
Rage kicked over a table and took cover behind it. He looked over the side and saw his opposition. 4 bounty hunters, three men, one creature thing he had never seen before. It had dark red eyes and dark grey fur. It was like a walking wolf. it would be pretty cool to Rage if he wasn't in the middle of fighting people.
" Come out of here. We know who you are." One of the bounty hunters yelled out.
"...DAMMIT! I was trying to stay on the down low." Rage said to himself. "Thanks for blowin my cover." Rage turned around and shot off a couple rounds off his pistol. He missed with them all.
A couple minutes later, neither side had really gotten anywhere. No one was dead yet." This ain't goin nowhere. I better risk it if i wanna win." Rage told himself. He jumped out from behind the table while unloading auto-shottie rounds into the group of bounty hunters. He hit two of them in the arm and killed another one. He ran behind the bar while taking fire. He waiteed a couple of seconds and then jumped out and dodged all the bullets being fired at him. He smashed one of the bounty hunters in the face with the butt of the auto-shottie. Blood splatered on the ground to confirm the death as Rage stood face to face with two pistols... being held by bounty hunters. Rage fell to the ground, tripped one of the hunters up, and then kicked a barrel at the other one, knocking him down. Rage auto-shottied one of the hunters.
" He's gone." Rage said to himself in a whisper. He checked the stock of his shotgun. Completely empty. He turned around to search the bounty hunters bodies for ammo, but all he saw when he turned around was a pistol aimed right at his head. Rage didn't even wait for effect. He kicked the hunter in the stomach, knocking him down. He pulled out his pistol and unloaded the entire clip into the bounty hunter. That was it. Rage was completely out of ammo for everything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Three: Ammo Shopping
Rage stepped out of the bar and saw a crowd of people looking at him. When he looked back they all panicked and ran. " Cool." Rage said. He headed to the nearby ammo shop. The cashier obviously didn't hear the gunfire (strangely) so she was very willing to sell him some guns and ammo.
"What'll you be havin' honey?" She asked him.
" Hmm, I'll take the sniper rifle, the K634, the AUG, the auto shotgun(auto-shottie), two 9 millimeters, that meaniein sword over there, and the all the ammo you've got."
Guess the cashiers response
" Holy S..." She started before being interupted
" Please" Rage asked in a pathetic puddy dog voice.
Guess the cashiers response
" Holy S... O.k."
Rage waltzed out of town. Oh yeah, he also got a c.d. player.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Bum bum bum bum!!!!!!!
Chapter Four- Red Wine In Dine Town
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Rage stepped into the city. He took a quick glance at the sign near the entrance... Dine Town. A girl walked up to him and started a conversation
" Welcome to Dine Town! Enjoy your stay..." He told him in a cheerful voice...
" Why are you here? Do you greet everyone who comes in to town?" Rage said sarcastacally.
" Yes."
" Ok, that's weird. See ya' later." Rage said like she was crazy. And she was.(lol, its a rpg joke)
Rage took a look at the run down shacks and the huge mansion in the middle of the town. it looked really out of place. " screw it, I'm just gonna go look inside."
So he knocked on the door to be let in. No one answered. He knocked again, still no one answered. He started to walk away until he heard gunshots. He quickly spun around to see some richy foo-foo lawyer guy get thrown out of the window, followed by a trail of blood. He kicked down the door and took out his k3G4 and looked for some enemies. He couldn't find any, so he looked upstairs. He entered the room the foo-foo lawyer was thrown out of and he found what he was up against. 18 mafia people. They hadn't noticed him yet, so he took cover behind a barrrel. No one had guns, except for Rage. He liked to be fair, so he took out the meaniein' sword.
" Hey you gay mo fo's" Rage called out to them. They turned around to see Rage standing ready to kill all of them. " Back off, I'll take you on. Headstrong, to kill all of you fags."
" You piece of snuff, i'll 0wn j00."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~To Be Continued~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
Part Two Of Chapter Four: Red wine in Dine Town
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The man charged at Rage. He dodged the attack and bumped the guy in the head with his sword butt. he turned back to the other 17 of them. They rushed him, two at a time. He blocked an upward slash and ducked under a jab. he tripped up one, stabbed another, and threw his sheath at another one, just knocking him back enough to trip out of the window. He stabbed one in the face, kicked one, and tackled another one.
All 14 of the remaining ones all cover him up so he couldn't get up. he threw them off. Three fell out of the window, one smashed his head on the side of the table, and one smashed into a wine glass.
The wine poured all over the floor. "Heh, I've had enough of this." the leader of them said. " Take out your weapons." They all took out quickdraw pistols.
"That's no fair." Rage said. He auto-shottied one in the face, then drew his pistol. " Now, It's fair."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
Gage, I know your envious of my sig
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Part Three of Chapter 4: Red Wine in Dine Town
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rage stared down the opposition. 9 of them. He had to act fast and make every shot count. He quickly dived behind and overturned chair and blindly shot at them from over top the chair. He hit 2 with the first clip. All the enemy could see was the gun, so they couldn't really shoot at him.
Or could they?
The leader shot the gun out of Rage's hand. The hand quickly dissapeared behind the chair.
The group of 7 walked over to find him.
... He was gone...
Rage jumped out of the rafters and took out four before being spotted. He dodge rolled to get behind a desk as he reloaded. The three remaining outlaws shot at the desk, but it was to no avail. Rage turned around and took out one with a quick burst.
The two remaining outlaws reloaded and thought up a quick strategy. It wasn't a very good one. "Okay, you run out so he can see you, and when he ducks out to shoot you, I'll shoot him and we'll both live!" The leader of the outlaws said.
" Sir, that is the most retarded strategy I have ever heard in my entire life, It'll never work."
"You better listen to my lackey, it will work and you will like it!
~~~~~~~~~
The outlaw was standing in the middle of the room. Nothing had happened yet. "UH, sir. He's not coming out." The outlaw said. There was a quick moment of silence. "SIr?" He was gone. "Aw man. " He muttered out before he was shot and felled.
"A, ha!" The leader yelled out as he jumped out of a vent. Rage had a look of terror in his face, but it was erased as the outlaw slipped on some spilled wine.
" Heh." Rage said, then he shot him.