Glitch
08-06-2004, 04:18 AM
This was sent to me by a friend, enjoy :) Funny sayings/words of wisdom from Southerners.
I've been busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.
It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs
If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.
It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit
Notices to Northerners moving to the South:
If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol," as in "big ol truck",or "big ol boy". "Fixin'" (as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store") is 2nd, and "Y'all" is 3rd; it's harder to use. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!", get out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something you're supposed to do if you're Southern.
And Last but not least....
Be advised that in the South "He needed killin" is a valid legal defense.
I've been busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.
It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs
If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.
It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit
Notices to Northerners moving to the South:
If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol," as in "big ol truck",or "big ol boy". "Fixin'" (as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store") is 2nd, and "Y'all" is 3rd; it's harder to use. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!", get out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something you're supposed to do if you're Southern.
And Last but not least....
Be advised that in the South "He needed killin" is a valid legal defense.