Stupid animal stories

[Naked Jim]

Tell your funny animal stories.

Yesterday I went to the pet store with my friend. While she was looking at a kittin I was watching this kinda big white dog. He started to sniff his own shit, the next thing I know he ate it. I was like "holy shit that dog just ate his own shit!!!" He then proceeded to eat all 3 turds. :odd: It was very strange.

[goKi]

Only story animal related i have is to do with a very vulgar talking parrot. After months of sitting outside the main road in town, it learnt all types of colourful language from the walking traffic, and abused passers by, it's called me a fucking c**t before.

[ShadowTiger]

NJ: Those big white dogs, .. I suppose it may have been an Afghan(sp?). They tend to do stupid things like that. ;)

Goki: Parrots aren't the only animals that can do that. Crows too have been occasionally trained to say curse words. They can also be trained to give directions like that, assuming they stay in the same spot, so not to give those directions elsewhere. I read it earlier today in the library.

(Also, on a side note, why is "fucking" not a curse, but "c**t" is? :odd: )


..



I don't really have a stupid animal story, per say, except for some odd things my fish have done. .. Yes, we're mildly poor, so can't afford a dog or anything like that, and my mom needed a pet, so we got fish. :shrug: .. She takes very good care of them. If something odd happened to the fish, it would be the fish's fault. .. One of our fish exploded from overfeeding. It ate its own droppings in combination with the food we were feeding it, .. and.. it .. just burst. :shrug: Rather disgusting, really.

Our fish are nearly immortal too. Most goldfish last from anywhere from a day, to a month, to a year, if they're lucky. I've had fish going on three years now, and I'm VERY impressed, especially considering the life expectancy of most standard goldfish.

[AtmaWeapon]

BH4: c**t is a word that offends far more people than the other word. I know for a fact that saying it around my girlfriend is guaranteed to cause a frustrating argument.

I find women are far more concerned with the sanctity of there genitalia than men, and it's just something you have to respect. Now I've never really heard a phrase for "penis" that I found offensive, but between "c**t" and its counterpart "p***y" I have found that the majority of girls I know dislike either or both of them.

Monkeys threw poo at someone I know on our zoo field trip once.

[Menokh]

My friend has a bird, I'm not sure of the species.
One of it's previous owners trained him to do a very odd, and mildy disturbing trick. He'll whistle after you turn your back on him, as if whistling at the sight of your ass. Stranger still, he'll only do it with men.

[moocow]

My dad and his whole crew went to the zoo one day a few summers ago. We were checkin out the Gorillas, and one of them was masturbating! She was TOTALLY goin at it. Then, she held her hand in the air and it was dripping with... well, you know. And she flung it at the window, and it splattered everywhere. Gross.

[Naked Jim]

HAHAHAHAHAHA that so fucking funny!!!! I love it!!!!

[Ich]

You know, that woudn't be all that bad of an existence. Lie around, masturbate, get fed, maybe have sex. You know. You're going to be safe from predators, famine, and disease for the rest of your life, and they encourage you to breed. What's not to like?

[ShadowTiger]

Perhaps they are constantly competing for mates and to be the alpha male, but lack anywhere else to run to? :shrug:

[goKi]

BH4: As atma said, i know people generally take more offense to some words as opposed to others. I know fuck doesnt worry most people, but c**t generally does (most females i know), so i dont like using it

[Archibaldo]

I don't have a story but my cat has a strange obsession with water going down the drain. Usually when I'm done doing the dishes she goes into the sink and tries to "catch" the water. I then turn on the tap and soak her and she freaks out. Then when that water goes down the drain it happeneds all over again.

[Master Ghaleon]

One night at a club a Cow, Goat and a Gaylion walks in and they all go straight to the bar. The Cow was getting her freak on the dance floor while the Goat and Gaylion sit and shoot the shit.

Well the Cow was getting hit on by some really drunk monkeys and didnt wanna be bothered by them. Plus how can a Monkey and a Cow mate anywayz. So the Gaylion and Goat go chase them down and laid the smackdown on their candy asses. Then the Kitty enters and patches up the Gaylions and Goats wounds


The End