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JayeM
05-23-2004, 04:30 PM
Murder at Krogers

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed.

A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure who went by the name of "Artie."

Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid something up front.

The man opened up his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Kroger grocery store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands.

As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband.

And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared: "ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT KROGERS"

phattonez
05-23-2004, 04:33 PM
Is this serious or just a joke? Right now, I don't know how to react to this. It's funny what the headline said, but it's sad that two people died.

JayeM
05-23-2004, 04:49 PM
Um, it's a joke. :evil:

Starkist
05-23-2004, 04:58 PM
Oh my.

Not sure which is funnier, the joke or the gullibility of a certain member.

:blah:

phattonez
05-23-2004, 05:24 PM
Oh my.

Not sure which is funnier, the joke or the gullibility of a certain member.

:blah:
How am I supposed to know if it is serious or not? I asked a simple question and I got a response. Is there something funny about that?

moocow
05-23-2004, 06:05 PM
Artichoke hearts smell bad. :o

ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT KROGERS! LOL, that's funny. Har de har.

ercassam
05-23-2004, 06:41 PM
hahahah that was funny. I expected a pun but was still caught off guard.

inori
05-25-2004, 11:02 AM
How am I supposed to know if it is serious or not?

Well, for one, I don't think JayeM's quite that callous. ;)

Hickman
05-25-2004, 12:02 PM
thats a good one never heard it and man ppl are gullible

AtmaWeapon
05-25-2004, 12:04 PM
OK this is getting ridiculous. The title has the word "pun" in it, so you know a pun is coming. I count two members that don't understand what a pun is in this thread so I will help out.

AtmaNotes: JayeM's Punny Joke
An artichoke is some kind of weird vegetable or fruit or something that is yellow and spiky unless I am thinking of the wrong thing. Go to your grocery store and you will find them in the produce section.

A pun is a joke that relies on the fact that either a word in the joke has two meanings or sounds a lot like another word.

Let's start saying ARTIE CHOKES really fast:
artie...chokes
artie..chokes
artie.chokes
artiechokes
artichokes

THERE'S YOUR PUN!

Feel free to copy and distribute this document as necessary.

I didn't really get the pun at first but that's because I don't really like artichokes so I had forgotten about them.

Hickman
05-25-2004, 12:05 PM
Thanks for clearing that up for everybody

JayeM
05-25-2004, 04:25 PM
Sorry, I'm a pun-lover.

phattonez
05-25-2004, 06:35 PM
For everyone that is stupid enough to think that I am gullible should look at the first post I made. I just wanted to know if it was a joke or not. Sorry for not thinking about the title. What I tried to say above is that I didn't know if I should be sad or should be laughing. If you are going to try and correct someone, make sure that the person did something wrong.

MANDRAG GANON
05-25-2004, 06:40 PM
Oh my when I read "ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT KROGERS"
I thought it meant something else...then I read down and saw it was Artichokes...wow was I off on that one!

SixTen
05-25-2004, 08:27 PM
Last year, one of the seniors at my school stole some porn from the book store and they called the cops. After the cop caught up with him, not giving up, he punched the cop in a last ditch effort to run away. This later spread the headline around school: "Pervert Purloins Porn, Punches Pig!!"