AtmaWeapon
03-22-2004, 06:43 PM
My attitude really sucks. I realized today that I'm under a lot of stress and I don't know why, but I am angry. VERY angry. At what I don't know, but I have a lot of issues to work out.
I've put in a lot of overtime lately, and my g/f is taking it as an affront to her. She's having issues over when I have to get up at 4 in the morning, I don't generally want to be on the phone in a long conversation at 11PM. Even though she used to always go to bed at 9:30, apparently she used to always be there for me and now I'm not there for her. I don't get it. I used to get just enough sleep to get by, but now I'm not getting enough. It's making me very grumpy and hard to deal with, and there doesn't really appear to be any way I can control it.
So to avoid pissing off and stepping on the toes of any more of my friends here, I am withdrawing into my shell for a little while. I'm still going to read PMs. I'm still going to watch the NMF, as if someone gets the bright idea to post rotten.com pics in there again I feel it'd be a fun chance to vent my anger, therapeutic (I'm not spellchecking that because I don't care :mad:) even.
Anyway, I'm going to try to bury myself in four major projects:
Violent video games. Violent games tend to help calm me down, Quake III in particular since I got pretty good at it. I'm interested to find how much my rail game has deteriorated since I haven't played in a year. The Members' Pages: PM me if I've screwed up your page, or if you just don't like it. I've lost track of who needed to be added and such, I will devote a good deal of time to working with getting caught up; I think why I haven't touched it is because I hate being behind, and somehow my brain couldn't come to grips with the fact that if I'd just sit down and do it, I wouldn't be behind. Coding. I code for money all day at work. I want to come home and code something for fun. Right now my focus is custom controls in VB .NET and I'm learning mySQL with the hopes of actually reading that PHP book I bought. Flatten and reinstall my laptop: I don't want to spend the money on the external hard drive as I once thought, as with a little more effort I can have a whole new computer. This laptop is and will still remain my development platform, though, so I need to get it in ship shape. I swear, yesterday I watched my Firebird mail notification crawl up into view then down out of view over a minute and a half. It's supposed to be less than 5 seconds. Periodically, my laptop just seems to seize up and not function for 10 or 15 minutes, and overall my performance is bad. AdAware and Spybot turn up nothing, Norton turns up nothing, ProcessExplorer turns up nothing suspicious. I think Windows is just getting too old, so I am going to wipe, reformat, reinstall. This will take considerable effort, though, as I need to scrape the data I have out of 150,000+ folders. The only way I can think of to keep track of what is important is to go through each folder one by one and either ignore it or note it, then burn to CD. :/ If anyone knows of a good utility to help with something like this, I'd love it.
I can't say how long I'll be lurking. I definitely don't need to post right now. I have a habit of writing essays when I post, and these 15-30 minute posts are eating time I should be spending on other things. I'll see you guys later.
I've put in a lot of overtime lately, and my g/f is taking it as an affront to her. She's having issues over when I have to get up at 4 in the morning, I don't generally want to be on the phone in a long conversation at 11PM. Even though she used to always go to bed at 9:30, apparently she used to always be there for me and now I'm not there for her. I don't get it. I used to get just enough sleep to get by, but now I'm not getting enough. It's making me very grumpy and hard to deal with, and there doesn't really appear to be any way I can control it.
So to avoid pissing off and stepping on the toes of any more of my friends here, I am withdrawing into my shell for a little while. I'm still going to read PMs. I'm still going to watch the NMF, as if someone gets the bright idea to post rotten.com pics in there again I feel it'd be a fun chance to vent my anger, therapeutic (I'm not spellchecking that because I don't care :mad:) even.
Anyway, I'm going to try to bury myself in four major projects:
Violent video games. Violent games tend to help calm me down, Quake III in particular since I got pretty good at it. I'm interested to find how much my rail game has deteriorated since I haven't played in a year. The Members' Pages: PM me if I've screwed up your page, or if you just don't like it. I've lost track of who needed to be added and such, I will devote a good deal of time to working with getting caught up; I think why I haven't touched it is because I hate being behind, and somehow my brain couldn't come to grips with the fact that if I'd just sit down and do it, I wouldn't be behind. Coding. I code for money all day at work. I want to come home and code something for fun. Right now my focus is custom controls in VB .NET and I'm learning mySQL with the hopes of actually reading that PHP book I bought. Flatten and reinstall my laptop: I don't want to spend the money on the external hard drive as I once thought, as with a little more effort I can have a whole new computer. This laptop is and will still remain my development platform, though, so I need to get it in ship shape. I swear, yesterday I watched my Firebird mail notification crawl up into view then down out of view over a minute and a half. It's supposed to be less than 5 seconds. Periodically, my laptop just seems to seize up and not function for 10 or 15 minutes, and overall my performance is bad. AdAware and Spybot turn up nothing, Norton turns up nothing, ProcessExplorer turns up nothing suspicious. I think Windows is just getting too old, so I am going to wipe, reformat, reinstall. This will take considerable effort, though, as I need to scrape the data I have out of 150,000+ folders. The only way I can think of to keep track of what is important is to go through each folder one by one and either ignore it or note it, then burn to CD. :/ If anyone knows of a good utility to help with something like this, I'd love it.
I can't say how long I'll be lurking. I definitely don't need to post right now. I have a habit of writing essays when I post, and these 15-30 minute posts are eating time I should be spending on other things. I'll see you guys later.