cream cheese and jelly

[Eckels]

This is the conversation I just had between my brain and my stomach.

My stomach said: Dude, I'm hungry.
My brain said: Perhaps you should have a cream cheese and jelly sandwich!
Stomach: Good idea! I'll get the bread!
Brain: You have to toast that, you know...
Stomach: Why can't I just put cream cheese on the bread?
Brain: Well, because cream cheese is somewhat stiff and difficult to spread. It may tear up the bread in the process.
Stomach: Right, good thinking. We'll have to toast it.
Brain: Open the toaster-oven and put two slices in.
Stomach: Alright.... ....Done.
Brain: Hey, check that out!
Stomach: What? What?
Brain: Slide those two pieces to the back of the toaster!
Stomach: Okay, but why?
Brain: Because then we can fit more bread in there! We can make two sandwiches instead of one! More food is better, right?
Stomach: Awesome plan! Lets do it!
Brain: Oh wait a second... wait a second... If we eat two sandwiches, we'll look like a pig.
Stomach: Oh yeah, yeah... shit.
Brain: Hrm...
Stomach: Duh...
Brain: Hrm...
Stomach: Hey I know..
Brain: What?
Stomach: If we put a third piece of bread in the toaster... instead of two more pieces... we'd only have enough bread to make One-and-a-half sandwiches. And that wouldn't be so bad, would it?
Brain: THAT'S BRILLIANT!

I was a silent observer to this entire event.

And so I'm now eating one and a half cream cheese and jelly sandwich.

[Gerudo]

:rofl:

im not a big jelly fan, but philly cream cheese is good on bagels.

[ShadowTiger]

:rofl:
Cream cheese and jelly is highly underrated. ;) God bless you Eckels... :saint:

Oh, and I've had that same conversation with a pocket I had recently found on my shirt. .. Don't ask.

[*b*]

cream cheese and jelly TOGETHER!? blech... now, cream cheese/jelly on toast is good, but together? I'll pass, thanks X.x

[Lilith]

I've had many a Nuttella and cream cheese sandwich. :O

[phattonez]

I've had it before. It is good, but, it gets you sick if you eat too much. It's just way too sweet.

[Radium]

I've never had cream cheese and jelly. Lol that's a pretty funny conversation though :cool:.

[inori]

If I were you, I'd be worried about the fact that your stomach appears to come up with more brilliant ideas than your brain.

[Mitsukara]

Ah, I've had those conversations. Only mine are a little more like this...

*7 or more hours after the stomach has been completely devoid of food, around 3:00 PM, having had no breakfast*
Stomach: heeeeelllp..... heeeeeeeeeelp....
Brain: La la la... no one's here... hmm... I don't seem to be doing anything right now. Should I play Super Mario Land? Nah, done that too many times lately. Well, maybe I could watch an episode of Love Hina... love.... hina........ *goes into lengthy monologue about episode order and the differences between the anime and the manga and into character descriptions that the brain already knows quite well, in a kind of third-person narration to itself, which is sent to the mouth but turns out too weak a signal to be compatable with the mouth's hardware, resulting in full mouthing playback, but no audio playback. Also sends a signal to the legs to randomly wander around, while the subconscious navigates enough to avoid walls most of the time*
Stomach: Damn you, brain! Hello! Pick up, brain, please!
Brain: "Konno 'Kitsune' Mitsune is perhaps one of the less used characters, but her part in the story can be very important..."
Stomach: grrr... yo, head nerves!
Head nerves: uhhh.....
Stomach: Do me a favor and kick brain's proverbial ass, before we have a complete energy failure down here, will ya?!
Head nerves: durrr. *stabstabstabstabstab....
Brain: Whaaaaaa!!! Who put this thing here. Can't anyone around here close doors?!! And- oh, that's really great, no pencils in the desk again. *goes on like this for 30 minutes*
Stomach: Raise the setting!
Brain: Graaaa... hey, wait a second... My head hurts!
Stomach: oh goody, 50%...uh.. oww..... hel..p..........
Brain: *goes on with rambling thoughts for a while, paying the headache no heed, then suddenly, another 30 minutes later, notices...* Wait a minute... my stomach hurts! My head hurts, and my stomach... oops, I kinda did it again, didn't I... *tells arms and eyes to coordinate such as to read watch* Oh, I thought it was 1:30! I should probably eat lunch now, huh...
Stomach: ................
Brain: *randomly wanders between the pantry and the refridgerator another 15 minutes, trying to decide what to eat* Heck, we just went to the grocery store a couple days [editor's note: this means a week] ago, and now we're out of everything again! Except hot dogs, and sandwhich meat, and milk, and bread, and tamales... but those all sound horrible...

5 more minutes pass. The stomach completely stops all function and the other organs begin to follow.

Brain: Okay, I think I'll just have hot dogs... again... *sends instructions to heat the hot dogs for a minute, prepares a glass, straw, forgets what it was doing, remembers, gets out the milk, gets the plate out of the microwave, goes back to get a napkin, sits down, gets back up to get a fork, then sends instructions to eat, taking 45 minutes to finish 4 hot dogs.*

Speaking of which... *stops typing and goes back to eating her second hot dog now*

[Lilith]

Oh Jennifer, you so cRaZy.

[DarkDragoonX]

I have a similar problem, wherin my stomach sends my brain a message such as "lower intestine needs food badly." My brain registers this, and then proceeds to put "eat food" at the #1 spot on it's list... of things to ignore. "I'll just finsih this level," says my brain, or, "One more chapter and I'll eat," or, "I have to get this paperwork done before lunch," or, "Ooh! Something shiny!" Basically, anything but actually eating gains priority. Meanwhile, my stomach is frantically sending the message "lower intestine is about to die."

In the end, I eat breakfast when I wake up, then I don't eat again until an hour or two before I go to bed.

[Lilith]

That's batshit insane, DD. I eat like every two seconds, then again I'm hypoglycemic.