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Prrkitty
09-29-2003, 11:55 PM
On the first day God created the cow.

God said, "You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."

And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog.

God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."

So God agreed <sigh>.

On the third day God created the monkey.

God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."

Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man.

God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

Life has now been explained!!!!

Rijuhn
09-30-2003, 12:04 AM
OMG, it all makes sense now!

gameguy032
09-30-2003, 05:07 PM
...you mean I'm only going to have 3 more years to "eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing?" Wow, my life seems so short and meaningless now... Other than that, that's a great laugh.

(And sorry for replying to a day-old thread for those that might wanna complain)

Blonde799
09-30-2003, 06:00 PM
Originally posted by Prrkitty
God said, &quot;Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy.
Heh, I only wish I could do all that. :p

Drunken Tiger
09-30-2003, 10:39 PM
Drunken Tiger stares in amazement

The wisdom of Prrkitty!!


btw how do you do that "/me" thing on the forums??

Blonde799
10-01-2003, 11:13 AM
You mean this?
/me gloats at DT.

You just type /me, and whatever message. It won't show in the post preview though, so you just have to pray it works.:p

J.J. Maxx
10-01-2003, 11:22 AM
I wish I could bark. I have an under-developed barking gland and the doctors saty it's permanent. :(

Draconis
10-01-2003, 11:55 AM
well i guess i got xtra years... cause i loaf around a lot now and it doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon.

Clueless Blonde
10-01-2003, 12:11 PM
I feel so enlightend now.... :p

Master Ghaleon
10-01-2003, 01:11 PM
I wish my life was nothing but eat, sleep and have sex til I die ;)

Mitsukara
10-01-2003, 01:50 PM
THAT EXPLAINS IT!!

See, between God and the government, you're alloted two years of sex, total (if things go well). This makes perfect sense, as you'll notice that some 90% of the people around you either have never had it, or haven't had it in ages. And what age are the other 9%? (we won't discuss the other 1%... you don't want to know, trust me)

And your boring vague-but-maybe-slightly-educative-,-maybe theory for the day: I once heard that they believe that most people around Europe in the iron age usually only lived to about 20 (or maybe it was 30)... though that was probably because of the highly unsanitary living conditions of the time...

Just thought I'd throw that in to kill the conversation.:)