carrot red
09-24-2003, 01:27 PM
No, it's not about men this time.
How to Tell Republicans From Democrats
Warning: Pretty Long.
Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere.
Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.
Democrats give their worn out clothes to those less fortunate.
Republicans wear theirs.
Democrats name their children after currently popular sports figures, politicians, and entertainers.
Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the money is.
Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should.
Democrats ought to, but don't.
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to a little fun first.
Democrats make plans and then do something else.
Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers (or Fathers) made.
Republicans sleep in twin beds, some even in separate rooms.
That is why there are more Democrats.
Republicans say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"
Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.
Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers
on the street.
Democrats get back at Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.
Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve.
Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.
When toasting the Holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for a "BUD".
When not in stores, Republicans use a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers" on late night television.
Democrats do a lot of their shopping at Costco and Wal-Mart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.
Democrats give their children gifts that make a political statement.
Republicans give their children gifts that will keep them out of their hair.
Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.
Republicans spend hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.
Democrats save their time and money and drive around at night to enjoy the scenery.
Democrats’ favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans’ favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "Die Hard".
Republicans always take the price tag off any expensive gifts they buy before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts....and reposition them to make sure they are seen.
Republicans wear wide red ties and green sport jackets during the festive season.
Democrats do too, all year round.
Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas Cards.
Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.
Democrats’ favorite Christmas song is "Deck the Halls".
Young Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer."
Republicans’ favorite Christmas song is " White Christmas."
Young Republicans favorite Christmas song is "White Christmas".
Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tightfisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.
Democratic men like to watch football while their wives; girlfriends or mothers fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians".
Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians get to win.
And my personal favorite:
Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus…
Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus…
How to Tell Republicans From Democrats
Warning: Pretty Long.
Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere.
Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.
Democrats give their worn out clothes to those less fortunate.
Republicans wear theirs.
Democrats name their children after currently popular sports figures, politicians, and entertainers.
Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the money is.
Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should.
Democrats ought to, but don't.
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to a little fun first.
Democrats make plans and then do something else.
Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers (or Fathers) made.
Republicans sleep in twin beds, some even in separate rooms.
That is why there are more Democrats.
Republicans say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"
Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.
Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers
on the street.
Democrats get back at Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.
Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve.
Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.
When toasting the Holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for a "BUD".
When not in stores, Republicans use a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers" on late night television.
Democrats do a lot of their shopping at Costco and Wal-Mart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.
Democrats give their children gifts that make a political statement.
Republicans give their children gifts that will keep them out of their hair.
Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.
Republicans spend hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.
Democrats save their time and money and drive around at night to enjoy the scenery.
Democrats’ favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans’ favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "Die Hard".
Republicans always take the price tag off any expensive gifts they buy before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts....and reposition them to make sure they are seen.
Republicans wear wide red ties and green sport jackets during the festive season.
Democrats do too, all year round.
Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas Cards.
Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.
Democrats’ favorite Christmas song is "Deck the Halls".
Young Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer."
Republicans’ favorite Christmas song is " White Christmas."
Young Republicans favorite Christmas song is "White Christmas".
Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tightfisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.
Democratic men like to watch football while their wives; girlfriends or mothers fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians".
Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians get to win.
And my personal favorite:
Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus…
Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus…