Don't Blame Terrorists, It's Mars' Fault!

[Starkist]

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/afp/20030826/od_afp/india_attacks_offbeat_030826125131

And people actually take this seriously?

[deathbyhokie]

there's another story somewhere about the proximity of mars causing women to become pregnant by martians Right here (http://www.ncbuy.com/news/wireless_news.html?qdate=2003-08-27&nav=VIEW&id=08U9IU259W2030827)

personally i think the only thing that mars does by being this close is bring out the weirdos

[ShadowTiger]

OK OK, I'm out. What else do you want. :odd: Heh. K then.

My dad was out with a telescope on the very first night, even before it was this close. We showed the entire community. Even the jocks were pretty awed by it, believe it or not. And OHS has some pretty blockheaded jocks. :laughing:

* gets knocked out by a flying football.

[Axel]

sad, isn't it, how many people actually believe this stuff. I mean anyone believing this is sad, but not just "experts" but also the people who listen to them...

[Jemsee]

Any time something is around that a person can blame his actions on is going to be exploited to the max.

:sarcasm:
"OH GEE - the stars/moon/sun/rain/snow/length of days/length of nights/heat/cold/and barking dogs - made me do all the terrible things that I would not normally do. Not guilty your Honor!! The Devil made me do it!!":sarcasm:

[Rainman]

Watch out, Bush will probably include Mars under the axis of evil. We'll be bombing Mars in no time. :D

[Lone Wolf]

I knew Mars was no good ever since that movie "Mars Attacks" :mad:

[Mitsukara]

You know, the reason they call communists "reds" is because they're really from Mars. This new cosmic closisity between the planets gives them (RRUSCUM, the Revived Russian Underground Secret Communist Union Movement) a perfect chance to strike where we least expect it (or so they think, heh heh). Their next step will no doubt be to try to distract us by sending their old robot armies to attack Mexico and England, while they transport their clone armies to their new base in Canada. This marks a major step in their current plans for world domination, for as soon as they have amassed enough clone troops in Canada, and finalized their design and equipment and are sure their instantaneous clone-producing devices work properly (so they can litterally stream out clones as and more quickly than they can be gunned down, which is difficult enough with the armor they're made with) then they will quickly proceed to take over Canada, after which point they will not attack the US but first maximize their defenses for a period of time. After this period they will suddenly launch a (semi)massive attack on Mexico and conquer that land as well. They will set up more cloning stations there so as to conquer South America, while in the meantime they make seemingly random strikes to keep the US behind their schemes, with absolutely no pattern whatsoever to this attack (which they believe will prove quite effective). However, they will also be designing large war submarines and several small one-man submarine fighters (inspired by a Japanese design introduced in 1989 in the file known as "Super Mario Land") which will, of course, be piloted by clones. They will blockade the US completely using these submarines, then quickly pummel Africa (to set up more bases) and overtake the middle east, italy, and get China to "agree" to become "allies" with them before they finally overtake the rest of Asia (except for Japan, which will defend itself effectively against this onslaught) and soon overtake all of Europe also. Finally they will overtake the US briefly, but soon after Japan will unleash it's league of robot armies (which will be far superior and shinier than Russia's former ones that they used back in the '80s, I.E. the ones used as a decoy at an earlier stage in their scheme) and completely overtake all Russian lands (I.E., the world). In this way Japan will rule the world. However, Russia, being based on Mars, will still exist for a brief time, during which Japan will successfully convert Venus into a humanity-suitable planet and colonize it. At this point Mars will stand no chance and be kept completely under guard by Japan's interplanetary defense systems and advanced spacecraft.

So, this is a truly important cosmic happening indeed, though not in this astrological nonsense way these irrational people seem to have devised. Really, I don't know where they get this stuff sometimes...

[Raichu86]

I'm surprised there have been no reports involving danger of the pull of gravity from Mars. This is very bad... nobody will know that the planet is going to be so close that all of the surface objects on Earth are going to be attracted to Mars by this gravity, and once on Mars, all of our possessions will be confiscated by the Martians, who will then put them to use for solar domination, while leaving us enslaved to groom their little green doggies.

[Rijuhn]

Foolish people try to desperately justify evils such as the constant bombing in Iraq and make the truly evil people of the world blameless by saying that they were just influenced by the moon, or something gay like that. People just don't want to believe that evil men walk this earth who have no respect for life whatsoever. God help us all.

[Sephiroth]

Once again Starkist reveals some of the worst shit in our world... This is becoming a trend. That is SO INCREDIBLY STUPID!!! As I've said before, people that want to kill will kill no matter if there is a sensible excuse or not.

[playful stupidity]
Hmmmm... Jennifer is about right except for the finale:

Inevitably, the the U.S. will one-up Japan and Russia by creating not only even stronger clones, but bonding machines with people to create half-human, half-machine hybrids of things like spaceships, war submarines, helicopters, airplanes, and the like, and through this power will rule the solar system... For awhile.

However, the true, "pure" Martians and Venusians will make themselves known, and will exploit their large advantage in technology over even the U.S., and will plunge the entire galaxy into war.

The U.S. will respond by creating a huge barrier of the aforementioned man-bots in war spaceship form to protect Earth (The only planet still controlled by America). The "pure" aliens, however, will team up with the Communist-Martians and Japanese-Venusians to take over Earth once and for all. They will succeed to break through the barrier.

America, however, is not fazed and will proceed to turn everyone on Earth into the dreadful hybrids. The hybrids will face the aliens in a terrible battle that will destroy all life in the solar system (Which held all the life in the Universe...)
[/playful stupidity]

[Yoshiman]

They probably get this info from hobos and Miss Cleo. I mean really, all Mars is is just a red rock that got caught in the Sun's gravitational pull. It's not some evil omen. People belive anything. I was amazed to see Mars. I like the color.

EDIT: Yay! 2,000th post! I have no life:D

[CoolestNameEver]

Silly people, Mars isn't a planet. It's actually a communist mind control device!

Seriously, some people will believe anything. It's sad, but true.

[MottZilla]

Mars is just another rock in the void that we call space. It doesn't cause anything to happen on earth. Earth is fucking up just fine on its own, or rather, the things living on the earth.

It's pathetic what people will say to try to explain something.