carrot red
08-24-2003, 07:39 PM
I bet you all missed my little “jokes” threads about men.
No?
Well, here’s one anyway, about…
MARRIAGE!
-You have two choices in life You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
-At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
-A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
-When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
-Eighty percent of married men cheat in the U.S.A., the rest cheat in Canada.
-A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
-A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
-Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
-Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
-Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
-Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
-You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
-Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?
-First guy: "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
-Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.
Even if it's a joke thread, I don't believe the fifth one about the number of cheating married men.;)
No?
Well, here’s one anyway, about…
MARRIAGE!
-You have two choices in life You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
-At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
-A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
-When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
-Eighty percent of married men cheat in the U.S.A., the rest cheat in Canada.
-A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
-A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
-Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
-Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
-Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
-Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
-You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
-Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?
-First guy: "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
-Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.
Even if it's a joke thread, I don't believe the fifth one about the number of cheating married men.;)