Military Oaths of Enlistment!

[carrot red]

For those of you interested in a career in the military, here are some oaths of enlistment revisited. Learn them by heart, they might come in handy one day.

US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT

"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services.

I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!"


US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT

"I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps.

I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a Court-Martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my Sexual... err... I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So Help Me God!"


US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT

"I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, gee dunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!"
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US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT

"I, (make up a name the police won't recognize), swear... uhhhh ... high-and-tight... grunt... cammies... kill... fix bayonets... charge... slash... dig... burn... blowup... ugh... Air Force women… beer... sailors' wives... air strikes... yes SIR!... whiskey... liberty call... salute... Ooorah Gunny... grenades... women... OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!"
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The oath of the army is my personal favorite.;)

This doesn't come from a website, so it couldn't be linked.

[TheGeepster]

Very funny. Where do you come up with these carrot?

[Ich]

They really shouldn't be so hard on the sailors. I like to sail, and I've never once used the phrase "scuttlebutt." Although "Thar' she blows!" is occasionally used when we're feeling goofy.

[TheGeepster]

I think that oath only applies to Navy personnel, but being more of an Air Force kinda guy, I wouldn't know.

PS: I'm civilian, and have never claimed to be otherwise, but if I were to be military, it would be Air Force.

[Brasel]

Actually, you have to have some sort of law enforcement degree to be a Marine, I believe...but that could just have been what my friend's brother-in-law did to start up higher. I can't remember. But I do know that Marines aren't brain dead or blood thirsty. I think that the creator of this just couldn't think of something better for that.

I do like the airforce one though.

[TheGeepster]

They're all based on general stereotypes, Sir Anthony. I highly doubt anyone would fit the mental image of "Marine" a lot of people have.

[cyberkitten]

Originally posted by carrot red

US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT

I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, gee dunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930

you left out "and for some reason, everything on every item of clothes we wear represents some defunct British tradition or someone in England who's dead"

and some of us don't bother to show up for muster at all because we're cute enough in our uniforms that we don't have to. :D


Originally posted by TheGeepster
I highly doubt anyone would fit the mental image of "Marine" a lot of people have.

you've never had to share quarters with the marines in cincinnati. i now have an uncontrollable tic when someone says "OOORAH"
/me shudders

[TheGeepster]

I could be mistaken cyberkitten. Perhaps there are at least a few grunts only capable of speaking in grunts, and thinking the thought "Kill Enemy."

[~cydlet~]

Originally posted by cyberkitten

and some of us don't bother to show up for muster at all because we're cute enough in our uniforms that we don't have to. :D


That you are!!

/me shuffles through the pics of ck in her BDUs and drools

[carrot red]

Originally posted by cyberkitten

you left out "and for some reason, everything on every item of clothes we wear represents some defunct British tradition or someone in England who's dead"

and some of us don't bother to show up for muster at all because we're cute enough in our uniforms that we don't have to. :D

My bad, I don't know it all.:tongue:

Here's the real stuff for the Army:

I am an American, fighting in the forces which guard my country and our way of life. I am prepared to give my life in their defense.

I will never surrender of my own free will. If in command I will never surrender the members of any command while they still have the means to resist.

If I am captured, I will continue to resist by all means available. I will make every effort to escape and aid others to escape. I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy.

If I become Prisoner of War, I will keep faith with my fellow prisoners. I will give no information or take part in any vacation which might be harmful to my comrades. If I am senior, I will take command. If not, I will obey the lawful orders of those appointed over me and will back them up in every way.

I am an American Soldier, a protector of the greatest nation on earth, sworn to uphold the Constitution of the United States.

I will treat others with dignity and respect, and expect others to do the same.

I will honor my Country, the Army, my unit and my fellow soldiers by living the Army Values.

No matter what situation I am in, I will never do anything for pleasure, profit, or personal safety which will disgrace my uniform, my unit, or my country.

Lastly, I am proud of my Country and its flag. I want to look back and say that I am proud to have served my Country as a soldier.



Geepa, I'm a magnet, I attract funny and weird stuff.:cool:

[TheGeepster]

Izzat why I'm drawn to ya carrot? :love:

That is a very powerful oath, btw. Quite a high standard to live up to. I imagine the other branches have oaths that are also very powerful as well.

God bless our armed forces members who diligently serve us all.