Grand list of console RPG cliches

[Blonde799]

http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

When making an RPG, one should look at this to avoid cliche fanatics. I also found it to be very humorous.:)

18. "Silly Squall, bringing a sword to a gunfight..."
No matter what timeframe the game is set in -- past, present, or future -- the main hero and his antagonist will both use a sword for a weapon. (Therefore, you can identify your antagonist pretty easily right from the start of the game just by looking for the other guy who uses a sword.) These swords will be far more powerful than any gun and often capable of distance attacks.

48. Short Attention Span Principle
All bookshelves contain exactly one book, which only has enough text on it to fill up half a page.

144. Sephiroth Memorial Escape Clause
Any misdeed up to and including multiple genocide is forgiveable if you're cool enough.

162. Golden Chocobo Corollary
The magic formula for acquiring this supreme upgrade will be only vaguely alluded to in the game itself. Ideally, you're supposed to shell out $19.95 for the strategy guide instead.

168. The Best-Laid Schemes
The final villain's grand scheme will have involved the deaths of thousands or even millions of innocent people, the clever manipulation of governments, armies, and entire populations, and will have taken anywhere from five to five thousand years to come to fruition. The hero will come up with a method of undoing this plan forever in less than five minutes.

169. Pyrrhic Victory
By the time you've gotten it in gear, dealt with your miscellaneous personal crises and are finally ready to go Save the World once and for all, nine-tenths of it will already have been destroyed. Still, you've got to give your all to save the remaining one-tenth.

171. Compression of Time
As you approach the final confrontation with the villain, events will become increasingly awkward, contrived and disconnected from one another -- almost as if some cosmic Author was running up against a deadline and had to slap together the ending at the last minute.

Just a few that I found funny.:laughing:

[Daarkseid]

(5)Logan's Run Rule
RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.

(10)Luddite Rule (or, George Lucas Rule)
Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the robots, factories, cyberpunk megalopolises and floating battle stations, while the Good Guys live in small villages in peaceful harmony with nature. (Although somehow your guns and/or heavily armed airships are exempted from this.)

(14)Garrett's Principle
Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores

(25)Local Control Rule
Although the boss monster terrorizing the first city in the game is less powerful than the non-boss monsters that are only casual nuisances to cities later in the game, nobody from the first city ever thinks of hiring a few mercenaries from the later cities to kill the monster.

(54)Zeigfried's Contradiction
Just because someone is weird doesn't mean they're important.

I especially like 54.

[redmage777]

Got this one a while back on the RPGDS Forums, It gave me a Cool Idea... End of game, villen call two hench men and wipes out all but the main charcter, and then beat the main charter to the point of death, Then The main character becomes a Great Angelic monster with many "parts" that can act on their own accord, and several "Super attacks". The Villen's Party must fight the hero the same way a standard RPG party would, with a long list of attacks used by the play throuhout the game. You get to contol the super "Angel Monster"!

Is That cliche?

BTW: It is SUCH a cliche to critisize Cliches!

[Blonde799]

That's not cliche, but it has been done in one form or another(this is why I hate it when people try so hard to make something original, and then when it's not, they go right back to the drawing board). If you're worried about making some final fantasy, don't.

The cold hard truth is that, in one form or another, 90% of all ideas have been done before, mostly coming from japanese RPGs.:p And besides, most people need to worry about how the RPG actually plays anyway(as most RPGs that have unique ideas really suck).

[redmage777]

Don't worry its more of a Joke then anything. If the List inspired me to do anything, Its to make a spoof RPG with as many Cliches as possable.

Here are my favorites:

42.) Not Invented Here
Trade of technology will not exist. One place in the world will have all the techno-gadgets while all the others will be harvesting dirt.

44.)¿Quien Es Mas Macho? (Fargo Rule)
Every powerful character you attempt to seek aid from will first insist upon "testing your strength" in a battle to the death.
"And its only a battle to the death if you Lose"

70.) Last Law of Travel (Big Joe Rule)
As has been described, you must endure great trials just to get from town to town: locating different vehicles, operating ancient transport mechanisms, evading military blockades, the list goes on. But that's just you. Every other character in the game seems to have no trouble getting to any place in the world on a moment's notice.

71.) If You Meet The Buddha In A Random Encounter, Kill Him!
When you're out wandering around the world, you must kill everything you meet. People, animals, plants, insects, fire hydrants, small cottages, anything and everything is just plain out to get you. It may be because of your rampant kleptomania (see Garrett's Principle.)