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Fatty Lumpkin
05-29-2003, 07:30 PM
http://bbspot.com/News/2000/5/clock_rift.html


Overclocker Creates Rift in Space-Time Continuum Santa Cruz, CA - A rift in the space-time continuum was created today when overclocker Jamie Aperman ran a 750 MHz Coppermine Pentium III at 1.6 GHz. Overclocking has long been blamed for causing global warming, but this is the first occasion that the fabric of space-time has been damaged.

MIT Professor George Greznowski said, "It appears that the CPU was operating so fast that it began to execute instructions before they arrived. This execution of future instructions created a small tear in the fabric of space-time itself through which part of the motherboard passed into a parallel universe."

No one was injured in the accident, but a computer motherboard was partially damaged. Mr. Aperman better known as SpeedPhreeek said, "I'm pissed. I lost a brand new Alpha Cooler and Coppermine to a parallel universe. I called my insurance company and they don't cover losses to rifts in the space-time continuum."

Intel researchers have long warned of such damage to the space-time continuum, and added clock multiplier locks to their CPUs before they were required by Congress. A bill is now in the US Senate which would require a three day waiting period for purchasers of Alpha Cooling Fans and Peltier cooling devices. The bill would also require clock multiplier locks on all new processors.
Overclocking advocate Horace Spencer said, "This bill before Congress won't prevent overclocking. They'll just create a black market for non-locked processors. Most of the top overclockers already get their goods from Taiwan."

We MUST stop this bill! Everyone, please, write to your state's senators. If not for our sake, for our children's.

slef
05-29-2003, 07:54 PM
im going to have to say that thats really stupid

Thunderbird
05-29-2003, 07:55 PM
I'm smelling a LARGE amount of idiocy in that. A lot of stuff in there simply cannot happen.

fatcatfan
05-29-2003, 08:11 PM
Well, I'm glad you pointed that out for us Thunderbird.

Personally I found the story mildly funny. I guess you have to be a computer geek.

firebug
05-29-2003, 08:12 PM
thats retarded. its obvious that every story on that page is fake. at least they could come up with something at least SLIGHTLY realistic :blah:

AtmaWeapon
05-29-2003, 08:12 PM
Somehow I think it was a joke that the above did not get.

Trusso
05-29-2003, 09:03 PM
That's funny. I like the line "I called my insurance company and they don't cover losses to rifts in the space-time continuum." That sounds like it is from the onion.

SquishyMon
05-29-2003, 09:14 PM
It's kind of sad the number of people who took it seriously (well I think he's exaggerating). At least he didn't try to use a hyperdimensional resonator.

bigjoe
05-29-2003, 09:20 PM
Hah, perhaps we should be more open minded. Maybe their is some relevance in this story :evil: How do you think a freak like me got into this universe?

This is the machine I used! RAR!! (http://old-computers.com/museum/computer.asp?st=1&c=243)

Ich
05-29-2003, 10:23 PM
Overclocking is one of the coolest things ever. I've got a Pentium II 400 mHz (oc'd to 2.8 gHz) cooled with liquid Nitrogen; I open up a heavily insulated cooler to turn it on, and I have to keep it plugged in all the time, as well as the device for keeping the Nitrogen at a balmy -210ºC. If it rises over about -180º, then I might have to go looking for a new computer.

TheGeepster
05-29-2003, 11:04 PM
A warning to the wise.. Don't overclock any processor you wanna keep. (I had the same thing happen to me.. twice)

Hilarious stuff Fatty. But it seems some people will have to learn about the concept of satire, including the obviously over the top variety seen above.

SomUnknown
05-30-2003, 03:10 AM
HOLY CRAP THAT'S FAST...

Oh wait, it's a joke, I get jokes...

Raichu86
05-30-2003, 09:32 AM
That was quite amusing. :laughing:

If they ever have such a processor, I'll be first in line to get one. All I'd have to do is somehow connect myself to it. After all, this dimension is boring. :p

Fatty Lumpkin
05-30-2003, 12:31 PM
I think some people need to actually look at the page before they start posting. The title of the page is "Satire for Smart People and the Best Links Daily." If that doesn't tell you something...

Anyway, here's another good overclocking one. Just imagine if it were true...
http://bbspot.com/News/2002/03/ocjesus.html

TheGeepster
05-30-2003, 06:23 PM
OK now, that one is just plain weird.. A bit funny though. I still prefer the first one.

(Dangerous territory to be flippant where religious figures are concerned, especially those with claims to godhood)

carrot red
05-30-2003, 06:31 PM
Yeah, me too.
I liked BJ's machine better. Did you see it's price?



I learned my lesson in some replies I got to my threads and decided to stamp *it's a joke* on them.