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System Error
02-23-2003, 08:58 PM
Dumb Warnings (http://www.dumbwarnings.com)

There's some funny stuff there. Here's some assorted ones.

Japanese GameCube Instruction Manual
Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury

Unknown Diving Board
All divers must land in water!

Ansell Condoms
Do not return used condoms to the manufacturer through the mail.

Carefree Gum
Use of this product may be hazardous to your health. This product contains Saccharin, which has been determined to cause cancer in laboratory animals.

Life saving device
This is NOT a life saving device!!!

Fruit By the Foot
Peel fruit from cellophane backing before eating.

Unknown Glass Cup
Do not put boiling water or more than 10% alcohol in this cup.

And one of my all-time favorites...

Unknown Block of Lead (One Ton)
Do not eat or inhale, if so induce vomiting.

Also, check out the other Dumb network sites. www.dumbcriminalacts.com is also a good one.
Dechipher
02-23-2003, 09:41 PM
Swedish Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

Unknown Blow Dryer
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.


LMAO. THose are pathetic.
The Savior
02-23-2003, 10:36 PM
I just saw a warning on a fire extinguisher yesterday that read "Warning: Extremely flammable." :lol:
Jigglysaint
02-23-2003, 11:02 PM
Well if people wern't trying to sue everything that moves....
Fiyerstorm
02-24-2003, 12:08 AM
Originally posted by Jigglysaint
Well if people wern't trying to sue everything that moves....

Exactly.

Location: Sweden. Woodshop.
Time: 5:30pm

"Oh no! My chainshaw ish going to fasht!"

"Let me use my genitalsh to shtop it!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH"

"I'm shueing!"
TheGeepster
02-24-2003, 06:58 AM
I don't worry so much about the sue-happy as I do people dumb enough to attempt the things the labels warn against. Then again, perhaps Darwin ought to take care of them...

OK, now I'm back to only worrying about the sue-happy idiots that survive..
Drunken Tiger
02-24-2003, 07:04 AM
LoL

Its old but still funny...
Yoshiman
02-24-2003, 07:51 AM
Child-Sized Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

Various Computers[b]
Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue.

[b]Unknown 500-piece puzzle
Some assembly required.
Pixeled Angel
02-24-2003, 02:10 PM
Consumer Reports has the back page of every magazine dedicated solely to dumb warning labels and stupidly false advertisements. as soon as i get a hold on this month;s issue ill post it