How to survive any RPG

[Mak-X]

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1255

lol this is pretty funny

[Blonde799]

ROFLMAO
I don't think the enemy would respect the summon, and wait til the cutscene is over. Then, when you think about an anime that had the quote "Don't attack people while they're doing useless posing crap!"(or something like that), you just wonder...

[System Error]

Ahahaha, very funny...console RPG games always have spikey headed heroes? I think not...

[jman2050]

Most of them anyways, when you actually think about. In fact, FF6, Chrono Trigger, Terranigma, and various other fit into this category.

Extremely funny, and yet so true (I was always annoyed because of getting stopped by some tiny little rock).

[Beldaran]

"Sure, you can cast a spell that sucks 50 enemies into a whirling vortex of hell, but if the bridge is out or there's a somewhat large rock in your path, you're screwed and might as well give up. "

That about sums it up. That was a hilarious article.

[Paradox]

Upon beginning your quest, you'll likely find yourself in a quaint town full of people who love it when you casually saunter into their bedroom and start looking through their shelves for items you can steal. Sure they may have been saving up that healing potion to cure their dying son of the dreaded disease AIDSarion, but by all means, if somebody else like you might want it to heal himself after battling a winged elf fairy frog king (weaknesses: lightning, upholstery), it's all yours! Amazingly, their drawers and cupboards are entirely empty aside from potions, gold, and equipment ideal for warriors such as yourself.

The main villian will invariably have some quality which makes them more human and likeable in the player's mind. Damien might be slaughtering innocents by the thousands, but once we're shown a tearful moment from his past when he was learning to play the piano, we can't really hate him, can we? Giving good traits to bad guys and bad traits to good guys constitutes "depth" in RPGs, and you should be very impressed that the bad guy wants to commit genocide because his dog was run over by the king's wagon when he was a kid.
ROTFLMFAO
the entire article, multiple webpages long, is one of the funniest things i've read in a long time.

[Ganonator]

very funny... thanks for posting :thumbup:

there's a guy that makes comics like this, following the same "RPG's are kinda stupid in the way they play engine" style.. *takes deep breath..

anyway, here's that site - www.rpgworldcomic.com

[stormwatcheagle]

Originally posted by Ganonator
very funny... thanks for posting :thumbup:

there's a guy that makes comics like this, following the same "RPG's are kinda stupid in the way they play engine" style.. *takes deep breath..

anyway, here's that site - www.rpgworldcomic.com

That is my favorite comic in the whole world! GO READ!

[Axel]

heh, funny

[mrz84]

For that matter, every animal in the same species looks identical but has a slightly different color scheme. For example, the poisonous rat is green, the rock rat is grey, and the lust rat is red - the color of HOT STEAMY LOVE

that just made my day. :kawaii:

[Maverick_Zero]

Sure he may have two spike-laced, fire spewing demon overlords guarding his palace doors with automatic plasma gun turrets, but 2,000 miles away and in your town, all he has is a handful of slightly aggressive wasps and a toad that shoots mossy rocks from its mouth.

LMAO

That was pretty funny.

[Paradox]

Sometimes this couple will have a sidequest involving finding a questionable item that somehow matters a lot to one of them. In this case, finding the woman's missing rolling pin will somehow fix the couple's shaky marriage. In return for the hour of your life you'll spend finding it, you'll be awarded with either a piece of armor you already have, or a completely useless item such as the "Cracked Mirror" or "Stylish Feather."

this is hilarious...
:rofl:

[Shadowblazer]

lol, the whole article was hilarious but for some reason the caption on this picture was what had me laughing like a fool.

images/blazer/youfound.jpg
"Hey, this is mine! I uh... dropped it outside your house last week. Shut up."

[mikeron]

I thought the funniest part was: Even death can be cured by a potion, so the only way a wizard could really fuck you up is by casting his "close mouth" spell on you.

[Kirbypuff]

That is one of the funniest things I have ever read.

[Myth]

lol nice :D great way to spend 10 mins laughing like a freak in tech :P

[Dracula]

I laughed my ass off the most at this article...

You will soon learn that God hates you. That's right, the Almighty must have your eternal suffering in mind. Why else would almost every town have just one natural entrance and exit? Rivers on the world map block your access to a treasure chest no more than three feet away, mocking the lustful look in your eyes. Luckily, God doesn't completely hate you, and there's always ONE magic tree you can cut down to create a bridge or dam to safely cross the deadly six inch deep abyss full of deadly minnows. Speaking of trees, they often act as impenetrable force fields, somehow growing in perfectly straight lines to constantly block your way, thereby creating labyrinths alongside the highly important boulders and signposts. This explains why nobody except you ever bothers leaving towns in any RPG. If I had to fight off several hundred monsters while nearly braining myself against a magic tree every few feet, I'd stay in town with a shit-eating grin on my face too.