Emotional dignity

[Lilith]

I've been reading 1984 (again) lately and it brings up the issue of "emotional dignity" which I've also been thinking about a lot. It reminds me of when I switched my emotions off for several months just to see what it was like, and how I'd been confused about what to feel for a long time. The way I am now, I have a lot of control over my emotions, I can usually turn them on and off or adjust the intensity to what I see fit for the situation. It's something I like about myself and I think it's better than feeling nothing. Sometimes I feel like I'm more emotional over ideas or concepts than people. I'll admit to being a lot shallower than most people, and I can also be cruel and enjoy it without guilt, but retaining private emotional diginity over a few things is important to me and I feel that it makes me stronger than both people who feel nothing and people whose emotions are what rules them.

For me, as far as my thoughts on emotion in dealing with other people are concerned, emotional dependency/letting people mess with you/letting their judgement get clouded by emotions/getting attached to too many people/caring too much about what people say/feeling the need to conform/ to them is bad, and a weakness.

Caring about a few special people, but staying strong and knowing how to control yourself as well as enjoying being alone is what I respect the most. I find it cowardice and weakness to be afraid of connecting to people who care about you, since if you are strong enough you'll find away to retain yourself anyway.

I'm a very mutable person generally, so if I'm around someone for a long time I sort of tailor my personality to fit theirs better, so there's little or no conflicts. I don't do this because I feel like I have to be liked by them, it's just something natural I do, and it doesn't feel weird to me. It does feel better for me, however, to have a few emotional and personal constants.

The one thing that scares me is becoming emotionally vulnerable. Although I can care about certain people, I'm not a deeply trusting person as I don't think it's smart to be. Anyone who's read some of my writing might be able to tell that I can be very emotionally intense (writing is one of my main forms of getting rid of that). Nothing makes me feel quite as terrible and somewhat angry as getting the feeling that someone has any sort of edge over my emotions. Luckily, that rarely happens.

Anyway, that's my philosophy. I'm not an emotional person generally, but I like having a few connections that I'll let make me smarter and stronger instead of bring me down, and retaining my emotional dignity. I'm curious as to knowing what all of yours philosophies on this are, since I somehow feel I'm weird in this (that's not a bad thing) ;P

[Paradox]

emotions are indeed a weakness. i try to be as unemotional and logical as i can in any given situation, but i am unable to "turn them off" as you mention.

[KingArthur]

I killed my emotions a long time ago, now I'm just silly

[slothman]

Yeah, how do you "turn them off"? I usually have few but that sounds interesting.

[Beldaran]

Originally posted by Lilith
I've been reading 1984 (again) lately and it brings up the issue of "emotional dignity" which I've also been thinking about a lot. It reminds me of when I switched my emotions off for several months just to see what it was like, and how I'd been confused about what to feel for a long time. The way I am now, I have a lot of control over my emotions, I can usually turn them on and off or adjust the intensity to what I see fit for the situation. It's something I like about myself and I think it's better than feeling nothing. Sometimes I feel like I'm more emotional over ideas or concepts than people. I'll admit to being a lot shallower than most people, and I can also be cruel and enjoy it without guilt, but retaining private emotional diginity over a few things is important to me and I feel that it makes me stronger than both people who feel nothing and people whose emotions are what rules them.

For me, as far as my thoughts on emotion in dealing with other people are concerned, emotional dependency/letting people mess with you/letting their judgement get clouded by emotions/getting attached to too many people/caring too much about what people say/feeling the need to conform/ to them is bad, and a weakness.

Caring about a few special people, but staying strong and knowing how to control yourself as well as enjoying being alone is what I respect the most. I find it cowardice and weakness to be afraid of connecting to people who care about you, since if you are strong enough you'll find away to retain yourself anyway.
I'm a very mutable person generally, so if I'm around someone for a long time I sort of tailor my personality to fit theirs better, so there's little or no conflicts. I don't do this because I feel like I have to be liked by them, it's just something natural I do, and it doesn't feel weird to me. It does feel better for me, however, to have a few emotional and personal constants.

The one thing that scares me is becoming emotionally vulnerable. Although I can care about certain people, I'm not a deeply trusting person as I don't think it's smart to be. Anyone who's read some of my writing might be able to tell that I can be very emotionally intense (writing is one of my main forms of getting rid of that). Nothing makes me feel quite as terrible and somewhat angry as getting the feeling that someone has any sort of edge over my emotions. Luckily, that rarely happens.

Anyway, that's my philosophy. I'm not an emotional person generally, but I like having a few connections that I'll let make me smarter and stronger instead of bring me down, and retaining my emotional dignity. I'm curious as to knowing what all of yours philosophies on this are, since I somehow feel I'm weird in this (that's not a bad thing) ;P

Lilith, I'm quite stunned at the paralells between your own ideas, methods, and experiences and my own.

I too turned off my emotions completely for a six week period about 4 years ago (when I was in high school). I functioned on the tenets of pure mechanical logic. I was startlingly sucessful in everything I did. Conversely, I became almost entirel emotional for another year as a counterbalance and as part of my own mental diagnostics. I had a very torrid relationship with a girl, and performed poorly in mathematics.

I discovered that I am most definately a logical being, and I function best on logic, but that I have capacity for emotion and "feelings", as they are called. The art is to allow logic to guide your feelings.

I now feel as though my life is adequately balanced. I recieve high marks in school, maintain one or two enoyable friendships with people who do not ask anything of me, and I am generally quite content.

I do not think you are wierd in any way. Rather, I think you are quite intelligent. Most people never know enough about themselves to make the kind of observations you have, much less the analytical curiousity and intelligence to perform tests. To be honest with you, it is very thrilling for me to meet some one who thinks in the same manner. I hope you will continue to view your knowledge of logic and yourself as an asset and not as a sign of any disorder.

It is a sincere pleasure to know someone like that.

[Lilith]

On turning off my emotions: I'm not sure how to describe it, it's like pulling back...and then you stop caring. It's usually pretty easy for me to do when I want/need to.

And thanks Beldaran ;D

[Starkist]

I am very emotional, and I consider it to be a strength. I am very trusting, usually too trusting, but I believe it is better for everyone to at least get the benefit of the doubt. I can tell right away how someone feels, and hopefully know how to be there for them. Emotions are not a bad thing, you just have to be able to rise above them when you need to.

[carrot red]

Originally posted by Starkist
I am very emotional, and I consider it to be a strength. I am very trusting, usually too trusting, but I believe it is better for everyone to at least get the benefit of the doubt. I can tell right away how someone feels, and hopefully know how to be there for them. Emotions are not a bad thing, you just have to be able to rise above them when you need to.



Bravo
I'll second that!:clap:

[Daarkseid]

Yes, I'd rather be in control of my emotions, than to block them out indefinitely. Emotional suppression in the past has led to some serious problems that could've been easily avoided if I had just loosened up.

And besides, I've found myself to become so positively emotionally overwhelmed, something I believe is called rapture. I've found such things to be far more pleasant than even orgasms, which usually leave me feeling like shit afterwards.

Lately its pride in my country that has triggered these moments of rapture, seeing things like an Army recruitment commercial or even an American flag waving some place.

[Lilith]

That's right Ted, we've got to keep cheering on our boys in the Floating Fortresses ;)