OXM's "70 Reasons to get an Xbox"

[Warlock]

http://www.nintendofire.com/features/70_Reasons/

I just found this hilarious, mostly because OXM is the most biased, fanboy filled magazine ever devised :D The guy is a bit of a fanboy himself, but it's still funny as hell to read him trash some of the crap OXM is peddling as "reasons to get an Xbox".. can you believe one of these reasons was "It makes a good booster seat"? I am totally serious. I believe it. This is the crap OXM will publish, and then later mock GameCube as being (I seem to recall a mini comic they once did with a granny sitting on a GameCube.. perhaps I am mistaken, but I don't think so..)

FYI, this is a bit old. I noticed for one he said Perfect Dark 0 is coming to GC which is of course, no longer true.

The reader responce at the end is pretty damn funny too :D I particularly like the letter written by the Editor in Chief of OXM! hahaha..

Anyways, I just want to point out I didn't post this to mock Xbox (which the guy does do a bit), I posted it to mock OXM, which as I think I mentioned, I hate with a passion :D)

[slayer6896]

thats pretty funny

[Cloral]

IT'S EASY TO SPELL... PlayStasion? PlayStation Too? GameQube? Let's just stick with four easy letters.

Wow. All I can say is: Wow. After all of the Xbox fanboys telling me time and time again that the Xbox is made for adults, (13 and 14 year olds) I get this. If this is true, then by deductive reasoning, the Official Xbox Magazine, which is made up of Xbox fanboys, is telling me that the Xboxer adults have an IQ less than their shoe size. If you can't spell 'PlayStation 2' or 'GameCube', especially if you're an adult, you have some serious issues.

I found that funny, because its true. If xbox is for adults, then they shouldn't be toting this as a reason why xbox is better. MS sriously needs a new PR firm pronto.


IT BURNS CALORIES

Moving the Xbox from your bedroom to the den consumes approximately 3600 calories

How the fuck is this a plus? Someone please explain this to me!

[DukenukemX]

Sure Official Xbox Magazine can think of 70 stupid reasons to get an Xbox but I bet with some work I can think of 101 reasons not to get a Xbox.

#1 reason

The Xbox "IS" a PC. For god sakes someone actually got Windows 2000 to run on it. The only difference between the Xbox and a PC is that it only boots Digitally signed code. So if you have a computer with a Pentium at 733 with a Geforce 3 or 4 you kinda have an Xbox.

#2 reason

Xbox software is so much like a PC someone is making a converter that converts XBox games to run on the PC. It's called CXBX (http://www.caustik.com/cxbx/news.htm). It won't be long before Kazaa is full of copies of Xbox games that will run on your PC.

#3 reason

It's owned by Microsoft. I hate Microsoft and so should many people. They are big, have lots of money, and are a monopoly. Nuff said.



I could go on how Xbox could break your back picking it up but that would be pointless. Who needs 70 reasons when all you need is 3 good ones. :D

[EWild]

Here is how I envision a typical workday at Nintendo fire.

"GUY: Dude, we need to update the site.

GUY2: Umm. But Mario and Zelda still aren't out.

GUY: Didn't they change Zelda to be not cell-shaded

GUY2: I don't think so and Nintendo won't give us any screenshots or let us play their games... oh and they are thinking of suing us for covering their games.

GUY: What about killer third-party titles

GUY2: Umm... they are all going to the Xbox and Gamecube first.

GUY: Couldn't we get some screens.

GUY2: People are only giving out Xbox screens, because Gamecube screens are "embarassing"

GUY: Crap, what are we gonna do?

GUY2: Hey I know. We can read over a six month old feature from Official Xbox Magazine and selectively poke holes in their 20 weakest reasons.

GUY: Great idea. This will make us look cool, and we've got plenty of time since their isn't a single game in this office worth playing."

I'm honestly afraid what this loser will do after he hears Nintendo is planning to go the way of Sega and become a software giant ditching the hardware business in the process.
__________________
Mike Salmon
EIC
Official Xbox Magazine


I hate OXM.

http://www.nintendofire.com/img/MIKE2.gif

[Mak-X]

Hah, that's really biased. Not even Nintendo Power, a mag made by Nintendo of America, does any sort of bias. But maybe its just for fun. It can't be that biased, can it?

LOL did the guy from OXM actually write to Nintendo fire AND say Nintendo was going 3rd party? haha No wonder Nintendo just confirmed that there will be a successor to GCN if people were spreading stuff like this.

[AlexMax]

With the most powerful CPU of any console in existence, the Xbox is ready to tackle almost anything that game developers can throw at it. And when the powerful Xbox GPU takes the graphics off it's hands, this mighty processor is free to tackle a world of new number-crunching possibilities.

Like running WordPerfect, something that the x86 chipset was designed for.

This article is pure comedy gold. I love it.

[Maverick_Zero]

LMAO. Funny.

[mrz84]

and this is why GC ad PS2 are better, that and i'm getting a PS2 for x-mas this year and not a x-box. (wow, i haven't called the x-box by its nickname i dued it with.....) :kawaii: oh and that is hilarious. :kawaii:

[Cloral]

Thats so sad - OXM actually responded to a Nintendo fanboy website!

Seriously, their editors need firing.

[AlphaDawg]

Anyways, I just want to point out I didn't post this to mock Xbox (which the guy does do a bit), I posted it to mock OXM, which as I think I mentioned, I hate with a passion )Unfortunately just the mention of the X-Box brings the Nintendo and PS2 fanboys out of the woodwork. No disclaimer will keep them from taking cheap shots at the X-Box.

First let me state that I agree that most of those "70 reasons to buy an X-Box" are bs. I think there should only be one reason to buy any video game system, the games.

But can anybody really say with a straight face that not all "official video game magazines" are biased? If you can honestly say Nintendo Power isn't biased... if you honestly believe that the NFB (Nintendo Fanboy Bible) is the epitome of journalistic integrity, then I have a bridge I'd like to sell you. Take a look through their Letters section. Try to find a well-written letter criticizing the big N. They'll publish the poorly-written ones in a feeble attempt to be balanced. Also, no reputable publication publishes "anonymous" letters. Got that? None. Names may be withheld from some letters, but they are sure as hell not anonymous. The fact that they choose to stoop so low as to publish anonymous comments is evidence of their desperation to fill the letters section with kiss-ass comments, damn that "integrity" thing.

Some of the spin found in these magazines makes me sick. When Dragon sees this thread perhaps he'll be able to provide the exact quote, but I remember reading in one issue of the NFB something about N64 third-party development not catching on because "the developers were intimidated by the N64's advanced processing capabilities" (or something like that).

And some of the spin in this thread makes me sick too...
Xbox software is so much like a PC someone is making a converter that converts XBox games to run on the PC.Isn't that called an emulator? They're available for virtually every system ever made. And given time they will be available for your beloved PS2 and GameCube. The CXBX is nothing special.

All right, that's enough... for today.

[Thunderbird]

PS2 emulation actually had a head start. There are functioning emulators for it, but I'm not sure if they are past the stage of running only demos.

[Warlock]

Originally posted by AlphaDawg
But can anybody really say with a straight face that not all "official video game magazines" are biased? If you can honestly say Nintendo Power isn't biased... if you honestly believe that the NFB (Nintendo Fanboy Bible) is the epitome of journalistic integrity, then I have a bridge I'd like to sell you. Take a look through their Letters section. Try to find a well-written letter criticizing the big N. They'll publish the poorly-written ones in a feeble attempt to be balanced. Also, no reputable publication publishes "anonymous" letters. Got that? None. Names may be withheld from some letters, but they are sure as hell not anonymous. The fact that they choose to stoop so low as to publish anonymous comments is evidence of their desperation to fill the letters section with kiss-ass comments, damn that "integrity" thing.

Well, NP refrains from talking about other systems entirely, which is fine. It's a Nintendo magazine after all. The problem is OXM spends half of its pages trashing GC and PS2, rather than what it SHOULD be doing (i.e. - talking about Xbox and Xbox games).. That's just poor journalism.

[Menokh]

Alpha, I think the main difference between most emulators and CXBX is that most emulators have to emulate the processor and ram as well, which slows things down drastically, while CXBX does not have to since the processor and ram in the xbox are standard x86 PC parts.

Anyhow, I laugh when any official magazine claims that thier system is better for a reason other than games. For me, games are what matters, if it has good games(good IMO of course) that I want then I'll consider getting the system. Ultimately technical capability and processor speed do not matter much. And I'd have to say I couldn't agree with Warlock more.

[imported_Cool_Link]

As for our Celeron pushing wonder box, you need both hands to carry it... or in the case of OXB, they need a forklift to lift their 3600 pound Xbox. LOTFL! :lol:

Good stuff, good stuff...:laughing:

[Dracula]

Come on... Every single magazine based on ONE console/company is biased... Their supposed to be... Then again, many articles that biased are bound to be disagreed upon... for example...

Anyone read the "25 Greatest Moments in Video Games" thing in Game Informer Magazine? It said that the number 2 greates moment was the first "hidden block" in Super Mario Bros. all because it gives the player the feel that this will be a different type of game...

I personally think the "Thank You Mario, but our Princess is in another castle!!" gig was more of that feel than anyhting in thatg game... Having to go through that phrase 7 times before beating the game, THAT's a sign of mew gameplay...

Still, I had to agree... the "You like Castlevania, don't you?" thing from Metal Gear Solid's Psycho Mantis battle was number 1... and the Great Mighty Singing Poo at number 12... And picking up a hooker for the first time in GTA3... I especially loved the "I could have sworn we parked the car here" in Zelda for NES... The lost woods... LOL... and the Contra Code at number 8... Samus as a woman at number 5... Many other things like this... except for one, that ENTIRELY pissed me off... why didnt they put this in there... 8 words... "WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A CURSE!" Goddammit, that pissed me off for not seeing it in there... I mean, it was the very FIRST game to simulate daytime and night time...

[Cloral]

Originally posted by Warlock
Well, NP refrains from talking about other systems entirely, which is fine. It's a Nintendo magazine after all. The problem is OXM spends half of its pages trashing GC and PS2, rather than what it SHOULD be doing (i.e. - talking about Xbox and Xbox games).. That's just poor journalism.

...which is why the ediors and writers need to be fired. Get some people who know what the heck they're talking about in there. I would guess that a very large portion of the people who get OXM do so simply for the demo discs. Hey, that would make an interesting GameFAQs poll...

[Warlock]

Yeah, from what I hear OXM has some great demo disks. It's a shame the magazine has to be such filth..