Hell isn't so bad......

[Blonde799]

One day, Peter dies and finds himself in hell.
As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with Satan.

Satan: Why so glum, chum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Satan: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Satan: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers. We drink 'til we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Satan: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it.
Satan: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay... you're already dead.
Guy: No kidding!
Satan: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Satan: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow poker table.
Guy: Hmmm, I never played pai gow before...
Satan: Well now you can. You like to watch porn?
Guy: Yes, I love porn. You don't mean...
Satan: That's right! Thursday is porn day. Thousands of porn movies, magazines, and strippers!!
Guy: yeah! I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place!
Satan: You gay?
Guy: Uh, no.
Satan: Too Bad. You're gonna hate Fridays.

This is just one example of the crap I get in my mail, and just one reason why the creators of South Park are never wrong......:laughing:

[Ich]

I remember hearing a joke like that, about a prison for white collar offenders, like Enron.

Do you have somewhere to play golf? We have a 9 hole course that we play on thursdays.
How about tennis? We have a competition on fridays.
What about sex? Hetero?
Of course. You're not gonna like saturdays.

It's actually longer than that, but I just shortened it for typing.

[Blonde799]

The similarities are endless, I swear.:blah:

Anyway, for people who are wondering as to what my opinion of hell is, I don't like it all. I mean, who'd wanna do this all their measly existance? Now if they replaced gambling, smoking, and drinking with video games, anime, and getting a wished granted by a genie every week, the thought may run by my mind a few, maybe a lot of times.:)

[Paradox]

a man always wondered if there were golf courses in heaven. one day he went to a wise man and asked him if there were. the wise man thought for a while then said:

"There's some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there are many golf courses in heaven. The bad news is that you're scheduled to tee off tomorrow."

[Jigglysaint]

Bet that teed him off...

Hell for Athiests: Every day is a Sunday and you have to go to church.

Hell for Mormons: Not being with your entire family tree after death.

Hell for a porn star: Can you say "Lorrana Bobbit?"

Hell for satan: Utah

[Blonde799]

Hell for me would simply be no video games or tv. Can't live without these. I'm pretty much in that one already. I'm sure I'll be in much worser scenarios, but this one I have endured the longest.:reading:

[Darunia]

Hell for AGNers: A world without Internet ;)

[Blonde799]

In this day and age, I wouldn't be surprised if that was hell for everybody.:nerd:

[Starkist]

There was an old Twilight Zone episode where a man dies and he wakes up in the afterlife. He was a gambler, and her soon finds his way to a place to gamble here. The weird thing is, he always wins. Turns out that he always wins here no matter what he does. He likes it at first, but it starts to get old after a while. Soon he tries to start losing but he can't. His life turns so mundane and predictable that he can't stand it anymore. It's then that he realizes he's not in heaven....


Then of course there's the 'Got Milk' commercial. A man is run down in the street and awakes in a white room with a giant chocolate chip cookie on the table. He stuffs it in his mouth and a figure in white beckons to the refrigerator. He opens it to find dozens of bottles of milk.... all empty. "Where am I?"

[Mander]

My idea of hell...........Never being able to read a book again. I could live without the internet but not without books.

[Maverick_Zero]

Yeah, I would know I'm in hell, if I'm not surround by giant mountains of ice cream.

[Axel]

just hope Glenn doesn't see this, you don't want to get him started about hell.

[Drunken Tiger]

Originally posted by Mander
My idea of hell...........Never being able to read a book again. I could live without the internet but not without books.

I know what you mean Mander!!

[Lone Wolf]

Yea, I remmeber hearing that one before.