Tales of the Dice

[Elemental Knight]

Have you ever played a Pen&Paper RPG before? Ever had something really strange, stupid, amazing, or just plain different happen? Then post it here!

Rules:
1. Keep it PG-13.
2. If possible, give a link to the RP System and/or Ruleset you used at the time - Don't worry if someone else linked before you, just say "Same rules as So-and-So's game".
3. Non-Fictional stories only - as in, "it actually happened", not "It could happen if you just did this, that and the other thing". Feel free to change names and places if need be, of course.

Anyhow, here's my tale:

-----

System Used: ReturnerGames' Final Fantasy RPG (http://www.returnergames.com/)
Ruleset Used: Just the Core Rulebook (v.2.01)

I started a campaign about two months ago (mid-March) - my very first experience as a GM, in fact. Anyhow, one of the characters, the Black Belt, had a Soft Spot for Women. Now, the villian I had decided on was a female Neko Thief. She and about three of her henchmen get into a fight with the PCs. The Henchmen begin to get creamed, and the Thief steps into battle. Even with her high AGI, it's no match for the Black Belt's AGI, and she gets her weapon stolen from her on a Critically Successful Parry roll. She tries to steal her weapon back - and the Black Belt catches her arm and holds her there. Having the Soft Spot, he doesn't senslessly pummel her - He talks to her, trying to get her to "Stop the Fighting".

In the end, after a few SPR rolls, they've convinced the Thief to go with them... Albeit, with her hands tied.

[theplustwo]

System Used: Name One

We all spend half an hour fixing up our characters (nobody ever uses the same one twice), and then as soon as the game starts (okay, maybe it survives for an hour), we all start squabbling about what you can and cannot do. Eventually somebody (not me) kills themself and quits. The End.

[AtmaWeapon]

System used: Advanced Dungeons & Dragons
Ruleset: don't remember

One time, I was 8 and at a babysitter's house. Her son helped me spend 30 minutes setting up a character for AD&D. Mom showed up right when we got done, so he said he'd start next time I went over. His house burned down that week, and he lost all his books and the NES Atlas I let him borrow. :(

[Amber]

System: Advanced Dungeons & Dragons

My dad had my brothers, me, and half the neighborhood make characters. We started in this town supposedly hunting some wizard or another. My youngest brother went into a bar to get something to drink and ordered milk. One of the other boys started teasing him about it. They got into a fight and demolished the bar. Then everyone went to buy supplies. My brother and the same guy got into another fight, demolished the store and got us thrown out of town. Standing outside the city limits, they go at it AGAIN. This time they kill each other off...

A wandering monk wanders by and resurects them...:rolleyes:

About that time everyone else quit and refuse to play with those two ever again.

[MetaStaiford]

I got 2 REALLY funny ones


1.
System: ADnD (2nd edition, this happened well over a year ago)
Ruleset used: just the basic rules, 2nd edition. THAC0 and attack dice were pretty much the only things out of the book

Take me, and 3 other guys in a battle with muggers. it basically started out as a brawl, me hitting with spells from behind, the other guys duking it out, when 2 of the muggers corner me. my counterattack: LITERALLY papercut one to death with the pages of my spellbook (1d2)



2.
System: Vampire the masquerade
Ruleset: a SLIGHTLY customized one, the limit for stat distribution was 3 per stat instead of 5.

Take one of my dumber characters, Zelse Fadoran, have him get 'yiffed in the neck' so to speak (aka. sired by a lustful female vampire) [yiff is the furry term for sex where i'm from]. He had only been a vampire for three days, and he was trying to escape a skyscraper in the midst of night. he thought he was on the ground floor, and did a dragon kick on a window in an attempt to escape. turns out, he jumped out of a 30TH STORY WINDOW!

the result was inevitable, but somehow, he lives through that, and in the hospital, he actually CONVINCED the doctors he was an alien who had planned to take over the world

[Daarkseid]

One instance I remember is when my brother was playing a Paladin in a usual dungeon crawl quest (since the DM wasn't so great). For some fucked up reason, he wanted to collect the skulls of the things he had slain, which isn't very Paladinlike unless the skull itself had some grave importance to the protection of innocents. These were little goblin, kobold skulls. This, and some other nonpaladin quirks (like the name El Ravager), the DM decided the usual revoking of Paladinhood wasn't good enough, so he planted a potion in the quest in a way that the Paladin would surely drink it.

The potion turned the Paladin into a half-ogre, reducing intelligence and charisma immensely, and raising strength to high levels. Needless to say, he no longer had the minimum requirements for Paladinhood, so he was relegated to mere Fighter status. In the end though, my brother's defamed half-ogre "Paladin" proved to be a much more memorable character, like when he attempted to break a door down by swinging a goblins dead body into, and rolled a 20. The imagery the DM gave was more of a splattering goblin than a smashed door.