Get Ready to Laugh Your Ass Off!

[Glitch]

Check this out! Then Post Your Script!

http://www.sause.net/Springer/



~~~Check it out~~~~

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Glitch is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his WarLord. So everyone please put your hands together for Glitch!
Jerry: Okay, now Glitch you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Moocow.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Moocow, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Glitch, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Goatboy!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a Keyboard. Goatboy reaches for the Computer Chair. Out of the shadows Foxy appears.
Foxy: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Goatboy.
Goatboy: Because I saw Glitch and Foxy making out at Hooters!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Foxy: That's a lie! I was home watching South Park!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Goatboy?
Goatboy: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with WarLord who has recently become engaged to Foxy.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring WarLord out here because Glitch had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Moocow that's right!
WarLord: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Moocow! You know I'm how I feel about Moocow!.
Foxy: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Moocow!
WarLord: Because I knew that I could never have Moocow. But Glitch promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Foxy: What about respect for MY feelings!
Goatboy walks suddenly across the stage, embracing WarLord.
Goatboy: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Foxy: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Foxy runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Foxy: Glitch take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Foxy: Married?
You nod.
Foxy: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Moocow.
WarLord: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Moocow: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 23 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Glitch is married to Moocow who WarLord has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now WarLord has recently become engaged to Foxy who was recently spotted kissing Glitch in the Hooters. Now on top of this Goatboy has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with WarLord.
Moocow: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

[Skatche]

Jesus. What is that, a love pentagram?

[moocow]

Interesting...

Wait... I'm married to Glitch?! EWWW...

[DarkDragoonX]

Um... right. How that is amusing remains beyond my grasp.

[Glitch]

To have it be funny, you have to make your own.

[Dirk the Daring]

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Dirk the Daring is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Breaker. So everyone please put your hands together for Dirk the Daring!
Jerry: Okay, now Dirk the Daring you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: moocow.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well moocow, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Dirk the Daring, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Darunia!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a garden hose. Darunia reaches for the futon sofa. Out of the shadows Darth Cronic appears.
Darth Cronic: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Darunia.
Darunia: Because I saw Dirk the Daring and Darth Cronic making out at Disney World!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Darth Cronic: That's a lie! I was home watching Knight Rider!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Darunia?
Darunia: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Breaker who has recently become engaged to Darth Cronic.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Breaker out here because Dirk the Daring had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... moocow that's right!
Breaker: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with moocow! You know I'm how I feel about moocow!.
Darth Cronic: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with moocow!
Breaker: Because I knew that I could never have moocow. But Dirk the Daring promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Darth Cronic: What about respect for MY feelings!
Darunia walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Breaker.
Darunia: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Darth Cronic: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Darth Cronic runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Darth Cronic: Dirk the Daring take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Darth Cronic: Married?
You nod.
Darth Cronic: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to moocow.
Breaker: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
moocow: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 69 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Dirk the Daring is married to moocow who Breaker has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Breaker has recently become engaged to Darth Cronic who was recently spotted kissing Dirk the Daring in the Disney World. Now on top of this Darunia has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Breaker.
moocow: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

[Darunia]

mmm, that will interest you, moo :D

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Darunia is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Drunken Tiger. So everyone please put your hands together for Darunia!
Jerry: Okay, now Darunia you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Mander.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Mander, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Darunia, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... obi!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a Megaton Hammer. obi reaches for the chair. Out of the shadows moocow appears.
moocow: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here obi.
obi: Because I saw Darunia and moocow making out at Goron City!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
moocow: That's a lie! I was home watching Pokemon!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem obi?
obi: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Drunken Tiger who has recently become engaged to moocow.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Drunken Tiger out here because Darunia had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Mander that's right!
Drunken Tiger: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Mander! You know I'm how I feel about Mander!.
moocow: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Mander!
Drunken Tiger: Because I knew that I could never have Mander. But Darunia promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
moocow: What about respect for MY feelings!
obi walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Drunken Tiger.
obi: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
moocow: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
moocow runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
moocow: Darunia take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
moocow: Married?
You nod.
moocow: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Mander.
Drunken Tiger: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Mander: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex ten times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Darunia is married to Mander who Drunken Tiger has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Drunken Tiger has recently become engaged to moocow who was recently spotted kissing Darunia in the Goron City. Now on top of this obi has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Drunken Tiger.
Mander: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

XD

[Glitch]

Moocow is very popular I see :naughty:

[DarkDragoonX]

You guys have issues. =P

[moocow]

AAAAHHHHH HAHAHA
I used real people that I know for this. Jarrod = War Lord, Steve = Hickman, Karen and CC are good friends of mine...
~~~~~~~~~~~

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Chandra is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of hers Karen. So everyone please put your hands together for Chandra!
Jerry: Okay, now Chandra you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Steve.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Steve, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Chandra, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... CC!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a large purple vibrator. CC reaches for the whips and chains. Out of the shadows Jarrod appears.
Jarrod: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here CC.
CC: Because I saw Chandra and Jarrod making out at the Lion's Den!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Jarrod: That's a lie! I was home watching Debbie Does Dallas!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem CC?
CC: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Karen who has recently become engaged to Jarrod.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Karen out here because Chandra had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Steve that's right!
Karen: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Steve! You know I'm how I feel about Steve!.
Jarrod: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Steve!
Karen: Because I knew that I could never have Steve. But Chandra promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Jarrod: What about respect for MY feelings!
CC walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Karen.
CC: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Jarrod: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Jarrod runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Jarrod: Chandra take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Jarrod: Married?
You nod.
Jarrod: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Steve.
Karen: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Steve: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 87 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Chandra is married to Steve who Karen has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Karen has recently become engaged to Jarrod who was recently spotted kissing Chandra in the the Lion's Den. Now on top of this CC has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Karen.
Steve: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

[Paradox]

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Paradox is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his plith. So everyone please put your hands together for Paradox!
Jerry: Okay, now Paradox you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Clueless Blonde.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Clueless Blonde, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Paradox, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Mr.Cow..!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a Colt M4A1 with an attached silencer. Mr.Cow.. reaches for the piece of lint. Out of the shadows GameQueen appears.
GameQueen: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Mr.Cow...
Mr.Cow..: Because I saw Paradox and GameQueen making out at space station!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
GameQueen: That's a lie! I was home watching "Why Darunia is Dumb"!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Mr.Cow..?
Mr.Cow..: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with plith who has recently become engaged to GameQueen.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring plith out here because Paradox had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Clueless Blonde that's right!
plith: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Clueless Blonde! You know I'm how I feel about Clueless Blonde!.
GameQueen: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Clueless Blonde!
plith: Because I knew that I could never have Clueless Blonde. But Paradox promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
GameQueen: What about respect for MY feelings!
Mr.Cow.. walks suddenly across the stage, embracing plith.
Mr.Cow..: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
GameQueen: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
GameQueen runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
GameQueen: Paradox take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
GameQueen: Married?
You nod.
GameQueen: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Clueless Blonde.
plith: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Clueless Blonde: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 23 1/2 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Paradox is married to Clueless Blonde who plith has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now plith has recently become engaged to GameQueen who was recently spotted kissing Paradox in the space station. Now on top of this Mr.Cow.. has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with plith.
Clueless Blonde: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

[Drunken Tiger]

:lol:

Here you go!!





Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Drunken Tiger is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Warlord. So everyone please put your hands together for Drunken Tiger!
Jerry: Okay, now Drunken Tiger you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Foxygrl.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Foxygrl, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Drunken Tiger, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... JJMaxx!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a Fuckstick. JJMaxx reaches for the lamp. Out of the shadows Mander appears.
Mander: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here JJMaxx.
JJMaxx: Because I saw Drunken Tiger and Mander making out at AGN Forums!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Mander: That's a lie! I was home watching Simpsons!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem JJMaxx?
JJMaxx: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Warlord who has recently become engaged to Mander.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Warlord out here because Drunken Tiger had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Foxygrl that's right!
Warlord: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Foxygrl! You know I'm how I feel about Foxygrl!.
Mander: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Foxygrl!
Warlord: Because I knew that I could never have Foxygrl. But Drunken Tiger promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Mander: What about respect for MY feelings!
JJMaxx walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Warlord.
JJMaxx: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Mander: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Mander runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Mander: Drunken Tiger take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Mander: Married?
You nod.
Mander: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Foxygrl.
Warlord: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Foxygrl: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 8 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Drunken Tiger is married to Foxygrl who Warlord has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Warlord has recently become engaged to Mander who was recently spotted kissing Drunken Tiger in the AGN Forums. Now on top of this JJMaxx has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Warlord.
Foxygrl: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

[obi]

Those a hillariously funny, I mean you change the TV program to something else on topic, but lets not get into that now eh?

Shame they're all the same. Funny none the less...