Smokin' D. Grass
05-03-2002, 11:44 AM
"Deadly Canadian Virus"
NEW VIRUS WARNING
If you receive an E-mail with a subject line of "Bad Times", delete it immediatley WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous E-mail virus yet.
It will rewrite your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerators coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR, and use sub-space field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your Ex your new phone number. It will mix anti-freeze into your fish tank. It will drink all of your beer, and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when company comes over. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work, and interfere with with your radio so that you only hear static while stuck in traffic.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair, and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your significant other behind your back, and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa Card.
"Bad Times" will give you Dutch Elm Disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and the hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bath tub.
It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangeous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.:smoking:
NEW VIRUS WARNING
If you receive an E-mail with a subject line of "Bad Times", delete it immediatley WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous E-mail virus yet.
It will rewrite your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerators coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR, and use sub-space field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your Ex your new phone number. It will mix anti-freeze into your fish tank. It will drink all of your beer, and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when company comes over. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work, and interfere with with your radio so that you only hear static while stuck in traffic.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair, and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your significant other behind your back, and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa Card.
"Bad Times" will give you Dutch Elm Disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and the hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bath tub.
It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangeous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.:smoking: